So what happens after the 30 day no contact rule?


Home Forums How To Get My Ex Back So what happens after the 30 day no contact rule?

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  • #548367 Reply
    Eva

    Sonia, since you mentioned “relationship rewind”- I read it and it would probably land you again in casual dating situation with that guy. It says contact a guy with something that will remind him of good times. Mention you should catch up once and then do nothing. After a week suggest meeting up with friends. I don’t remember all the details but it suggested playing uninterested in getting back together, going out with another male friend and flirting with him so that the ex can see that he doesn’t have a hold on you etc. The whole time you should keep reminding him of the good old times.
    So in your case it probably wouldn’t make him to want a relationship but going back to casual dating. Also this one is probably the only of all those get-you-ex-back programs that might actually work better after a long time has passed than after a short time

    In my experience old flings/fwbs like to try to come back but not for anything serious

    #563904 Reply
    Tiffany

    Met the love of my life 3 years ago. We went out every Friday night because that was his only free night. He was divorced and had a young son he’d get every Saturday. So Friday was his day to go out. We did this for almost a year. I finally confessed to him I had fallen in love with him. He was surprised but ok with it. He did not tell me he loved me back but his actions said more. He is not an emotional man. We did so many things together we cooked together, had nice evenings just talking about lots of things. It was easy he lives down the street from me 2 houses down. I love him so much. When we met he was not active in his church at all. But then shortly after I told him I loved him he decided to go back to church which I thought was great, but then he started to avoid me and stopped going out with me. He always had an excuse. I’ve met his sons and 2 of his brothers they like me. But I just got tired of all the excuses. But the in between he has alway texted me or called me. I know he cares about me, he gets so excited when ever he sees me his eyes and huge smile everytime. But here 3 weeks ago I asked him out for a simple dinner and he said no. I got upset and said nothing. That day I told myself I would ignore him. It was so hard. 2 weeks went by and he sent me a text saying how long in hours it had been since we’d spoken. So I texted back the same number of hours except I added #hours too late. Now 1 more week and it will be 30 days no contact. I love him and I know he cares about me. WHat Should I Do? ?? Is he just being stubborn or is it his religion? Is he that stubborn to let this all go?

    #563907 Reply
    Hannah

    Tiffany you live down his street but only saw each other once a week? He didn’t say he loved you after a year? Since then he’s been avoiding you?

    I think you were a FWB and by saying you loved him, it made it more complicated than he wanted. I used to have a Friday night FWB and it was great fun! But I would have ended it too if he’d told me he loved me.

    He’s not being stubborn. He just doesn’t have the right feelings for you. I’m sorry! A man that loves you wants to see you more than once a week. He wants to see you all the time! And he tells you he loves you. He doesn’t avoid you and make excuses.

    #563967 Reply
    Tiffany

    Hannah, you are probably right. But then why bring me around you boys the youngest one is 10 and his older son is 25. I really got along with his brothers and I should clarify it wasn’t only Friday nights we’d see each other during the week as well. He have great chemistry and great conversation all the time. I really seem to think it’s his religion why he stays away. They seem to be very strict when it comes to dating. It’s weird if you ask me. He’s a grown man, business man at that how can he not see that since he went back he’s lost mostly all friends and me. His life now is work, church and only attends church events he doesn’t even go out with his brothers anymore.

    #564382 Reply
    Elizabeth

    I have had been seeing him about 2-3 times a week for about 3 1/2 years. Then he cut it down to 1 day a week, usually Saturday. The last thing that happened is we spent Sat and Sun together. Then he texted me good morning on Monday and again on Tues. I called him but it went to VM on Tuesday and left him a message to call me back . He just texted me . Then he sent one text a day for a week including Sat and Sun. Then on Monday he texted me again. I had by then had enough and when I didn’t respond he sent me a sad face. I texted him back telling him to please leave me alone . He responded again with a sad face , later that night he texted me “ok” in response to my leave me alone text. I didn’t respond. It has been 16 days now and he hasn’t texted or called. What do you think ? Do you think he’s stubborn or really just doesn’t care ?

    #596442 Reply
    clef2200

    Hi all-

    To begin with, I have never commented on a blog before. This is my first time and I really want to contribute to this one. I am currently on day 31 of NC after my ex girlfriend refused to take me back. I told her that I want to be out of the relationship because we kept on fighting over one subject that we couldn’t agree on. I realized my mistake two hours later but it was already too late. Although we have exchanged texts and emails before the NC, she seemed determine to move on with her life and I wanted to show her some respect by leaving her alone.

    I started the NC rule for two primary reasons. The first reason is because I LOVE HER VERY MUCH and willing to test whether this relationship was meant to be. I don’t really think not contacting someone within the first 30 days of breaking up is a bad sign. From a male perspective, it really allows me to see whether or not I really care about her. Every time I feel the need to text her, I replace it by saying out loud “I love you”, which seeems to be very helpful. I am willing to go as far as 60 day before reaching out to her again. Although I might be the one to initiate contact because she is a litttle stubborn and may not want to do but that’s also fine with me.

    The second reason is because I have to alter my life by moving to a different country to be with her. We are currently living in two different countries at the moment and she is pressuring me to move in to her country because she doesn’t like to be in a long distance relationship. We are both in our late 30s, career focus, goal oriented and quite comfortable in our everyday lives. Again, the NC rule will help me to make a final choice by deciding whether or not I want to move to another country.

    Bottom line, I never stop loving her eventhough it has been 31 days of NC. I think this is a good time for both parties to reflect on the relationship, of what went wrong, and how to prevent it from happening again.

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