Should I respond or wait for him to reach out again?

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Sabrinelle 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #837500 Reply


    I have been on a handful of dates with a guy over the last few weeks. We hit it off and things were in a good flow. He was never a huge texter but would always text every few days to see how my day or week was and then make plans to see me next. He was out of town for a week to see family and we texted throughout and when he returned he said he wanted to see me that week but then didn’t text me for 4 days. We ended up seeing each other and it was great. However, this past week he did it again. I didn’t hear from him for 5 days and I normally wouldn’t mind texting first but since he did this last week I was trying to take that as a que to hold back a bit. I finally ended up texting him Wednesday evening just asking how his week was. He didn’t respond until 10pm on Thursday just saying he’s been battling a cold all week and had a horrible work week. I didn’t see it until Friday morning and was honestly annoyed I hadn’t heard from him. I totally get bad weeks or being sick but not saying anything to me for almost 6 days seems extreme. I haven’t responded yet and I’m not sure if I should respond and mention the communication issues or just wait for him to text me again. What is your advice?

    #837510 Reply


    Move on…

    #837515 Reply


    He’s not that interested in you and/or seeing other women. Kick him to the curb mentally and don’t reach out any more. See if he steps up. Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t.

    #837561 Reply

    T from NY

    When a man is interested In pursuing something real with a a woman, then is gone for a week, he would make plans right away to see you when he is back. (As much to see you AND assure you don’t have time to make plans with others). He also would not make you wait from Wednesday until essentially after bedtime the next day!!! to return your text.

    You are his back pocket girl
    He’s interested in sex or occasional companionship with you.
    If you want something more or don’t do casual – move on.

    Absolutely so not address the lack of communication. His ACTIONS are communication. The only guy you talk to about lack of initiating is your boyfriend – and even that – minimally. A woman’s ONLY jobs in dating are: Sit back and do nothing. Watch what the man does. If we like it, stay. If we don’t, move on. We’ve all been there with people we like but it’s not a match.

    #837575 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    Agree with the others. This is a guy you’ve had a few dates with, he’s not your boyfriend. A conversation about communication would be totally inappropriate. He’s showing you his level of interest with his actions. And his level of interest is low. A guy who is interested in a woman doesn’t leave her hanging in radio silence for days. He actively makes plans to see her often. After a few weeks of dating, if the guy is interested in you, he will escalate his contact.

    It sounds like this guy is deescalating his contact with you. He’s probably dating others. That’s fine, you should be dating others too.

    #837643 Reply


    T from NY i LOVE your advice (last 3 sentences or so) – it’s a good reminder for us all. our job is to happily receive (if we’re ok with what’s being given), but not give – let him give. when a guy is interested he literally won’t let it be possible for you to forget him – he’ll text, initiate, double-text even (like if you ignore him one night he’ll re-engage with a fresh conversation the next day), ask you out early on… thanks for the reminder.

    OP – letting 5 days or more go by with nothing is a huge sign, whether you’ve just met the person 2 weeks ago or you’ve been dating for 2 years. also thought i’d add since nobody else did, beware of the “oh i was sick” excuses early on, ESPECIALLY if they only come after the fact and only after YOU initiate and prompt… in other words, it’s a bad sign if they disappear/ drop off with no explanation, then you kind of re-engage/ask whats up (which you really shouldn’t do if you’re not in a relationship), and then they’re all “oh i was sick”- i’ve seen girls do that to girls they no longer want to be friends with, and guys make up that bs excuse to girls they are not gaga over… and it never bodes well. honestly from both myself and all of my gf’s, i’ve never seen a guy who was wildly interested who ever went poof or missed a single date or opportunity in those early on days. best of luck.

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