Should I keep dating a guy I’m not interested in?

The problem with this dilemma (I believe) is online dating. My first answer would be to tell you YES absolutely stop dating anyone you’re not attracted to after 2 dates. Here’s why — even if you’re not attracted to someone physically you should at least be intrigued by their personality. A guy I once talked to about this told me “If I have to ask yes or no – that’s a no” and I’ve kind of always remembered that.

I’m of the belief that interest, chemistry and beginnings of love should burn dam* hot at the beginning because life together, children, trials you will face and etc wears on that flame -therefore needs to roaring in the first place.

The only caveat to that is — there was a guy I knew at work. When I started I heard people describing him as attractive and j was like um…. no way. Didn’t find him cute whatsoever. But over time, as we became friends I now find him incredibly attractive and would definitely date him (if he was available lol). BUT I feel it is unwise in an online dating scenario to give that amount of time to develop something. Working side by side or hanging out side by side at a club allows a relationship to develop organically — totally not the same with structured one on one dates.

It’s also always smart not to date with a scarcity mindset. Like don’t hold on to something because you’ve been single a long time or are afraid there aren’t many guys in your area. I live in a small city. Dating is pretty bad here. But TRUE love is truly only found like once or twice a decade if we’re lucky. So striking out on chemistry or being attracted should be expected as the norm. And all you have to text him is “Thank you for the time we’ve spent together. You seem like a really great guy. But I’ve checked in with me and I don’t feel enough of a connection this could lead to long term. I wish you the best.”

Thank you all for your kind and helpful responses! I think you all definitely have a point and that I should break it off as soon as I can. The only thing is that after our second date he asked (in person) “Let’s meet up again?” I was a bit overwhelmed by this question and said “Yeah, sure.”

Should I suck it up and go out with him one more time because I have technically already said yes or should I be honest and break it off?

@Better off single, I agree with you that there is no good way to reject someone, but I don’t want to ghost or anything. Happened to me once and I will never do that to someone else. But maybe I should be blunt indeed.

I get the temptation or revenge to do it but I admire people who don’t ghost. At worst, I’ve texted a blunt one-line goodbye with the reason. But I’ve never ghosted myself.

Be honest and break it off, instead of forcing yourself to go on another potentially awkward date. I understand wanting to stick to your word but it happens all the time when people say yes in the moment yet don’t mean it.

If you feel really good about it then you KNOW you did the right thing! Rock on!