New boyfriend doesn't post me on social media?


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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Eric Charles 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #933514

    Saskia

    Hi, I’ve just gotten into a new relationship (we made things official a month ago after talking for almost a year.)

    I’m a bit concerned because on social media, my ex used to post me all the time, the same amount as I would post him. But my new boyfriend, I will post him on my stories and have posted one loved-up couple photo of us on my instagram, but he hasn’t posted anything of us on his, not even on his stories, not on snap, not on insta either.

    He will post his friends loads on his profile and I see that he still has the old posts of him and his ex girlfriend up, but posts nothing of me. It’s as if I don’t exist on his social media. Is this cause for concern? I’m just worried because he posted his ex loads, even at the beginning of their relationship. I’ve asked him about it, but he changes the topic/avoids talking about it.

    I think I’m also a bit worried because apparently after we had made things exclusive last year, his friend told me he had flirted with a couple of girls and even ‘went into a room’ with one of them when I wasn’t there. Apparently also, on New Years before I was set to come round for the night, he had told all of his friends he went out with that he “couldn’t wait to have his balls drained” that night.

    Should I be concerned or not?

    #933515

    B

    Honestly, I’d be more worried about the flirting with other girls than the not posting you. How is he in the relationship with you? Also, the comment he made about you draining his balls is gross.

    #933516

    Eric Charles
    Keymaster

    Posting you on social media where his friends will see 👎

    Telling all his friends he can’t wait for you to “drain his balls” 👍

    …. ? 🤔

    What do you think of this?

    What would you say to one of your friends if she brought this situation to you?

    #933518

    Saskia

    I see what you’re saying. If a friend of mine told me her boyfriend was acting like that, I’d tell her to stop seeing him. But my bf seems to really like me apart from that? We are constantly talking to each other and we go on amazing dates every weekend. Plus, why would he ask me to be his girlfriend if he’s gonna do these things? I’m just confused because I really like him already, I don’t want to have my heart broken.

    #933519

    B

    I would just have my guard up a little. Don’t invest too much I would, especially because it’s a new relationship. I get that you like him a lot, but he sounds a little off in my opinion. Especially since he posted his ex and now won’t post you

    #933520

    B

    Just be careful girl! That’s all x

    #933526

    ANM Staff
    Keymaster

    Hi Saskia – I noticed you’re also replying to yourself as “B” here. If your situation was legitimate, then I hope Eric’s advice helps you! But I think that if you need to reply to yourself and pretend to have a conversation, then maybe this forum isn’t the right place for you. Best wishes, bye!

    #933528

    Eric Charles
    Keymaster

    “But my bf seems to really like me apart from that?”

    Apart from his actions?

    “We are constantly talking to each other and we go on amazing dates every weekend.”

    Seems like you like that…

    “Plus, why would he ask me to be his girlfriend if he’s gonna do these things?”

    Seems like you think that asking you to be his girlfriend means something that it maybe doesn’t actually mean…

    I’m just confused because I really like him already, I don’t want to have my heart broken.”

    Exactly…

    YOU really like him.

    YOU don’t want to have your heart broken.

    HE…

    Well, apparently what we know so far is…

    HE likes his balls drained.

    And if the price of getting those balls drained is to take you on “amazing dates”, that’s easy enough.

    He told his friends that your presence = getting his balls drained.

    So…

    How’s it going to look when the “ball-drainer” is his public girlfriend?

    All of his friends are going to be like, “Oh Saskia? The one who drains your balls? You made her your girlfriend? Does she know that you demeaned her to all of your friends, saying her role is to drain your balls?”

    You may have all these warm fuzzy feelings for him.

    But that’s what sex does for a woman…

    Sex makes a woman fall in love with a man. Biologically speaking, it’s the most powerful love trigger for a woman, by far.

    This love trigger isn’t there for a man.

    For a man, sex is just sex. It has nothing to do with love.

    And taking you on “amazing dates” doesn’t mean anything in itself either. You may love it, but for him it could just be the price of “getting his balls drained”.

    Now…

    All that said…

    If there is something here…

    If there is some kernel of a chance for a relationship to bud…

    He set up his own hurdle by talking about you that way to his friends. He demeaned himself and he’s going to need to talk himself out of that before you show up on any social media.

    Frankly, social media is a big pain in the butt anyway.

    A guy with any sense in his head will wait on posting his new relationship publicly on social media because posting doesn’t just tell all your friends and family that you’re dating… it also announces when you break up, too.

    Most guys have no interest in everyone in their life knowing their relationship status. Especially after they’ve been through the full cycle of that once.

    But that’s the lesser issue at hand here.

    Sometimes guys will say dumb stuff, especially when they’re drunk. So it was New Years, maybe he had a bad moment and he got carried away acting like an idiot. That’s possible.

    #933529

    Eric Charles
    Keymaster

    Wait you’re writing replies to yourself in this thread?

    Uh…

    What’s that about?

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