My boyfriend's female roomate loves my boyfriend…

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  ANM Staff 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #929905 Reply


    Hello everyone,

    I am in a relationship with a guy since 3 months. Everything is going well and he already told me he loves me. He comes from Greece and came here for his job for a period of 9 months. He will go back to Greece soon but we will do a long distance (2 hour flight so its fine).

    When he arrived, he found a flat with a girl he knows since 10 years. She is 10 year older than him (40 years old but superficial, very blond, low neckline etc…). We are both 30. When he started dating me, she also started dating a “local” guy.

    One day, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and she arrived dressed with only a bra. I was really shocked. My boyfriend said that it make 4 months that he lives with her and he is used to see her like that and her as well saw him wearing a pant. He told me he is not attracted to her because she is old and he doesn’t like her character.

    Few days later, I felt that I was disturbing them when I slept in their places while she was there. He was often telling me that “I should go back home because she doesn’t want us to make noise at night”.
    One day, I slept in their places while she was there (usually i sleep there only when she goes to see her boyfriend) and she gave me a dirty look and didn’t talk to me at all, not even a “Hello”!
    Every morning, she usually goes to work with my boyfriend with his car because they have the same job. But this morning when I slept there, she said goodbye and left the house slamming the door. He was surprised and told me “that’s weird, i don’t know what she has but i don’t care”.

    I think that this girl is probably in love with my boyfriend. This situation makes me feel very unconfortable because they both live together. They finish work at 4 pm and i finish at 10 pm and go back home alone.. They have plenty of time to do many things together. Unfortunately, I live with my parents so I can’t offer him to come…

    This situation makes me feel crazy. I already explained to my boyfriend but each time he just doesn’t undersand me and hates seeing me jealous. He said that if he wanted to have sex with her he would have done it before and won’t have bothered going in a relationship with me.

    I would like to have some advise because I feel so bad.. Each time, i mention the subject he sais that he doesn’t have the choice and lives with her and that she is a friend. Sometimes, I feel so bad that I just want to break up with him because I can’t focus on my work because of that. What do you think and what can I do?

    #929908 Reply


    You’ve posted this story several times already in the past month or so under other names and gotten advice. Please stop. It’s not allowed on this site to post the same story multiple times and under multiple names.

    Admin, would you please help this person understand how it works around here.

    #929909 Reply


    I lost the previous topic.. I couldn’t find it this is why I reposted

    #929915 Reply


    OK so the advice is going to be the same as you got before… you’ve brought this up, he’s dismissed it and explained it. Either you believe him or not. Obviously you do not since you’re posting again about it. Doesn’t sound like he’s going to change his living situation. If you can’t get comfortable with the situation then you need to stop seeing him. Sticking around and nagging him about it won’t work – at some point he’ll break up with you because he’s tired of your jealousy.

    Add a bookmark to your posts so you can find them again.

    #929926 Reply

    ANM Staff

    Hi Love-notlove – Yes, as our community members mentioned, it’s very helpful to bookmark a topic that you’ve posted here. That way you can come back to it later. Even if you don’t feel like saying something new, then maybe re-reading the advice given to you can help you if you are feeling anxious or unsure.

    Sometimes, our community members notice if a topic has been discussed before. That can be frustrating, because then we feel like maybe a person is just ignoring responses. But, you can follow some quick advice to help us avoid the frustration, and also have a productive conversation!

    If you feel like you need to ask about something in this forum, just try to remember the name you used before, and keep using that same name. Also — very important — when you ask about something, please mention that you’ve visited this forum before. When you mention that you have visited before, but you have a new question, it helps everyone understand that you’re not trying to hide anything. Then everyone knows that you’ve talked about it before, and you’re looking for new advice.

    I’ll share one last thing: If someone gives you advice and it sounds good, just let them know! Maybe they will have more kind words that will help you. Or, if you receive advice but maybe it hurts too much to accept, or maybe the advice just doesn’t seem to match your situation, it’s okay to talk about that too.

    Everyone in this community really wants people to find answers to their troubles. I hope that everyone’s advice shared with you in this forum has helped bring you clarity!

    #929934 Reply



    I can’t find the topic. I lost it so I couldn’t read the comments. That’s why I would like to have new advise.
    How can I find my previous topic ? I don’t forget the name neither the topic title

    #929935 Reply


    I wanted to say that I forgot the title of the topic as well I

    #929936 Reply


    I think my topic might have been deleted.. so can we use this topic instead ?

    #929937 Reply

    ANM Staff

    Hi Love-notlove – I think your other topic thread is here at this link. Hopefully that’s the one you were looking for!

    Also, in case it’s helpful, the list of all the topics across all the forums are listed here on this webpage.

    Good luck!

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