Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Making my crush forgive me
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Bets.
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Sylvia
So basically I know I was in the wrong. He wasn’t without his faults but I felt this insane chemistry and everything about hm impressed me made me want to hug or have sex with him. I showed him my cards, was needy and he wasn’t into me/was screwed up/who knows. It was just a crush/date not my ex so it’s part of fantasy so it’s more difficult to let go. I blew it. My fault. I’ll never do this mistake again. Some people come back to our lives some not. How many times can you say “I’m sorry”, would you try after a while to at least patch up? The worst part that he’s very stubborn and wasn’t into me enough but I’m like Scarlett O’Hara “I’l find a way to get him back” in a way. Any advice? I know it’s his choice and his choice only. Does time heal wounds? Oh and would a cute and slightly sexy picture we share together be the right one to send? or only something neutral?
Sophia
You’ve apologized so leave it. The ball is in his court. Unfortunately there’s no way to win back a guy that was never really into you. I think if you do anything right now it’s only going to push him further away. Let this one go. Learn from the experience and move on to a new man. Good luck!
Better off single
Sounds kind of desperate.
Raven
If he’s not feeling it, he’s not feeling it…
Anderson
This is a gone case. He isn’t going to throw you a bone.
I have a question for you instead, Sylvia. What could this guy do to murder your obsessive crush over him? In a way so that it doesnt damage your ego and you don’t turn passive aggressive or forever hold a grudge?
I’ve never been able to solve this riddle in the 3-4 times I’ve had someone like you after me.
Better off single
Anderson, you just have to be honest. there is no controlling anyone’s reaction to rejection.
What murders an obsessive crush? Someone new to obsess about or attention from a guy who actually wants her with mutual feelings.
Better off single
Scarlett never got the guy she wanted and realized it was she wanted what she couldn’t have…so be like someone else. Not like vain, self centered, stubborn little miss scarlett.
Anderson
Oh I have been honest. I just hoped there was a way to have my cake and eat it too
But your “there is no controlling anyone’s reaction to rejection” is a great point/reminder. Thank you
Better off single
Well, not everyone is mature and will just shove the cake right into your face hoping frosting gets lodged up your nose. Happy to help.
kaye
You can’t MAKE someone forgive you! You’ve apologized. Saying you’re sorry time and time again only gets annoying. You can’t find a way to get back a man you never had. You are saying “I know it’s his choice and his choice only” but you’re aren’t believing those words. Otherwise you wouldn’t be talking about finding a way to get him back or sending sexy pictures to try to manipulate him into talking to you. If you truly believed the words that were coming out of your mouth you would know it’s best to leave this alone and move on.
Have you never had a guy like you when you weren’t into him? He keeps hanging around, telling you how much he likes you, asking you to hang out or go out with him. He could be the nicest guy in the world but you just don’t have the same feelings. So at first you are nice, but then he just doesn’t seem to be getting the picture so you have to be more blunt and make it clear. Then he starts apologizing and wanting to tell you he’s sorry, he make a mistake, etc. At that point it just start getting annoying and you avoid being around him and start ignoring him. Why? Because you aren’t interested!! And there is not a thing this guy can say or do to change your mind. As a matter of fact, the more he pushes the further resolved it make you that you aren’t interested!! Can you see my point?
And yes time does heal wounds. Especially when this is just a crush and not a guy you’re in love with.
Ann
Oh no, I did this many times when I started dating my ex. The difference is he was reallyyy into me so he always forgave me. But I still ended pushing him away. You said you’ll never make this mistake again, chances are you probably will. You just don’t stop being needy all of a sudden, sounds like you have to work on yourself first. Plus this guy not being that much into you will only make you be more needy. Why would you even want to be w a guy who’s not all into you anyways? Love yourself. Someone who actually sees your worth will come around be patient
Miriam
Please move on. You are wasting your precious energy on a lost cause. Hes not into you. I know it appears like the great life challenge to “win him over”. It’s a psychological fact we want what we cant have.
I was in the same situation as you until I started reading about limerence and longing. Our egos are at play not our hearts. We cant stand the fact someone doesn’t want us. We do everything in our power to appease our egos.
Cut contact and stop thinking of ways to get his attention.
Sylvia
Guys, you’re so right. It’s mostly my ego/fantasy and I’d be annoyed if I were him but more gentle. I even threw them a bone and stayed in touch. With one guy I blocked him then unblocked and honestly we’re friends now! So life is crazy. I wanted him because I chased him. Some guys puff up. The worst part now is that I feel like a total clown. I cringe at myself and it’s a terrible feeling. Meeting a new guy and time would definitely help, you’re totally right. Oh and the guy is furious and I feel so bad! I need my dignity back, now it’s less about him but about how I feel about myself and what I did! I’ll repeat some of my mistakes probably but still I did learn a lesson. It’s like.. what if I’ll be laughed at publicly at some birthday party etc?
Bets
Just smile and shrug and laugh it off. At least u care about people and liking someone is s great feeling. Don’t beat yourself up, just learn from it and move on 👍
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