Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › If a short term dating situation ended mutually, can either person reach out?
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Khadija.
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Unsure
We dated for a few months. Not labelled. As corny as it sounds, it was one of the closest connections I’ve had. I think one of the best things was it was so easy to be in each others company, even after such a short amount of time. We both had very recent relationships end prior to meeting. Given this info, we agreed to see how things went given the great connection. (I guess in hindsight, it was good and bad timing)
Almost 3 weeks ago, initiated via a text from him, we agreed mutually be friends for now due to both of us just not being in the right mindset for a relationship at this time. Not worth stringing each other along. He was the last to send me a message. We left the communication opportunity open. I have gone ‘no contact’ because since I’ve been apart from him, I’ve actually realised that I really care about him and need space to sort myself out.
We haven’t spoken/seen each other in almost 3 weeks.
In this type of situation of mutual endings, should I be wise to let him initiate and message me?
Or is there no harm if I reach out myself to ‘check in’?Advice welcome with open ears! :)
Aus
He initiated the break, and it’s been three weeks with no word from him.
Please don’t reach out, he knows where to find you, he knows who you are and what you’re about.If he can live without your lovely presence, let him; honey
Mirror his actions and live your best life in the meantime.
Do not wait around to hear from him and do not “innocently” reach out, us women think that men cannot see through our carefully constructed supposedly lighthearted texts.kaye
You said you agreed to be friends and left communication open. You also say you had a great connection and you “really care about him.” If you aren’t in LOVE with him and it’s not going to set back your healing to keep in touch then I don’t see the harm. Sometimes people come into our life aren’t meant to be a romantic interest but there’s no reason they can’t be a friend when you have a good connection.
Franny
It’s never mutual.
If he wanted to be talking to you, he would be talking to you. Do not reach out. I know it’s disappointing, and I’m sorry. Save your energy for someone who does want to talk to you.
Andrea
He initiated the “let’s be just friends” talk and he hasn’t reached out to you in almost a month. He isn’t interested. If you reach out, he will find a way to get the message to you louder and clearer, because you are not getting it–he may not respond, he may respond with a lackluster vibe, he may use this as an opportunity for sex and then ghost, he may block you, etc. Keep your dignity and move forward with your life!
Khadija
He initiated the break up vi a text, then offered friendship as a consolation prize.
Then you haven’t heard from him in weeks.
Most people offer friendship to cushion the below but, rarely mean it.Don’t check in with him. He’s doing just fine because if he was so broken up about things, you would have heard from him.
If later down the line he reaches out and you’re still interested so be it but, I see no reason to send that just checking in text.
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