lost feelings for me

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  • #943948 Reply

    hello everyone, me and my ex boyfriend have been together for 6 months. during our relationship, everything was great. he was sweet and loving, would reassure me when i had worries. the past 2 weeks however i noticed he wasnt feeling himself. he was pulling away from a lot of things, his friends, his hobbies, and even me. he told me he was feeling himself fall into a depressive state. being me, i gave him his space and i thought everything was well between us. ive had anxious thoughts about his distancing to me but he would reassure me everytime, saying he wouldnt do that to me. everything is well until sunday night. he was supposed to come over but he didnt because it was raining. it stopped and i asked if he was still able and he told me he wasnt feeling right to do so. i said ok, and i asked him if it were because of me or if it was because of how he was feeling. he told me he didnt know. i panicked, kept my calm, and i told him ok just tell me truthfully what youre feeling. and he wouldnt respond. he told me he was coming over to talk. i got anxious and i told him if he was going to break up with me. he told me he didnt know, he just needed to talk.

    fast forward at my house, hes trying to explain to me about his emotions but he finds it hard to open up. i tried to comfort him and he told me he was afraid of hurting me more. that not only was he pulling away from everything, but also me. that him pulling away was causing him to lose the romantic feelings he had for me. hearing this was hard, but the entire time he comforted me and held me as i cried. he told me was extremely sorry, that he felt everything was his fault. that he ruined our relationship, and that im a good person and deserve better than him. i wanted us to work, i asked him if he could try our relationship a little more to see if his feelings would come back. he told me he was afraid they wouldn’t and he would end up hurting me even more. the entire time he put the blame on himself and told me that im a beautiful girl with a lot ahead of her. that he loved me entirely as a person but he felt his romantic love fading. i got the closure i needed, i don’t have any questions about our breakup, but it definitely hurts. it hurts because i loved him so. its been 2 days and im feeling a bit better, but it still aches my heart that he let me go.

    #943951 Reply

    This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his mental health issues. I know on the one hand it’s nice to hear that it’s not you but on the other it is tough because it means since you’re not the problem then you can’t fix it. You can only believe him, let him go, mourn the relationship, and open yourself back up to someone else when you’re eventually ready. It’s better he didn’t waste your time, and it’s possible he’s going to feel his feelings again, but they will always come and go until he deals with his own issues, which he may not ever do. That’s no reflection on you or your value, though. So give yourself some time, stay no contact with him for a while, and do activities you enjoy and spend time with people you enjoy.

    #943957 Reply

    thank you maddie :)

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