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- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 7 years, 4 months ago by
redcurleysue.
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Jay
I’ve been dating this man for 7 months. He’s 7 years older than me. He got out a relationship a few months before we started dating. He’s really sweet and supportive of me. I sometimes feel like we are already in a relationship. He’s taken me out on several dates (none of which I had to pay), he comes to visit me at my university (we are 2 hours apart), he cares about my well being and we’ve been intimate a lot. He cooks for me, and we consistently FaceTime. He said that he likes me a lot and he wants to keep getting to know me to take it to the “next step” – but does that mean a relationship? He said he wants to do right by me, but he said this after I caught him on a dating app (which he deleted but I’m keeping one eye open). Why is he taking so long to ask me to be his girlfriend or am I wasting my time? His actions always line up with what he says, but I just need to know if I’m being impatient.
Hannah
If he hasn’t asked you after 7 months, I very much doubt he will.
There’s no way you’re being impatient! If a man hasn’t asked me in 3 months, I ask what’s going on. If he’s not 100% in by then, I walk away.
I would ask him where you stand. I had one guy just decide I was his girlfriend! He never asked, just assumed. Although I’m not sure that’s the case with your man. If he was using dating apps, he wasn’t 100% convinced about you. Hopefully he is now but you need to find out.
Ash
I agree with Hannah
You’ve already waited too long, he’s had enough time to decide whether he wants to be in a relationship with you or not, time to set it in stone or walk.
If he keeps being wishy washy about putting a title on it, consider that as “never” and that he’s wasting your time.
Nikka
7 months is too long.
Tell him you are are looking for other things in relationships asides for hanging out and see what he does.
Tell him you’d like to date men with intentions of a relationship.
If he doesn’t budge to ask you to be his girlfriend, then he’s not for you.Nat
If he was on an dating app and you “caught” him then his actions don’t line up with his words. 7 months is a very long time. You’ve been extremely patient.
T from NY
Its probably not that he doesn’t like or care about you, its just three things:
-He just got out a relationship a few months before you met him.
-He lives 2 hours away.
-He hasn’t tried to lock you down yet.These are all reasons that illustrate he is not ready. Him going on the dating app while he’s seeing you may not mean he doesn’t want to be with YOU – it just means he may not be ready to be with ANYBODY (AND you live 2 hours away).
You will hear it all over this forum – because its true – men have a very difficult time with long distance unless its temporary. It takes a strong, special love and a plan to be closer to each other. I would stop wasting your time on this one. Find someone closer to home that would be petrified to lose you.
redcurleysue
I do not think he is ready for a full blown relationship just yet.
You are not being impatient…he is not showing signs of full interest.
Since you are not in a relationship I would date others. I know you really like this guy and he is sweet to you but do not put your life on hold for a bird in the bush.
I would just live my life and include other men.
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