Home › Forums › Texting Advice › He texts once a day every other day
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Pita.
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Pita
Ugh. I had written this entire post n it didn’t post. Grr ok, again…lol
I met this guy online mid October. We chatted briefly. He asked me out. We went out and got hammered and he ended up at my place. This has never happened to me in my life. I even wondered if i got rufied by someone, but moving on…i had so much fun lol We didn’t have sex. But, strangely, we kept in touch ha ha ha
I left for out of state work a week later. He told me to keep in touch and let him know when i come back, and agave me his number. I told him he could keep in touch too. He did. We text back n forth for almost 1.5 months. Omg..i hate texting strangers, and i told him this nicely toward the end of my work travel. He agreed. I said i was coming home soon and id prefer we met. He said hed be up for that, so when i came home, he asked to meet up. We went to dinner. It was great. He text the next morning, said he had a great time. I said i did too. He asked if i wanted to meet again that weekend. I said yes. We went out again. It was great again. Then i left a week later for the holidays and I’ve, again, been gone almost 2 weeks and will be back in a week or 2.
He is also a coparent to a youngen.
in the beginning when i was out of state, he would text me a few times a day (this happened for like 2 days), then went to every other day or every 2 days. I just imitated him bc i was immediately responding, then i was like nope. After we met up back in town, Aand ileft for the holidays, i text him b4 xmas to wish him and his family well, he responded well that night. Then he text me merry xmas the day after xmas. I responded.I’ve noticed he responds once every day or every other day. I know he busy, has a child, busy at work, etc… but I’m curious, his texts are like clockwork.. it’s like i know he’ll respond every other day after work. IS this a bad sign, or no sign? Should i keep moving forward? I’m interested but afraid i may be a side piece, but then again, what single father has time for that?
Raven
Why would you put yourself on hold for a guy you’ve seen twice?
Has he ask to see you again?
mama
You’re wondering if consistency is a bad sign? He texts you consistently, and not overly so (i.e., he has a life, just like you).
Is your real question more about being the good time girl in between all his life obligations? We can’t answer that.
You guys have hooked up 3 times so far and you seem to enjoy it. He seems to enjoy it. If you’re looking for more in general from a guy, maybe mention that.
keepitreal
he is a father. the kid will be #1. be thankful if you are even #2. as a single father, you are lucky you have gotten as much attention as you have based on what you wrote here. dont be greedy and know your place when you are dating a man with a kid that isnt yours.
Pita
Well, I didn’t say i was putting myself on hold. I have 4 dates set up for next week, and I’m usually always talking to at least a few guys/men. I’m just most fascinated by him And really like a lot about him each time we figure things out about each other… just hoping he likes me too lol but I’ve never texted with a guy who texts like clockwork once a day every other day and was confused n trying to “figure him out” lol
I’ve seen him only 3 times… probably no differenceANM StaffKeymasterHi Pita – I’m sorry the forum is giving you trouble making your posts! If it keeps holding your posts back, don’t worry, I’ll see them and try to make sure they get published.
Liz Lemon
Texting once a day, or every other day, is low interest. A guy that’s interested in dating you would make more effort and more importantly, he makes plans to see you. It may be he just sees you as a friend, it may be that he’s busy being a dad (although my boyfriend is a dad and he made it VERY clear he was interested in me…having a kid doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t show interest). I don’t know the reason. But you’ve seen this guy in person 4 times since October and it’s now January. That’s low interest.
Liz Lemon
Sorry 3 times, not 4, since October
Pita
Thanks ANM Staff!
Liz, i appreciate your comment, since yr bf is also a dad. I was raised by a divorced father so i understand that world.
IRT the other comments by mama and others, i guess i just don’t know how to understand his interest, or lack of interest.
To be fair, i am the one always traveling and leaving the state. He lives there with his daughter and his daughters mother, so he is the stable one. I travel for work, so i know he’s probably dating because he should… he should be looking for someone who is stable, most likely.I guess i was just trying to figure out signs if hes interested.
Based off these comments, i decided to stop texting him back. His last text was long and thoughtful and he asked me questions, but I’ve realized he isn’t really flirty. He was in the beginning. On our dates, he wasn’t a huge eye contact person, even though he did initiate some physical contact and initiated kissing me.
I guess at this point, it’s very early to ask him anything. Maybe i should just wait to see what he does while i keep dating
…cest la vie
Thank you all!
Pita
Raven,
He hasnt asked to see me again, but its bc he knows Im out of town. But, he hasnt asked when I come back into town, either.I guess I thought bc he was a single father, he would be more serious in looking for someone, so i hope im not just a good time girl for him. If so, I have no problem cutting that off very quickly.
My hesitation or lack of understanding comes at the point when I should tell him what Im looking for, or not. I mean, is it fair to let a single father know I want a relationship when Im the one who is always out of state? What was really interesting was that one night when we were out, we were dancing and he was kissing me, and he was becoming a little more physical than I liked. He saw the look on my face and asked “What? You don’t like that?” I don’t know. I just got some gut feeling that he was looking for fun more than anything else, so at this point, Im wondering, should I just completely stop texting, initiating texts, and just see what he does once Im back in town?
He knows when ill be back. We met online and both profiles are online, so he can look up my location data when he wants. Plus, he knows Ill be back soon, so he can ask.
Should i just stop texting him or should I tell him that Im pulling back because he’s not showing me that he’s into me? Granted, we’ve been texting a lot, but we’ve only gone out on 3 dates in the past 3 months bc im never in town :/
Liz Lemon
A guy who is interested in a relationship escalates things. This guy is not escalating. He may genuinely enjoy texting you or seeing you occasionally. But the big sign to look for with regard to romantic interest is escalation– is he seeing you more, calling/texting more, getting deeper and more intimate emotionally as well as physically? It doesn’t sound like this guy is, it sounds like he’s just enjoying chatting with you over text.
If you’ve only seen him 3 times in 3 months, that’s very little contact. You can’t develop an emotional bond with a guy you never see. Guys don’t bond through texting, they bond through seeing you in person and doing things together, having positive in-person experiences with you, etc. This is where women get caught up– women get feelings for a guy through texting. A guy does not develop an attachment to a woman that way.
Is this amount of work travel normal for you? It will be hard to develop a relationship with any guy if you’re never in town.
Liz Lemon
About the texting- slow it down if you want. Don’t respond immediately, or at all. If he only texts once every day or two, the texting will easily drop off. Remember, if a guy is romantically interested in you, he ramps up the attention. This guy is not ramping it up. If he knows when you’ll be back in town, let him reach out to you. You shouldn’t have a chase a guy if he’s interested.
Pita
Depressing… :(
Thanks Liz. I know you’re right. Yip, I’ve cut the texting to nothing. He can contact me if he’s interested.
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