First date horror story

haha you are funny! Here in Europe we split the bill, I never expect a free dinner. And going to the bathroom is not considered dodgy. Peeing you pants on the other hand… Nevermind.

Is the question “can you please say what are you expectations from a Tinder date?” for real? :D

I decided not to respond anything. And of course that going to his hotel room was out of the question, it sounds like a recipe to get sexually abused.

Anyway, I wonder why he lives in a hotel, if in theory he is from the city I live in. So many questions :D I am glad I still have both of my kidneys.

I am from Europe, I know about the paying rituals

when you ask for a bill, you dont go promptly (and conveniently) to the bathroom :)

yes, my question was for real: I would really like to know what do you expect from a Tinder date?

tbh, your horror date story has so many holes as to your intentions, imho :)

Okey, fair enough :)

I am not attacking, I just wanted to be sure about your own involvment in this fiasco. Like it was a good date, in your own words “The conversation was brilliant, this guy seemed to be smart, well educated and a nice person in general.”

then you decided you have to go home because you are tired. That combined with the leaving for the bathroon when the bill probably could arrive maybe made your date think you wanted just a free dinner.

Its wonderful you had so many good tinder dates full of fun and got home safely.

I dont know what Pandora is on about because the most striking thing about this story how totally crazy this guy is. Lets assume he has a job and some money but he decides to leave when you are in the bathroom. Haha, really crazy. But he was In a hotel so probably not single either

Why have you not blocked this loser and why are you wasting time and energy asking about him ? Some people are just douchebags for no particular rhyme or reason. With tinder and most online dating theres the good, the bad and the ugly. You defo dodged a bullet. Move on already. Dont not waste another minute of your life on this. And block him. Hes potenially dangerous if he cant keep his behaviour reasonable for one night.

The OP isn’t asking for advice! She very clearly said it was a story she was sharing for fun!

The OP did nothing wrong and its weird to be suggesting she wanted a free meal!!!

Just because its Tinder doesnt mean its going to be awful…

OP you definitely dodged a bullet and i cannot believe the audacity of him acting normal after being so rude and expecting a hook up!!

I posted because I think it is a good story to share, maybe some other girls will learn something from my experience. I read this forum regularly and except from some visious people around here, I find anewmode an excellent place to exchange the opinions about dating and love life. Some people just need to vent after an unpleasant experience and you actually can find a lot of support here. I did.

I haven’t blocked him, because I see no reason to do so. I am sure I won’t be hearing from him again, because he is probably after someone else now.

I usually have good experience with tinder dates. Never met anyone that I wanted to be with in a long term, but I went out with many interesting men that I kept contact with as friends.

Thank you Newbie, I also think that it could have gotten worse.

I think there’s a lot to break down here. First I find nothing wrong with your behavior. If you got tired, or needed to pee, you have a right to go home any damn moment you please and you certainly have the right to go to the loo OMG.

But I think it’s important to point out, even if you had only had a coffee date – it may have only prolonged you seeing the real him. There cases, very widely publicized, of women being sexually assaulted on 2nd and 3rd dates (and no – the two I’m thinking of were NOT home dates). The point is – you make a good point to watch for all kinds of signs no matter how much time spent. This guy gave the following flags –

-He made you feel bad because you were tired
-He took off instead of talking to you about splitting bill
-He then actually left without paying
-He later acted like nothing at all happened (because food and drink pay for themselves right?)
-He then tried to convince you to be alone with him in a hotel

These are all things women need to pick up on – no matter how many dates in. I like to ask for a phone call to plan the date. It helps my spidey senses and helps me know if I’ll be attracted. It’s been 99.9% accurate thus far.

The last two guys I asked for a call – the first one I really liked. But “something” felt a little off. Couldn’t put my finger on, so met up for just quick drink. Wonderful time. He then ghosted me after asking me out for dinner the next Saturday. I now think he was married. The other one — convo went great until I told him I needed to hang up and sleep. He kept pushing to continue talking. I noted he did not care about my feelings. I genuinely TIMED him and how many times I tried to end the call. (I could have ended it, don’t you worry – I just decided to experiment.) I outright stated or hinted 3x in 25 min – he kept jabbering on. I decided not to meet him or text him anymore. I was right. He was a creep. He continued to text me multiple times over a course of weeks and weeks.

Maintaining a balance of light hearted and trusting, while also always assessing for your safety is a balancing act women just have to practice. I hope this forum can be encouraging and educational and not judgmental or cruel. We can benefit from supporting each other.

T from NY I was wondering what would happend if instead of me, he would have asked out someone more fragile. I am naive, I am fully aware of that, but as soon as I realise that something is wrong…
The thought that there are women out there that can end up in a really scary situation, and I am not talking about him only, makes me anxious. I have a sister that is 12 years older than me and online dating scams are just your daily routine, if you use those apps (the most popular profile here in Belgium is of an american soldier that falls in love with you then gets sent to Syria/Iran/Afganistan and after asks about money to come back and meet you).

“I hope this forum can be encouraging and educational and not judgmental or cruel. We can benefit from supporting each other.”

In my opinion this forum is really supporting, but I have read it since 2013, so I kind of learned how to separate the grain from the chaff. However, many times I have seen someone coming here and asking for an advice and then getting bashed by some frustrated trolls. Lack of moderation, methinks.

I have another first date story.

Well we didn’t actually make it to the first date.

I was out with friends and they introduced me to a male friend who happened to be at the same restaurant as us.

We talked, he walked me to my car, and when I tried to leave he put himself halfway through my vehicle through the driver’s side window and asked me to grab coffee with him.

I declined as it was late.

My friend gave him my telephone number and he text me (it’s now like 2am at this point. He’s asked me several questions about my dating history. I replied it’s late and I have to go to bed.

I learned he was fresh out of divorce so I cut him some slack. But, I didn’t think it was a good idea to proceed with a date.

The dude’s a cheap-o creep-o.