This topic contains 15 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Clara 1 month ago.
September 23, 2020 at 2:55 pm #814620
I matched with a guy on a dating site early in the pandemic. Our conversation was amazing, he definitely wanted to impress me and we texted back and forth loads. It was excited. Then he started becoming slow at replying, taking days to reply but still enthusiastic.
We went on our first date and had an amazing connection. I thanked him and he said he’d love to see me again. Then he went silent for a few weeks. I asked him if he wanted to meet up again and he agreed and we did some fun activities for a whole day but I had to arrange it. There was a great connection, like we’ve known each other forever. AT the end of the date he said ‘I’ll be in touch soon to arrange something else.’ He was a bit vague but I was excited.
But 2 weeks after our date, he never got back in touch. I feel really sad because I had hope for this one. I also noticed hes been quite active back on the dating site. Do I just need to be patient and its normal for guys to keep their options open at this stage?September 23, 2020 at 3:06 pm #814621
He’s just not that into you.. always pay attention to a guys actions over his words. Him not reaching out shortly after your first date was his way of telling you his interest is low. Try not to get too invested in one guy until he shows you he’s on the same page. Always keep your options open while single!September 23, 2020 at 3:10 pm #814631
Yes but is low interest this early on necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he’s just unsure? Should I text him 2 weeks later or should I wait for him?September 23, 2020 at 3:42 pm #814634
Low interest early on is a very bad thing. Don’t kid yourself.
You may have thought you two had “an amazing connection”, but this guy obviously did not feel the same way. If he did, he would be following up with you, arranging dates regularly, and keeping in touch with you via texts and phone calls. And that’s OK, it’s just how dating is. Sometimes we meet someone and we like them a lot more than they like us, and it just doesn’t work out. That’s life.
This guy did not even ask you for a 2nd date. You asked him, and had to arrange the date. Since then (2 weeks ago) you have not heard a peep from him, and he is active on the dating sites. That is telling you loud and clear that he’s not interested.
Let this one go, when you click with a guy who is excited to date you, you will know it. It’ll be fun and exciting, he will plan dates, he’ll reach out to you and make you feel wanted. Don’t cling to a guy who isn’t interested.September 23, 2020 at 3:55 pm #814636
Dating in covid19 year really sucks. You get to texting but cant meet and before you know it, you feel chemistry and a bond. But most guys dont bond the same way. They see chatting as a way to kill time and you cant gauge his real interest since you couldnt date. So then the two dates happened. You thought they went great, maybe he did too, but nog enough to poke his interest. So i would not contact him again. If a guy wants a women he goes straight for it. You would have known. This is not your man.September 23, 2020 at 4:01 pm #814638
Does it mean I said something wrong? Or I’m a boring person? Our conversations were really intellectual and deep but he didn’t really ask me any questions about me even though I have loads of interests. Maybe he is interested but covid slowing things down?September 23, 2020 at 4:12 pm #814639
How can we know if youre boring? I would go with it went fine, but i mean you dont want to date every guy you had a nice time with right? For a guy he would have to find you sexually attractive plus an x factor. But you may have texted a lot with this guy at first. Even his texting slowed down fast, so my best guess is he is not interested in looking for serious or he has loads of dates. You shouldnt care or take it personalSeptember 23, 2020 at 4:20 pm #814641
How do I tell if he was sexually attracted to me? Would he have gone on a few dates if he didn’t find me sexually attractive ?September 23, 2020 at 4:22 pm #814642
If he didn’t ask questions about you, he was not interested in you. It’s that simple. Don’t fret about whether you were boring or said something wrong. I’m sure you’re not boring and said nothing wrong. The chemistry was just not there for him, like Newbie said.
Newbie is also right that women bond through texting/chatting but men really don’t. So you texted a lot before you met, and you thought it meant you had a great connection. But men don’t bond that way. He just saw it as conversation. When you actually met, he obviously didn’t feel personal chemistry with you since he didn’t even ask for a 2nd date or follow up about seeing you again.
Don’t overthink it. There’s nothing wrong with you. This guy just didn’t feel a spark, it happens that way sometimes. Anyway why would you want to date a guy who doesn’t ask you questions about yourself? You can do better than that!September 23, 2020 at 4:24 pm #814643
We cross posted. You went on 2 dates, the second one of which was arranged for and planned by you. So it would not have happened if you had not pushed for it.
Two dates is nothing. I think no, he probably didn’t feel sexual attraction towards you. A man will go on one or two dates with you to see if there’s chemistry and sexual attraction. Obviously in his case, there was not. No big deal! There are plenty of guys out there who WILL be attracted to you. Don’t worry about it, just keep dating.September 23, 2020 at 4:29 pm #814645
Also– just so you don’t feel bad about yourself. I have been on both sides of the aisle in this situation.
I’ve gone on dates with guys that I really liked, and thought we had tons in common and a great connection, and never heard from them again.
On the flip side, I’ve gone on dates with guys that were really into me, and I felt nothing for them– not because they were unattractive or stupid, on the contrary they were nice looking guys, but I just felt no sexual chemistry when them whatsoever.
It’s just the way dating works. When you meet a guy you truly click with, you’ll both be on the same page and you won’t be wondering if he’s attracted to you.September 23, 2020 at 5:40 pm #814651
He’s just sent me a lovely message to check in 2 weeks later. What do I make of this? Should I reply enthusiastically or should I be blunt ?September 23, 2020 at 5:47 pm #814652
It seems like his interest is only vague and that you are way more into him than he is into you. That could be a slippery slope. I wouldn’t reply enthusiastically nor be blunt, I’d just answer shortly and without advancing the convo, and then let things fade out naturally. It seems like he only sees you as one of his many options, so you might get hurt if you continue to invest in him more than he does.September 23, 2020 at 7:14 pm #814659
You are probably too deep in to be blunt and i wouldnt be blunt. You want to go out with him again so say Yes, that would be nice. What would you have in mind?
But remember there is a high change he will flake. Mirror guys. If youre an option, he is an option to you tooSeptember 24, 2020 at 12:53 am #814679
T from NY
I think the most important questions to ask here are none of the ones you’ve asked us. Who cares what this guy thinks of you, if he thinks you’re boring, if he felt he had a good date with you??? The question REALLY IS – why are you still attracted to a guy that blows hot and cold? And mostly cold at that. Why excited or remotely interested in a dude where half a month can pass before you get a small text from him? There is a great need here to ask – why would this type or unavailable man be so interesting to you that you wrote into a forum for advice about it?
I mean these inquiries literally. Because it took me an amount of time to understand the reason I was having no luck with dating was because I was CHOOSING to “like”, be attracted to, spend my time pining over – men who weren’t emotionally available because I WAS EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. It was the time when I was afraid to seek what I really wanted. When you love yourself better you’ll STOP being interested in men who make you guess, men who are inconsistent, men who do not invest in courting you. You will be turned off. You might be disappointed, bummed. For like – an hour. Then you’ll go paint your nails or make popcorn or do yoga or something. Really. You won’t.put.up.with.it.
Read Ask Polly online and Baggage Reclaim online. They are the Bible’s for self love and gaining courage around seeking after the relationship you really want. First with yourself. Then ONLY with men worthy of you.September 24, 2020 at 9:10 am #814707
I am sure you are a sweet and interesting girl. This guy is not into you. Plain and simple. The quicker you accept it and take him for face value – the better. It has nothing to do with the pandemic , he is not trying to see you because he is not into you that way.