Being the Other Woman

You said, “Please tell me the good dose of reality that you would suggest? I am open to learning how to make my brain and my heart work together. I know the reality, that is the hard part.”

Your heart is being fed by your mind. In your mind somewhere is a station that says, “Keep your heart open.” I suggest you internally talk with this station – it is unconscious and telling you that this is what is good for you.

Everyday in the morning and at night I want you to internally say to yourself, “This situation is not good for me and only hurts me, I want out.” I want you to say this 10 times to yourself in the morning and 10 times before you go to bed at night. I want you to mean it when you say it too…think of the pain when you say this.

Within a couple of weeks you will be stronger and your heart will feel freer…then you can come to a decision. This will work since you are retraining the unconscious “love” that you feel in a bad situation…and the smartest part of you already knows this and will help you with your heart. This is step by step how you do it.

RCS – great advice. Thank you. I believe you are correct in saying that my heart is not in-line with my head. There are so many responses here, and I appreciate them all, but so many sound so angry about this subject. Either they , themselves were the other woman, or they were cheated on by a man. I did not set out to hurt anyone and I honestly believe he did not either. I did not know about their relationship for a whole year, except that he kept telling me they were friends. I was married to a cop for 21 years, you would think I would have realized something (the man I am seeing lives in another town, so it is hard to see day to day). When the first real lie that I was aware of hit me, I then became more aware of words and actions, and then eventually became aware of her, and their relationship. I trusted him at first, so I fell in love. I do believe it is real love on my part.
Just because I am older then a few of you, does not mean that I am less vulnerable or tougher. I AM trying to understand this in my head so I can get out. Believe me, it is easier said then done. I will work on repeating the verbal words over and over to retrain my heart. Yes, I am scared, and afraid of being lonely,, but I more afraid of not having him in my life. Sticky situation at any age.

VR, you have to make the choice that feels most peaceful to you. Forget all the people who are spreading negativity and nasty energy. When people tell you things like what I am quoting below,remember that this is just that one person’s TOTALLY NEGATIVE AND SELF DEFEATING VIEW and it must not be listened to or absorbed in your mind…

“So while he may choose you, always know that your slot of the “other woman” is now open and ready to be filled again.”

Instead of the above statement, I suggest you plant this statement in your mind and use it as AN AFFIRMATION for yourself to get the love of your life:

“God is going to ensure I am happy and will never have to worry about my man ever cheating on me!”

And no I”m not negative or being self defeating…I don’t know where you got that. I’m starting to think that’s just what you say about everyone who disagrees with being the other woman. I just gave my opinion dear, and I hope she finds whatever happiness she wants whether its with that man or another. But my goodness, no need to attack anyone who doesn’t agree with you Misty.

Just for clarity,

I am not attacking anyone. If anyone feels attacked it is probably because they are in denial of reality at least in this particular situation. It’s kind of like the saying “if the shoe fits….”

All I am really saying though is negativity and negative energy are very insidious.

Telling another person, “always know that your slot of the “other woman” is now open and ready to be filled again.” is rather demeaning and not nice at all.

Calling out someone who couches hate in nice words, KNOWINGLY OR UNKNOWINGLY is not a sin or being mean. It is simply telling the truth.

If your even writing here about your situation then you know ITS WRONG!
tut means you are questioning it it your head and don’t know what to do – how can you be with a man who lied to your face? that is just so wrong – if he lies about this he will lie about anything and you will believe him
I agree with Lenore – have some self respect!
you may be in deep with this man but run as fast as you can – he has lied to notably you but the other woman a well – he’s man who is having the time of his life sleeping with 2 woman and not giving a crap about what he’s doing to your feelings