Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Am I overreacting?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 2 years, 4 months ago by
AngieBaby.
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Verano
Hi, I’m dating a guy and so far so good, but I have something annoying me. Some days we can’t see each other, so those days he texts me, he usually starts texting when he starts work at 8 in the morning, and we keep exchanging texts randomly.
The thing is that sometimes I notice that he says goodbye to me with any excuse like saying he has a lot of work but he stays online.
I know him well enough to know that he is not cheating or something like that, he probably just stays talking with his friends, but it still anoys me a lot that he tells me he has a lot of work to stay on.
I would like to know your opinion, am I overreacting? sometimes I think it is normal he gets tired of exchanging messages with me, but at the same time it kinda makes me mad when he says he has work and what he does is staying online.
Raven
Yes, you are overreacting…
How do you know that he’s not really working?
Sil
Because he stays online. I talk about whatsapp.
I would not be mad if he just said goodbye, but him saying he has a lot of work and staying online piss me off.
I was about to tell him something, but I would have to recognize I was checking on him lately, the first time I noticed he was saying goodbye to stay online was out of casuality, but recently I was checking on him and it is turning into an habit.
Rose
I won’t call it an overreaction because you haven’t “reacted” yet. You’re just wondering why he would tell you he’s busy but doesn’t seem to be busy. At least you are aware that he wants to take some space and talk to other people or just want to browse through online and doesn’t necessarily want to chat with anyone. My advice is, he doesn’t know how to tell you he wants some space, so if you know he’s not cheating then try to give him that space and not text so much. Let him miss you and be busy too until you meet again. If you’re both talking so much you will burn each other out too quickly and before you know it you will run out of things to say. If you naturally have a conversation going then by all means have fun but if it feels like you’re figuring out what to say to have a conversation then rather let that be a time for some space between you.
Raven
Do you really want to start something over something so benign?
Maddie
You’re seeing it as rejection, but it’s not. He probably is focusing his full attention on you and being present when you’re chatting and then has other stuff he needs to do too. I’d say goodbye if I needed to do other stuff and couldn’t give someone my full attention who deserved it, but doesn’t mean I wouldn’t take breaks to check messages here and there or reply to something casual and quick. Why do you think it bothers you so much that you are compulsively checking? Have you felt like a second choice to someone in the past?
Maddie
*take breaks to check messages and respond casually to other friends and family who I’m not engaged in a whole conversation with.
AngieBaby
OK so are you “Verano” or “Sil”?? I hate to be the one who always busts people for posting under different names, but it just kind of jumps out at me. FYI, it’s OK to post on different topics but it’s against the site rules to post under different names. The site admin will ask you to pick one and stick to it.
Past that, given this post and the other post you made about not liking his profile pic and being pissed off he won’t change it… I think you’re getting hung up on really petty things that as Maddie said on the other post point to a bigger underlying problem in the relationship. Or you’re insecure, so you’re being overly controlling.
Also, just because someone shows on an app as “online” doesn’t mean they’re actually sitting right there online. They may have left it open unknowingly.
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