Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Why Do Guys "Ghost"/"Houdini"?
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by
Raven.
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Jackie
Hey ladies,
This hasnt happened to me in a while, but I always see this happening to other women on this site and I really dont understand but its always bothered me when it does happen to me, so perhaps some of you guys get it.
Why do guys “ghost”/”houdini”? It is because they have bad intentions with a girl or is it just a guy thing to do?
I personally don’t understand how any person could just dissapear from another person’s life and then just reappear as if nothing had happened. Do guys just think we’re dumb and wont notice? If a guy does this, should he ever be trusted?
talllady
It is a mix of cowardice, not wanting to hurt someones feelings and selfishness. As to why they reappear – it is usually for an ego stroke or short lived curiosity. And no, they cannot be trusted and at min should be called out for the behavior….
Lane
Because it EASIER for them to ghost than it is to tell someone “they just aren’t into you.” I do it too because its awkward to tell a guy why your not into them especially if their really into you. I actually PREFER a guy to ghost so I don’t have to waste another second of my time on them.
I go into the dating process with ZERO EXPECTATIONS that will evolve into anything. The only measurement I use to gauge their interest is how often they initiate CALLS (not texts) and take me out on dates. If they stop calling then I immediately know their interest level and continue to live my life normally.
I refuse to obsess about men and go into it “one date at a time”. For instance I met a guy Saturday night when I was out with a group of friends. I went outside to cool off after dancing and he approached me, started talking, asked for my number and then I went back in not expecting to ever hear from him again. Well he CALLED the next evening, and actually said “I know I’m suppose to wait 48 hours, but I couldn’t wait that long”. I laughed and responded “seriously, there’s a man code of how long you need to contact a lady?” He set up a place/time to meet this Sunday, however all I know at THIS POINT is that he’s interested, but I have no clue whether or not I will like him or vice versa beyond this.
IF he doesn’t call again I have my answer, if I don’t accept another date or respond to him he has his—easier that way.
Raven
Hi Jackie,
I personally have done both…I prefer the straight forward approach… but it hurts feelings. When you tell a guy, it ain’t happening…
I’ve also ghosted & have felt like a heel (but not for too long, after).
Guys who ghost don’t get a second chance. Guys I’ve ghosted, I never see again.
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