Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › What's happened here??
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by
mama.
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anonesk244
I’m soooo confused. Made contact again with a guy I met years and years ago over social media and we begun texting. This was about 3 weeks ago and since then we have been texting a looooot. Hes been very chatty, sending long texts, telling me funny stories, asking me questions and seeming genuinely interested, texting first, continuing a conversation all the time etc. We seemed to have loads in common and things were going really well. For some reasons (covid)!we can’t meet up just yet but he seemed really willing and saying how much he’s looking forward to seeing me.
But the last few days have confused the hell out of me!!! His texts have become so much more blunt, he’s taking hours at a time to reply, he just does not seem interested in the slightest anymore? A few weeks ago he seemed a little off and he said he was tired, and if anything was up he’d much rather be straight with me. So whys he not doing this now?
I have no idea how to approach this cos it’s really really upset me. I don’t want to ask him in case it’s something else I don’t know about, but I also don’t want to seem uninterested – I’m just sooooo confused it’s really hurt meNewbie
You are way overinvested in a guy that you are only texting with. You cant ask if there is someone else. That makes you look crazy because it shows you give this more meaning than it is. If he was full on and its wearing down now, then it looks like he is a flakey. Not really looking for something real. Or he realizes that a lot of texting and no face to face is not an interesting future prospect. Covid19 does allow more texting and less dating but as a woman its important to protect yourself from getting attached before you date. Wear your covid 19 protective fake texting intimacy suit and it will be fine
Newbie
Sorry i misread that part about you asking him whats going on. So i take that back but mirror him
Lane
Its because he doesn’t have to spend any of this time or money taking you out because he knows far too much about you. He got bored of you and most likely found a new replacement. Bet you 10-1 its his MO and does this with lots of gals like you, because hey—its cheap, free and easy to do v. spending one’s TIME and $ on ladies he has no desire to actually date but enjoys all the attentions ladies like you give him and all he has to do is type on his phone.
Look up the word “indulgence.” You over indulged with a stranger who can give two peeps about you. Men who take you out and spend their time and $$$ on a lady are showing not only interest but making an actual investment. Typing on a phone is cheap and lazy, so unless you want to phonedate cheap and lazy guys then keep doing what your doing.
In a nutshell, STOP using texting to meet guys. Do you want to date your phone? If so then keep doing what your doing but expect a lot of men getting bored and bouncing within two to three weeks which is what this guy did. If you want to date men in real life, then get off your darn phone and talk only to guys when your out on a date.
Look up “e-tethering” because you were e-tethered. Bad rut and habit to get into so I would stop over-indulging any man you haven’t met in real life from hereon. And even then, leave some darn mystery and intrigue as that’s the FUNNEST part of dating is getting to learn new things while you are out and about spending time with each other. Just saying.
mama
You said there were reasonS (plural) you can’t meet up, Covid being one of them. What are the other reasons? Or was that just a typo?
It’s really hard to get any decent relationship going when all you’re doing is texting. It’s hard to build any kind of authentic connection. Also, in my experience great texters are usually all talk and don’t really back up their words with actions. He may be losing interest and until you’re able to meet up, it’s probably going to fade away.
I love Newbie’s phrase… “Wear your covid 19 protective fake texting intimacy suit”. Just pull back as well and remember to keep yourself from going down that rabbit hole again until you can meet up.
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