What went wrong here? Should I reach back out?

What went wrong here is you’re overanalyzing and over-investing after only one date. You don’t know him yet. When I was younger, I believed having epic long first dates and constant immediate communication was a great thing: it seemed to mean sparks flew and interest was solid. What I learned as I got older is, that’s not actually true. When you can’t get enough of each other right from the start, there’s a ton of fantasy and projection going on, and a guy who is too hot and heavy immediately when he barely knows you either can go cold just as fast because it’s not really about you, or he wants sex. That doesn’t mean strong immediate connections aren’t possible, but they need to be followed up on with consistency (he asks you out again for the next week without you prompting) and without being totally rushed (rushing early is false intimacy based on fantasy). The fact he’s going hot but then beating around the bush is on HIM, it’s nothing you did, and it doesn’t necessarily have to do with another woman. It does mean he’s likely not in it to be immediately serious, because a guy who has his stuff together and is emotionally mature isn’t confusing about what he wants.

But you also need to take a step back, recognize that you barely know anything about who he really is yet, and you need to stop trying to control and steer the situation. This is the time to lean back and observe who he is, listening when he shows you. There was nothing wrong with what you said about your schedule. He’s an adult and could have responded with a clear plan. If he’s a guy who goes on a 6 hour date, messages you obsessively for a week, then drops off without confirming a second date, that’s on him not you, and simply shows he’s not worth investing in yet.

“I just didn’t think it would be this hard if two people wanna see each other again.” It’s not this hard when a guy is worth dating, trust me. When a guy has his sh!t together and wants to date a woman, he asks her out, it really isn’t complicated.

I 100% agree with Maddie. I actually saw the 6 hour first date as a red flag. Maddie explained it in a very articulate way so I won’t repeat what she said.

Just know that a guy who is emotionally healthy and ready to date is consistent and doesn’t give mixed signals. This guy is blowing hot and cold all over the place. Healthy dating is slow, consistent and steady; it isn’t up and down, hot and cold.

I also agree that you’re overinvested after only 1 date. You don’t know this guy. I understand having a nice date and wanting to see someone again, but you can’t be overly invested in the outcome so early on.

Thanks all for the advice. I knew in my gut not to send a double text because I also have been through this so many times before with men, but hearing my few guy friends say men are forgetful and it’s not that deep, and that I need to suggest a place and or time/ be more assertive really threw me off. One of my guy friends and I actually got into a fight about it and his advice was so aggressive it made 0 sense. I never sent another text and now it’s been silence for 3 days which does sting a bit I won’t lie.

I was making a lot of assumptions thinking he would just put it together how I would like to see him again but he kept oddly dodging it when it was pretty clear. Which is a dead giveaway. It’s been a very long time since I felt attraction, chemistry and had a lot of things in common with someone like that, so was more upset how he couldn’t have texted me back “No this doesn’t work for me”. I’ve been on six dates in the past few months and none of them have made it a second date either due to mutual disinterest, disinterest from either me or him, or I didn’t feel a spark. Just a little bummed that’s all. Was mostly checking to make sure I didn’t do anything abhorrently wrong, but I have a feeling even if I didn’t mention my days off, this still would have happened and I would have gotten frustrated with why he wasn’t asking me out. So. Just happened earlier than I thought.

Also I had no idea what I would even double text – it would’ve just been bait to get him to reply? Which also would have been super bad. I know when men are interested or at least being polite they will respond, sending another message would have been pointless and desperate. Also he is four years older than me he knows better lol. Thanks all again

O and another thing. Post our third meeting, he did ask me later vide text when we chatted as to why i didnt kiss him when it was obvious that we still had that amazing spark between us. So well he knew the effect he had on me but wasnt intrstd in anythng more so he didnt pursue..

There are no answers sometimes so well to let things be. :)