what is he looking for?


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  • #784299 Reply
    Newyorker

    I have been talking to a guy for a few months now. We live in different cities (I live on the East coast and he lives on the West Coast). We met while I was on a work trip in his city – things started off physically and we kept in touch a little bit when I went back home. Any time we’re in the same town (I’m usually only there for a day or two at a time) we meet up and have a good time – I started developing feelings for him and was honest with him about it. He told me he liked me but wasn’t looking for anything serious – I was fine with this as I was seeing other men and was always back and forth between cities. But I stopped our physical relationship and said that we should just be platonic friends. He was fine with this and we remained friends (he is always supportive of my work and is there if I need anything or just need someone to talk to and puts up with my bad moods etc). But I am recently moving full time to the city that he lives in. Since he found out he has been the one to start chasing me (constantly texting and reaching out). He also revealed that he still sees me in that way (physically) and only agreed to be friends to make me happy. I have been quite cold with him – ignoring his messages/taking some time to reply AND have made it clear that I do not want anything casual and I am looking for something more serious (not necessarily with him, but in general). I am not sure what his intentions are now that he is making a serious effort. Will he just seek to restart a purely physical relationship OR now that we will be in the same city do you think he will want to pursue something more meaningful? If it is the first option I would rather just ignore him and move on. Please let me know your thoughts!

    #784301 Reply
    K

    Ask HIM. This isn’t a psychic hotline. No one here can answer this. It’s your relationship. TALK to him rather than trying to second guess him behind his back. Just be prepared to walk away if he still only wants casual sex.

    #784305 Reply
    Andrea

    You’ve already put yourself into the category of FWB. He doesn’t see you as girlfriend material.

    #784309 Reply
    LaFrance Thibodeaux

    I’m with Andrea 💯..If you’re looking for anything serious dont give up the goods first & then expect to be taken serious..He told you he still sees you in the physical aspect but only agreed to be friends to make you happy..What does that even mean?..

    #784310 Reply
    Colleen

    You can’t demand he become your boyfriend. Just because you slept with him doesn’t mean he’s obligated to now change direction and court you.

    Won’t you be awfully busy moving and learning the neighborhood and working etc? But all you can think about is getting a one night stand to suddenly love you?

    #784314 Reply
    Elsa

    He told you what he was looking for in the very beginning :)
    I’d still ask tho. But I think you already know the answer.

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