Weekend away for a second date??

Jippity,
First and foremost you deserve to be treated like a lady period.
Always allow a man to do so and you should expect nothing less.
Drum that into your head until it sticks.

Now onto this guy my answer to this weekend away would be a no. You’ve only had one date with him. While I understand lots of emails and regular conversation makes him feel familiar he’s still a stranger. Please remember that.

If it were me I’d say thanks but no thanks and ask that he plan a different date.

Lastly it’s too much too soon. Also if you’re looking for something serious the conflicting schedules appears to be an issue. Either find ways to see each other a little more often or try dating someone with a schedule that works with yours.

Just my take on this one.

Hi Khadija

Thanks. OK, so it’s both then lol.

I am trying to drum that in to my head. It’s part of working on my self-esteem. It’s working, albeit slowly. Old me would have been so freaked out by him pulling chairs out for me that I didn’t go on to have dinner with him on the first date!

The idea behind his suggestion was to make up for the fact that we haven’t gotten to see each other, rather than to make a grand romantic gesture, I think. Kind of “Ok, we can both do that weekend? Let’s see as much of each other as possible then”. Kind of like an LDR, although we’re not very far from each other.

I wouldn’t be at all concerned with my safety. I know of him professionally, so I know where he works and I know some of his colleagues. He’s a nice, normal guy.

But, I think you’re right about it being too soon. I can’t shake this uneasiness, even though it sounds lovely.

The schedule thing is temporary, with an end in sight after June (we are both mature students studying & working in similar professions, both taking extra modules this term, and both of our studies slow down a lot after those exams). Otherwise I would write it off completely.

I am, and have been since the first date, dating others. Nobody who I’d want to see again though and the dating sites are offering up nothing but lunatics ATM.

Last guy I got chatting to sent a text yesterday “my mum told me that I shouldn’t get involved with a woman with a child from another man, but I’d still like to meet you and her, if only for the experience”.

Um. No. Firstly, my daughter doesn’t meet my dates, only my boyfriends. Secondly, she’s a child, not a pet dolphin. We don’t offer experiences.

I actually wouldn’t say I’m overly in to this uber romantic guy. It feels very.. I don’t know.. low intensity? Slow-burning? Not sure how to describe it. But I’m not giddy about him, or watching out for his texts or anything like that.

Darling nomatter how appealing this offer might be to you..a weekend with him is too soon..plan for a different date and get to know him better first

Hey, i (like everyone else) thinks it is a bit too early in your relationship to spend a whole weekend with this guy you barely know. I think you should first find out about his intentions, how did he imply he wants to share a bed? Did he imply it like sesually or more just sleeping in the same bed? You can find out what type of guy he is through this.

I know you have had a lot of communication but I am a little nonplussed here.

Where does he get off with this weekend crap….sorry but that is low value for a woman.

Let him know you are high value…you don’t sleep in the same bed as some random guy.

Look, if you let him set the fast pace he will and everything will go up in smoke…

But, I care that you do not end up in a furnace….slow way down…date the man…in public places….let him show you more of those famous manners first.

Not wanting to scare you with this story but I assure you it is 100% true. A friend of mine dated a (seemingly) lovely man, kind, gentle, had a good job and was great with her kids. She had been dating him almost a year, met all his friends and family and he met hers. Everyone loved him. Just as they were about to move in together they went away for a weekend. They had some sort of tiff and he completely lost it, beat her up, attempted to rape her and left her almost for dead in the hotel room!!! I know this is an extreme case and I’m not saying it would ever happen to you but she had known this guy for 12 mths and you’ve been on one date with your guy. Please don’t risk your safety just because he seems nice. Stick to restaurants and public places until you can be completely sure of him.
If you both have a free weekend and don’t live far from one another you can still spend quality time together and have dates each day or night without going away together. Please stay safe

In addition to what the ladies have already said, I can already see your next post about what an awesome weekend it was, but you’re sad and confused because he’s now distant. Would be too much too soon. Set the pace. Men will get carried away then retreat when they feel they can’t keep it up.