Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › Two different men, two different feelings
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 2 years, 9 months ago by
Jane.
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Jane
I started seeing someone more seriously and I told my FWB about it. Since then he been contacting me every single day (it used to be weekly or monthly). He would ask general questions about my b/f and then hinted about “wild” times he have with various women over weekends or during week.
We were exclusive and neither of us been with someone else for years and suddenly he is seeing all that women (which I doubt). We know each other for over 20 years and we are best friends. It just he doesn’t act now like a friend.
I know that I should either ask him why he is doing all that or just cut every contact but problem is to me he is more than FWB and over the years I developed feelings for him.
I even started dating this other guy just to get FBW out of my mind.
Which way to go and what to do?Peggy
I think if he wanted more/had feelings, he would have mentioned it/asked you for a relationship, by now. The new guy may have pushed him a bit to consider how he feels, but he did not “declare” himself even so,so I would forget any notion he cares for you as you do for him. He may be missing easy sex and nothing else or thought he could always have you on a “string”.
So move on from him and do not hang out as friends if you hope for more. Also, if you are using the new guy to try to trigger jealousy in the other guy, that is not very nice or right. Only keep dating him if you actually like him romantically.T from NY
Just because a guy acts jealous or spends time with you doesn’t mean he’s serious about investing in you when it doesn’t match his words. There really does have to be action and words, consistently, over several months length of time for you to know a mans true interest. Anything else – like what you’ve described with your FWB – is just a man trying to get his ego fed.
Jane
I did asked him why he is doing all that and he said that he is just joking and kidding me. And actually like me and would never hurt me. Yet, he is talking about all those adventures with other women. He say that I’m overreacting and stopped talking to me.
We are in mid 40 and this is how grown man behave?Peggy, I started seeing other guy just to get FWB off my mind not to make him jealous because didn’t expect FWB would get jealous. I guess I was wrong.
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