Texting in early stages


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  • #864485 Reply
    Samantha

    I recently met a guy on hinge about 1 month ago and we have been out together twice. (Both 30) First date was a really thoughtful picnic where he brought games, wine and food. Second date was at a steakhouse. When we were first texting on hinge before the first date he was texting every day or every other day and after the first date it has definitely gone down and sometimes I have to initiate. After our second date we went back to his place and fooled around and then he drove me home. He texted me the next day but nothing too much. Since our first date our texts are much shorter. We don’t have a next date setup and I haven’t heard from him in 2 days. He has seemed very interested. Is it possible he’s just slowed down texting since we met and assumes we will see each other again soon? OR did he realize he’s interested but not overly interested and that’s why he isn’t overly enthusiastic?

    #864488 Reply
    Tallspicy

    We have no idea. Just sit tight and watch. You should be seeing him consistently on his suggestion once a week for the first month and then it should escalate. If you are not seeing each other every week assume he is not that into you. Just let him do the work. It is not a great sign there is no date and no contact. Assume he is gone and decide if the work he is doing is ok if he comes back.

    #864497 Reply
    Steph

    I’m sorry but it sounds like he’s not interested.

    #864616 Reply
    Liz Lemon

    When you “fooled around” at his place on the 2nd date, did you have sex? No judgement, just asking because it’s possible he lost interest when you slept with him so soon. That does happen with guys.

    When’s the last time you actually saw him in person? I agree with the other posters that it doesn’t look good. He would not slow down texting after 2 dates because he assumes he’ll see you again soon- no way, not at this stage. A guy who is interested would be escalating his interactions, or at least keeping the same level of communication– not decreasing it. No plans for a 3rd date and 2 days with no contact (not even a text to say hi) is a bad sign. Just wait and see if he reaches out, that’s all you can do at this point. If you don’t hear from him very soon and he doesn’t make plans to see you, you know his interest level is low.

    #864743 Reply
    T from NY

    I promise I promise I know it’s super easy to get excited about a guy – especially when an attraction is there. But seriously, train your brain (like really – you can totally train your brain) to mostly only be interested in guys who are making investment, being consistent and showing up. When you do this you might think fondly of that cute dude you went on cool dates with and made out with, but you’ll ALSO feel – oh well, he’s not really around lately – or even turned off when he lets too much time pass before he reaches out again.

    Remember the only way to know a man’s true interest is – to observe his actions and words over TIME. That cute date he took you on was not for YOU necessarily, but to make you like HIM. The right guy for you will not make you guess. And possibly the guy for you may move at a slower speed. Just live your life and be discerning, have your heart open and joyful but don’t let your head be easily turned.

    #865033 Reply
    Lane

    What I DO KNOW, is that a man who is seriously interested would keep YOU on his radar! If a man isn’t doing that, then you drop him off yours.

    If you have to remind a man you exist, then you don’t exist in his eyes. A truism that you need to adopt, so you don’t get ‘itchy fingers.’

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