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- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 11 months ago by
tammy.
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Jessica
Ladies,
I was seeing someone for a few months. I’d spend some weekends at him and we’d communicate all the time. It was going really well. Made me feel beautiful and sexy and things women want to feel. We’d have dinners together and sleep together a lot. I noticed he was following all these beautiful women on his Instagram and one particular woman he was liking literally all her half naked pictures. He’d be doing it while I’m sitting next to him. Didn’t think much of it at first but when I went into her profile I’d noticed all the likes. Something didn’t sit well with me. I started crying cause I felt so disrespected and made me feel I wasn’t enough. I told him he made me feel I wasn’t good enough and I left. I messaged that girl asking if something was going on and she took a screenshot of their convo. He was messaging her raving about how obsessed he is with her bikini pics while I was at his house. The day I left crying is the day he messaged her saying he hopes he’s seeing her that week. His messages to her were very sex intended. They communicated via fb. She thanked me for letting her know and all that and we’ve become mates now but I can’t get over what he’s done to me. I’ve never been hurt like this before. I keep caving and messaging him about how he’s hurt me but I still care about him. It’s been hard because I’ve been so good to this guy. I’ve cooked for him, I’ve cleaned his house, I’ve given up a warm bed so he could sleep cause his snoring kept me up and I had no blanket so froze myself, I would massage him all the time, tickle him as he loves that, the efforts I’d always do for him. I messaged him a few times this week but his message to me on Wednesday he was calling me babe and sending kisses whereas before his message would be he’s not the guy for me and I’m a lovely girl and all that jazz. He’s messed with my head so much and yesterday he blocked me. Do you ladies think he’s been doing it to not just me and this girl but others to? 36 year old man, never been married, no kids and lives on instagram following hot women. I’m not coping with the way he’s hurt me 💔
Jessica
Also, am I overreacting or being sensitive when I get upset that he’s been sleeping with me for a few months and hanging out with me but is texting other women.
Raven
@Jessica, I’m sorry you’re hurting- why you put up with this BS & disregarded YOUR needs is beyond me…
Maddie
You’re not being oversensitive, why would you try to blame yourself for this? His behavior stinks, and you can’t trust him.
You were investing too much in him, however, versus what he was giving you. That is why you feel so bad about this. You’ve lost yourself based on that list you wrote of all you’ve done for him. This is a good lesson to make sure you’re not abandoning yourself with other men in the future. There’s no need for you to be cleaning his house or freezing without covers when he has not also put you first plus both saying outright that he wants to be in a serious relationship with you and consistently following through on being fully committed to you in action over time. You be yourself, you are enough on your own to get a guy without adding all this extra effort before you’re gradually growing into a real relationship together. Relationships are about connection, not transactions. This guy isn’t worth what you have to give anyway, because a good guy will appreciate you at all stages of dating, not message half naked women.
Block him and really ask yourself the questions Raven asked you so you don’t accept an unequal situationship from anyone in the future. Let a guy earn all the extra benefits from you, but don’t give him the girlfriend experience before you’re the serious girlfriend.
mama
It really comes down to learning how to manage your emotions and expectations when you’re newly dating someone. Pace yourself and your expectations. Sorry you learned this the hard way. :(
tammy
he was never serious about you and was still playing the field whereas you seemed overinvested. while am sorry you found out this way and got hurt; it’s good that he blocked you since I doubt you wld have. despite what he did, you are still mesaging him and telling him how much you care and how much you hurt. why?? I think once you are over the hurt, you need to introspect and think on the lines mentioned in the above posts.
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