No contact long distance, will he forget me?


Home Forums Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Advice No contact long distance, will he forget me?

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  • #413082
    ash

    If i go no contact with an ex who’s long distance after been broken up neaEly 4 months, will that just make him forget all about me?

    #413083
    Liz

    Can you provide a bit more information ie. how long did you date him, what were the circumstances around the break up??

    #413089
    ash

    Dated him around 6 months and broke up because he had to go back to his home town. Was a short relationship but extremely strong. Kept in constant contact once he was home. But I’d like to try no contact now to help me but also to see if he misses me anymore or not.

    #413098
    patsytshirt

    no, if the feelings are still there, it will happen the opposite, he will think more about you if you suddenly are not around anymore after the breakup. But you also have to do other things while no contact, work on yourself, become someone better, improve your social media (he will probably stalk your instagram and facebook wondering where did you go and you should show that you are hotter than ever and have a great life without him). And when the no contact is over (30days at least) you should reconnect but it got to be really good comeback msg, you can’t just say ‘hey, how are you’. Google ‘The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship” , it’s a long article but it explains well the process.

    #413115
    redcurleysue

    Hi,

    Men do not do well with long distance so I don’t know if it is even worth trying to be honest. Most LDRs that work have an end point in sight.

    Instead of going NC I would evaluate the relationship all together…will you see each other soon…on any kind of regular basis?

    If no then I would seriously consider moving on.

    #413116
    whiskeycerebrum

    Don’t use no contact to try and manipulate his feelings. It’ll only backfire.

    #532329
    Kate

    Hey,
    Me and my ex were in a ldr for 27 months. We broke up may last year, during some fight over the phone, but we kept in touch. It was like a roller coaster, we argued we talked nicely, we met a few times even in the other country that no one expected to see the other one. I went into NC period for a month and after that we started talking a bit better. And in January, we again started to see each other, he asked to come to my city, he wanted to talk about everything. It was no pressure. We saw each other few times, he really kind and tried so much, then we didn’t see each for about two months but we talked every day started to watch some tv show together and then saw each other again about 3 times in 3 weeks and then we talked about us. He was so scared, he was shaking, he said he is happy when he is with me but he hates the distance. I said ok let’s finish this all but he didn’t want to, so we agreed to be exclusive whatever we do. And when I was with him I truly saw he tried to work on things we fought earlier and he prepared me some little surprises, actually he didn’t do that for so long in our relationship. We talked every day and he texted first and called more than I did, but then we didn’t see each other for about 3 weeks and we fought again and he broke up again the same way last year. He told me he doesn’t want to see me because he knows that if he sees me he will want to be together and he can’t and that I am his weak spot. Also, he said he doesn’t want to talk with me ever again. I tried to talk but it didn’t worked he was just saying I can’t I can’t. Now, we didn’t talk for two weeks and I don’t know how to approach him but just to talk, it’s like the same story goes again as the last year. Can you give me some advice or can you explain me what’s going on in his mind? Did he get scared because of the talk or he pissed off because of the fight? Thank you.

    #532332
    Hanna

    Out of sight out of mind is what stands out for me. In a LD relationship, you are not on his mind anywhere near as much when you live in the same city. There is no possibility of getting together when you live so far away. He gets busy with work and life. So many options online for men as well.

    When you are not communicating with him, he will look elsewhere for attention. And if he has a strong need for physical contact, I am afraid he will look closer to his home town.

    The only exception to these reasons would be if you are soul mates, but both parties have to feel this way.

    #534439
    Shae

    Hi,ladies
    I have been seeing this great guy for 4
    Months now .
    He lives hour and a half away from me and we both have kids I have one he has 4 but his are all out of high school and in college. Mine is just 15.
    My thing is only time we see each other
    Is on weekends but every weekend and talk every day text throughout the day
    We never fight or argue we get along great and I really want this to work but I know the distance will eventually get to us.
    I’m not planning on moving until my son
    Graduates and I know he doesn’t plan on moving because he’s got so many kids there.
    He talks about the future with us together but will the long distance tear us apart eventually?

    #534441
    Shae

    Sorry Ash I meant to post that in the new forum

    #534451
    Van

    He will remember you in some type of capacity; whether they are fond memories or not so much. My point, he will not forget, but he’ll remember whateva thoughts he has of you.

    #534468
    Jenny

    Do you think you’re memorable? Do you think you leave a mark? If so, you will, if not, you won’t. I don’t really know why it matters unless you still wanna be with him but then you have to ask yourself, why would I want to be with someone who’s even capable of forgetting about me?

    #559811
    Jord

    I have a similar question and I really need help with this. My senior year of high school I dated a guy who is a grade below me. We had the most amazing relationship and we both agreed that we were meant to be together. We did everything and anything together and there was soooo much love in that relationship. The summer after I graduated however he became a bit more distant and then after 9 months of dating he recently broke up with me because I am going to college two hours away and he does not want to do long distance and does not think we could handle long distance. He also said that he does not want to be sad and missing me his senior year of high school. I was very upset about this and tried to change his mind multiple times because I could not even think about losing him and our extremely special connection. He told me he still loves me but he just doesn’t want to do a LDR. However, my college is his first choice in colleges and he really wants to go there and is probably even going to apply early decision there. He said that if he ends up going to the same college as me he would want to get back together next summer which is about 9 months from now (unless something drastically changes I’m assuming). I do not know what to do. I am trying out NC because it seems like he is doing fine right now and he is even planning on asking a girl to homecoming next month and I have not even left for college yet. I am scared he is going to move on and lose feelings for me. Please help. What do I do?

    #559834
    Raven

    Jord… You have an awesome college & experience to look forward to!

    End as Friends and if it goes further later on see what happens.

    Unfortunately, it is telling that he is asking someone else to homecoming …

    #559987
    Jord

    I just don’t know if I should wait for him or not? I really want to get back together with him if the opportunity arises but I am still very scared that he is going to move on! He said he doesn’t know who he is going to ask to homecoming yet but he said he probably will ask someone since it is his senior year and his last homecoming.

    #621079
    Rob

    Hi, I met this guy by chance in December and we fell deeply for each other all was going well, we were talking every day and seeing each other at least once a month. Then out of the blue he says it hurts too much when I leave and we should no longer see each other and be friends and see what happens when I move near him. I am out of the country at the moment but move back in 3 months time. I am devastated and as I’m now only away for a short period don’t understand it. He keep liking my Facebook as I’ve started to do th pimp up Facebook every one says to do, at first I did the emotional texts but even though it’s hard I don’t do that now. I keep getting texts from him saying sorry and also please do hate me…. I did respond to that saying I would never hate him as due to the distance I didn’t want him to think that. I just need some advice here as I feel we were the right people at the wrong time and will the no contact rule work in this situation. Thanks for your help

    #697564
    Jay

    Guys I’ve been in 2 years relationship with my ex we recently brokeup is been almost a month…. to start everything was great I attempted to leave her so she was far but she said she felt I was her soul mate and somehow my soul felt the same we felt god put us two in our way… and we always talk about it we always used to say things like this “people just don’t understand how happy 2 people can be we we haven’t see other.” We always agree.. and we used god as our relationship keep stronger like “we blesses to have each other in our life” so it was always like that for 2 years accept for the last month she had so many problems on her life like way to much problems and I want to be there for her and help her and do something because I cared so much for her but she said she don’t need my help she can handle and I start seems needy like I have to help you and stuffs like that but she keep refusing get my help so always in the fights I use that word but I mean I was raised like that I guess I’m a person who like to help others but she’s a person that better stay with their problems and do it by themself… that what’s out on differences…. so we brokeup is been 3 weeks… we stay as a friends but she’s been so cold posting a lot pictures… I don’t know living the life I know I gotta do the same but it guess me be off like give up… there was a time I said is enough she’s far can’t do anything about it… I prayed to god sent me a sign if we belong together and guess what I got it… now I don’t know how to use it I have the cards on the table what should I do? I already beg her twice I feel if I go for the third I lose her forever… should I give time? But I also don’t want her think this dude said he love me and will fight for me but he leave… I don’t know what to do honestly…

    #697566
    Khadija

    Jay, it probably is best to start a new post.

    You’ll get more responses that way.

    #697569
    Jay

    Thanks..

    #748010
    melles

    I have been in LDR for a year and 3months. We were schoolmates during our elementary year and after more than 30 years we met in social media. I am separated for more than 10 yrs and never had formal relationship with anyone. My ex hubby has his second family already. I concentrated to provide for my only son and myself. He was also separated for more than 20 yrs and working as caregiver in Europe to provide for his 2 adult kids. He has no big financial obligation with his kids except their monthly allowance for the food and home bills. He just needs to work for a living since he has no source of income when he stays in our hometown.
    We were officially on after 2 months of courting me via chat and video calls. When he had his vacation for 45 days the more we got closer and in loved with each other, until he got back to Europe. We continue our LDR. But the problem initiated from me. I was overwhelmed and felt so much confident that his love for me will always endure and his effort to show his love and affection every minute regardless of my petty quarrels with him. Of course, sometimes, a girl wants to overpower and play a little tricky, even I was not serious on that. Even it was all my fault, he will be the one to apologize and beg. Until he was tired of it and to my surprise one day on his wall I saw his post and declaring his found new love. I couldn’t speak that time and begged him to call and he told me sorry for everything but he felt I abused him of his feelings and took his feelings for granted. I was devastated and blocked him in all social media. I gave also to his kids all his personal docs and the card that we shared every time he sent me cash gift that he insisted always just to make me happy during that time. After one month of NC, he sent me text message asking for my forgiveness and he said dumping me was the worst decision he ever did. He only wants my forgiveness probably he realized what he did. He even mentioned that how he loved me so much but he can’t do anything anymore because he can’t afford again to do another worst thing and hurt the girl and her family because he was already introduced to the whole family via social media. They keep posting all their pictures on video calls. I guess he is starting to develop his feelings with the new girl. The girl has the same home town with me. After another 2 weeks, I broke the NC and called him. He was still very kind and gentleman talking to me and how he missed me also. But things changed, I felt clingy and needy, then from civil talk I begun to insist him to go back to me and promise that I will change. I pleaded and cried and promised that I will no longer do what he hates me. But still, he has chosen the new one. He said how he still loved me but he can no longer go back. He has no reason to leave the girl. He said the love is not too much because of a recent relationship but he feels comfortable and relieve with the new relationship. Everyday I begged until found myself annoying him already even it’s no longer my personality. I just want him back. Until he said I should learn to forget him and he immediately blocked me.
    The last thing I did was to send him international SMS apologizing for all the trouble I’ve done and all the bad words I uttered.Then I assured him I will no longer bother him and wish him the best. Now, I really longing for him but I can’t do anything anymore. Need to finally move on with my life and accept it. BTW, he will be on 45 days vacation in June, just like last year when we were together. I know the feeling of having him around personally, his sweetness and caring. But sad to say, it will no longer mine. It’s for the new girl that he will meet personally. Their also neighbors in our home town also.

    Now, he unblocked me in social media, we’re no longer friends in FB but we can search and reach out anytime…am back now in NC and just hope one day he initiates it. But not in my case anymore. I am just happy he unblocked me after I annoyed him.

    #748027
    Kathy

    Melles.. Try to use paragraphs.. We can read better that way.

    And it’s always better to start your own post.

    #774376
    Cyea

    Almost two years. Been doing long distance well enough when I was studying in Ireland for two years and he was in London. Now that I’ve returned back to Asia temporarily looking a job in London… He brought up the question of breaking up n before my plans to go to him next month. Due to The reoccurring state of arguements we have are small but has seem to big so big that he felt it was going to be hard if he doesn’t know when he will see me after this coming trip. I’m in no contact for 5 days n soon enough I would have to make my trip there because it wasn’t just a trip about him but for my own escape.
    Think the reoccurring issues that I presented from my insecurities have let him to realise his own that he may not love me like I love him. Which I then realise during the no contact, my own way of handling conflict has not been good due to mood swings. Now that I’m am in no contact, I found ways to improve how I handle my own emotion. In two weeks, my anxiety of not knowing if I can see him or be back to spend time like we had plan in that month. I don’t need him but I still want him.
    Wish I know if getting back together is in mind for him.

    #774420
    ANM Staff
    Keymaster

    Hi Cyea, thanks for your post! I wish you the best.

    We’re trying to keep the threads here fresh, and this thread started up a few years ago. The community tends not to comment on really old threads because the replies start getting mixed-up between the years-old discussion and the new completely separate discussion.

    It’s certainly a popular topic though! If you (or anyone else who visits this thread) would like to share their story, then I encourage you to go ahead and start a new thread in this forum. Thanks!

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