Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › My ex dumped me again
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by
LiMa.
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Lia
I was in a relationship with a man for a year, we lived together and it was great. We both said that our relationship was one of the best we ever had. 5 days before our one year anniversary he said he was not ready for a relationship and moved out I expressed my hurt but didn’t get upset. We continued to date exclusively and it was going good for a while. A little over three weeks ago he expressed that he wanted to start seeing other people because for the two weeks prior I was unavailable for sex and “he has needs”. I pleaded with him but he seemed adamant. He called to what I assume was to apologize but I cursed him out before he could say anything and that’s when he officially ended the relationship because he felt disrespected. In the past three weeks I reached out to him 3-4 times to make amends. He never responded. We work together and yesterday I decided to talk to him at work. He basically confirmed that he did not want anything to do with me because I cursed him out. The break up is still relatively fresh and I honestly would like him back. I just don’t know where to go from here.
Maddie
I’m very sorry you’re hurting. He was making excuses and downgrading you the entire time, though. This was inevitable because he wasn’t going to commit to you, and the way he treated you and handled it horribly was not. Your. Fault. He was too chicken to break up with you when he wanted and didn’t do it all at once, OR he was hoping to keep using you while slowly conditioning you to let him do whatever he wanted with other women. Having his cake and eating it too until you called him out on it, stood up for yourself, finally placed a boundary. Either way, he was wasting your time! GOOD RIDDANCE to him, go no contact to the extent possible with a coworker, get rid of any reminders of him, do not try to get him back unless you want more blame and subpar treatment for someone who only cares about his own needs and not yours. He even flipped this on you by projecting his own behavior, complete disrespect, and blaming you for disrespecting him! You deserve better, and as you try to mourn and accept this breakup, it may also be a really good time to explore why you don’t think you deserve better. Sometimes that’s doable by yourself, sometimes it’s really helpful to find a professional to discuss it with. Either way, no contact! because nothing good comes from this poor excuse for a man. Lean on friends and family, reconnect with yourself and things you enjoy, stay far away from this tool.
Zoe
How low can you go?
Lia
Zoe, I honestly don’t know. I’m hurt that he didn’t take any accountability when I spoke to him at work. I want to do no contact for at least 30 days straight because I will not continue to look like a fool. But I have his things even his moms chairs and I would like to give them back
Lia
Maddie, thank you you’re absolutely right. I’m still trying to come to terms with the whole thing and just hate the way we ended because we prided ourselves on communication and the fact that he’s refusing to communicate is driving me crazy. But like you said I’m going to have to move on
LiMa
I think he met someone else. All of a sudden unhappy after a year and moves out then is immediately wanting to see other women and blames you for not being available for sex because he has needs? What a jerk. I know it hurts right now but you are way better off without this guy.
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