Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Lying about body count
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 5 years, 5 months ago by
Anne ohio.
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Rachael
So me and this guy are both in our early 20’s and when we were in the “talking” stage of our relationship, we got on the topic of our body count (how many people you’ve slept with). I’m not very proud of my sexual past, so when I heard my number was just about triple his, I got insecure and lied about it. Fast forward to us now being in a relationship for about a couple weeks. We both talk about and agree how much trust and communication means to us. Our relationship has not yet gotten physical and I can’t help but feel guilty. Should I tell the truth before we take it to the next level or am I just making a bigger deal about it than it should be?
Lane
This is a subject you should avoid altogether as its really no one’s business. Trust me if you tell him your’s is triple than his its going to be in the forefront of his brain and he’ll start imaging a line of men getting into your bed; the number of one night stands you’ve engaged in and within 60 seconds he’ll slap a negative label to you and won’t be able to proceed.
Trust me if he told you he’d been with 40 women you would be totally turned off, think about the parade of woman his thing has been in and wouldn’t want it in you. Its how the human brain works.
He knows you’re not a virgin and that’s the only truth he needs to know. Your number is going to have zero affect on what the two of you are building together now so stick with the now and leave the past in the past.
Jen
Please just stop. If you aren’t proud of it, then stop sleeping around so loosely. But that doesn’t have an impact on this relationship. In fact, if you tell him the truth it will only make things worse. There is no good or logical reason to share how many people you had sex with. That’s your business. All he needs to know sexually is if you are diseased or disease free. The same is true about him. What do you have to gain if he up and says, oh I lied. I actually had sex with ripple the number of people I told you? Is that going to make you feel very good? IMO being truthful matters where it counts. You are not obliged to share your entire history with anyone. I’m married and I’m selective about what I share about my background. It’s not being dishonest, it’s being thoughtful about what’s important to share.
Here is a simple example of where being Uber honest doesn’t make sense. Let’s say you are at work and a customer comes into you and asks for your phone number. You are flattered but tell him no you already have a boyfriend. Then you go home and are talking about your day. You tell boyfriend, this guy came into to me today and asked for my phone number. Isn’t that funny? Now boyfriend feels like crap. As inshy are you telling me? To make me feel insecure or jealous?
Raven
Stop talking about this stuff…
It’s none of anyone’s business, but Yours!
Louise
I went through a 13 year marriage without us ever exchanging our ‘number’. You don’t need to.
kaye
I guess it’s a good thing he told you his number first!! If I learned one thing from my 24 year marriage it is that you NEVER, NEVER, in no uncertain terms share information about your sexual past!! I told my ex husband something when we first started dating because he asked and I wish I never had. He couldn’t let go of it for 24 years and kept bringing it up. Men’s egos can’t handle certain information and it will forever bother them. Just imagine if a guy asked about his penis size in comparison to the other guys you dated and you told him it was middle of the road and you’d been with much bigger. That is always going to be on his mind. Just NEVER bring up these kinds of discussions and ALWAYS avoid the conversation if it comes up. A “ladies don’t kiss and tell” coy remark and a smile would be sufficient.
Khadija
Drop this whole conversation and never have it again with a man.
Its no ones business but your own. Unless you have an STD then there is no need to disclose the details of your past sexual experiences.
Most men cannot handle knowing exactly what their woman was up to.
Only young guys tend to want to know your body count, grown men don’t care.
Emma
Grown man do care, they just don’t want to know LOL
These days young women have a LOT of partners, you are probably a very normal case. Surely there are some who had 1-3, but they are no longer the norm.
Youg guys often have lower body count than girls because of porn LOL
But I agree with the others, do not tell the truth. I’d be turn off if I heard a man tons and tons of women, I’d be a little repulsed by that. Just imagine his lips on all those vaginas…all the yeast infections..yikes..I understand several but dozens and dozens, I’d stay away from such guys, if only because of the health risk
Sharon
But Emma… you’re in an open marriage and your husband has his lips on all those vaginas. I hope you haven’t had oral thrush, LOL. And you’re sleeping with a number of men, who have also had plenty of partners. The two of you are walking petri dishes, LOL.
Anyways. Your “body count” is no one’s business but your own. Men don’t really want to know, even if they ask. You have nothing to feel guilty about. The unvarnished truth about everything isn’t necessary.
Anne ohio
You won’t bring it up again. It’s not about revealing the count, it’s about that conversation should never be spoken. Because people don’t ask. If a person asks, they are either extremely immature or something…
Anne ohio
Never, ever say a word about an ex to a man. A real man isn’t threatened, but a Weiner will compare, or hold things against you.
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