Is he scared or just not into me?

Why is this goat still being fed?

I can’t believe this thread is still going! How many more ways can we tell her this guy isn’t interested?!?

Alex, this girl isn’t her friend!! She’s someone she met through this guy just 5 months ago! The only reason she knows her is because of him and now she’s using her to maintain some connection with this guy. It’s not healthy.

As far as “the women” on here painting her as the stereotypical crazy girl, we didn’t do that. She did that all by herself!! Do you really think showing up at a guy’s work to discuss your non-existent relationship with him to the point he has to be rude to you and tell you he said from the beginning he didn’t want a relationship and to ask if he’s making himself clear enough.. isn’t over the top crazy?

And then to say that your last relationship was with an emotionally unavailable, depressed, scared guy who treated her badly in the beginning to the point she would drive 2 hours to spend the weekend with him only for him to stay in his room and her spend the entire weekend awkwardly with his roomie. Does any of that sound like the actions of an emotionally healthy person? She has some serious issues and needs much more help than we can give her here.

Melody, if this man wanted to know you were okay, or wanted you back, you would have heard from him by now. He has your number. He goes to the same gym as you. He knows how to get in touch with you. He would have no reason to send his best friend as an emissary to smooth things over or find out you’re okay.

She may just genuinely LIKE you. Or, and I do think this is a possibility when we’re dealing with a woman whose best friend is a man, she may not have any other female friends. Men don’t want to sit and talk over things the way women do…she may need that in her life and you seem open to friendship. I would not read anything into her actions to do with him AT ALL.

My boyfriend’s friend that tried to maintain friendship ties had very few female friends and I think that was the main reason why she tried to maintain the connection. It had nothing to do with him at all. BUT, she was going back and telling him everything I said, which is why I’m cautioning you that her loyalty is to HIM.

Oh, Jesus Christ …

Real Melody here. My last response was May 31, 2017 at 7:50 am – that was MY last post on here. Obviously, the other “Melody” is fake. But you know what – let’s just end it here everybody. This is not helping me. And I think those of you who said not talking about it anymore will help. Today I didn’t spend any time on this forum and I felt great. I don’t understand why some of you seem to think I’ve not let go. I have. I keep telling myself “He’s not interested” every time I think of him. I have no intentions of contacting him again. I don’t even talk about him to my friends anymore. I’m mentally forcing myself to move on.

@Emma – you said that you wonder if I ever took any of your advice to heart. Of course I did. And I said that many times. And if you go back and read my very first post, you will see I didn’t ask if I should talk to him – I decided that by talking to my real friends and by following what my heart told me to do. I was asking if there were ever cases where men were simply too scared of commitment to give you a chance. I actually wanted a more philosophical discussion about that.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot by posting this and receiving this insane amount of replies! Thank you, everyone, who has put their time into reading this whole thing and giving me your advice.

I will say that I don’t really take those of you calling me crazy and trying to diagnose my mental state by a post on a forum that seriously. I mean, I read what you say but also everything seems to have gotten out of hand here. Every situation is different and it’s impossible to diagnose someone without having proper education and – I feel – talking to the person in question in real life. I would stop diagnosing people on a forum, but maybe that’s just me …

Moving on – I am anyway. And I don’t think I would want to update on here if anything else were to happen out in the real world. I am really trying to move on, live my life, be happy and all that. And most of the time I am. I don’t think about him that much and when I do I try to direct my thoughts elsewhere.

So there you go. Thank you, everybody. Let’s just agree to end it here, right?

Xx Melody

@Melody – I am not diagnosing you, I am asking those questions so you can put the focus on yourself rather than on this man. The only thing I noticed was your addiction to the emotional highs of a relationship and your self esteem. Why self esteem? Because you are making excuses for a man’s poor behaviour. A person with a strong self esteem would have walked away much sooner than you did (though it is still good you are walking away now). Both of them indicate some things you need to work on within yourself. This is not a condemnation or mockery, most people go through this at some point of their lives, it is a good opportunity to learn and grow on a personal level.

That said, good luck on your love journey.