This topic contains 85 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by er 3 months, 2 weeks ago.
October 14, 2016 at 4:43 pm #570869
You are definitely not the only one that feels this way. I get highly annoyed when guys that I’m not with ask for pics, even ones that aren’t considered sexy. I understand if you haven’t seen any pics and have no idea what I look like. But every single guy that does this has seen numerous pics of me on FB or IG. It’s no mystery as to what I look like. They just want something that’s special “just for them.” They have responded this way when I ask them why they need to see more.
To me it screams desperation, as well as expectation. They are basically asking you to do something that you should want to offer on your own. Furthermore, why would a guy I’m not with expect me to take time out of my day to take a pic that is “just for them”? Do they really think I want to waste my time trying to take a decent pic for someone I’m not even dating? They don’t truly have an interest in me, so I’m thinking logically about it…so what do I get in return? The satisfaction of know that someone finds me attractive? Don’t give a f***.
Idk what other women do, but I have so many men ask me this. So they obviously must be having some success somewhere in the process.October 20, 2016 at 7:53 pm #572247
So my problem is I have been dating a guy for a couple months,. We did meet online, but we have been on quite a few dates by now. He still asks for pictures! I have sent him a few, even though he is on my Facebook and i have told him that i do not feel comfortable taking pictures and sending them to him all the time. He got upset the last time I told him no. Now, he is not sure if we should still be going out. I told him that i have already sent a few and that I would see him again on Friday. This is not the only guy I have had this problem with. It turns into a big issue. Why are these guys so stuck on me sending them pictures? I think that once we have dated for a while and i feel more comfortable, i wouldn’t mind, but, it would be on my own accord and not because i felt pressured.October 20, 2016 at 8:21 pm #572253
Reading all the responses to this post makes me realize how selfish and self-centered most women are. Yes, I agree it is unsafe to send pictures of yourself to a stranger. And there are a lot of losers on online dating sites. But….you ladies should learn to empathize with other people. I have heard from male friends that SO many women post old or outdated photos. Then they show up for the date and it was a complete waste of time. Attraction is a big part of a relationship and if you don’t have it, you can’t force it or make up your mind to be attracted. It doesn’t matter if you tell the guy your pics are current. ALL women say that but many times, it’s not true. Bottom line, my advice is – if a guy is acting weird and creepy then by all means cut off contact. But don’t let a guy asking you for pics put you off if he seems good otherwise. Why not set up a Skype account with a screenname that does not reveal personal details (like your last name), and offer guys to talk on Skype before you meet up. Btw, this will protect you ladies, too. You can get a better read on if the guy is a creep and you will avoid wasting time if HE does not look like his pics or if there is absolutely no chemistry. Then he can also see you look like your pics. Win-win for everyone :)October 20, 2016 at 8:24 pm #572255
I forgot to add, men generally have the perception that women post only their best photos online when, in fact, they may be far less attractive than they appear. That is a big part of what motivates asking for more pics. Or they think you’re pretty. Either way, videochatting solves the problemOctober 24, 2016 at 1:36 am #572875
@jenna They can just take a screenshot of the facetime. women have the same issue with guys’ photos being outdated. We ALL have to gamble. The best is to spend an hour or less at a first meeting to determine if the person has misrepresented themselves. Leading with negativity- i.e. Send me a pic so I know those are real photos—-what good can that lead to. Bad first pre-date!October 31, 2016 at 9:00 pm #574927
I would agree this picture thing is out of control with men. So is the constant talk about 69 and sex and calling a prude or talking about being naked. It is not only one they all do it. I don’t know where they were raised or what they are thinking. This has got to stop they all crep you out like they are some kind of creepy predator. They are worried if your fat and sorry bbut some of these men are gross. Had to say it. No other way to meet men and this is futile too.November 16, 2016 at 1:03 am #578571
Yes! Literally had a guy tell me ‘he’s too old to deal with this’ because I said I’m not comfortable sending my photos to strangers! Then he deleted me 😂 Lol
Not to mention he had already saved pictures of me to his phone and proceeded to send me selfies every day without me even asking for them.
“Just finished Nando’s” (pic)
“I’m in the hospital” (pic)
It’s very tacky,November 16, 2016 at 1:08 am #578572
And to whoever said we’re selfish and self centred – fact is, if we’re not comfortable doing something – then we shouldn’t be forced to do it just to make guys happy.
You can go ahead and do everything a guy asks, that’s your pregorative. If they want to see me – we can meet. The same way I wouldn’t ask guys for pics when they clearly have pic already available on their social networks. If I wanted to be sure… I would ask to meet. Simple as.November 16, 2016 at 1:11 am #578573
100% agree!November 20, 2016 at 11:33 am #579529
I hate when guys ask me as well. That’s why I gave up OLD. If you’re attractive, the guys want nudes point blank. I have this problem IRL as well. If you only have face pics, they think you are overweight. So they ask for more pics to confirm this. Also, alot of people use old pics. So they ask for more hoping they’ll get a recent one. Also, there are catfishers out there using someone elses pics. So guys ask for more hoping they get a realistic pic that’s not already online. Last but not least, some ask for nudes because there’s a huge surge of trannies using OLD.November 21, 2016 at 12:03 pm #579835
I don’t really get why swapping pics incites such hostility from you ladies. I have chatted with many women online and it has been my experience that pics are frequently exchanged. I send random pics of my day and vice versa. I think the crucial part of that is that pics are EXCHANGED rather than a one sided pic request. I’ve been known to ask girls to eitherskype or send a proof picture of them holding a card with my name on it to prove that they are who they say. Catfishing is a thing and its happened to me before. But I don’t normally make requests like that unless I’m suspicious that the girl is hiding something. I also agree with the meet in person asap idea, but that isnt always possibledue to distance. So thats kinda my stance on the whole thing.
And again I dont think it is a big deal to ask for pics. Like we might be talking and you mention some fun thing youreheading off to do. I’ll often say hey you should send pics. And vice versa. From a guys perspwctive when a girl gets weird about sending a pic, it screams one of two things: either you arent the person in the handful of pics you have on your profile or I dont even mean enough to you to be worth the 2 seconds of effort needed to send a pic.
The nature of the convo is a factor too. If its a dating app and youve been talking regularly for a fewweeks then pics are no big deal. But if its just a casual pen pal or you only just started talking then I can see it being a little off putting. And again I never insist on additional pics unless youve done something to make me suspicious (ie caught u in a lie, u avoid meeting irl or any other way of connecting on some level in real life). Just my.02.December 7, 2016 at 8:57 am #583173
This topic truly concerns me as I am just getting into dating after 10 years. I find it very creepy and annoying especially since I have a good variety of pictures on my profile. My hair naturally curly (to avoid being deceiving and to prove that my long hair is real), me being serious/professional, fun, a pic of a good night out, full body profile etc. It is all there!
I’m pretty self-conscious about my pictures and HATE selfies. I know that I am beautiful, but I am awkward after being in a bad relationship for so long. I’m still learning how to smile, believe it or not. When I meet someone in person, they are like taken aback that my pictures do me no justice.
I would much rather a guy be interested enough to want to take me out, not waste my time fishing to see how attractive I really am before wanting to spend time with me. It is extremely shallow.December 7, 2016 at 4:30 pm #583246
HATE! major pet peeve. is it laziness on their part? it’s like, refer back to the site, I have pics up! it really bugs me.December 8, 2016 at 1:06 pm #583375
It is not laziness that compels a guy to ask for additional pics. I will give you the fact that some guys just like to troll for pics. But most guys asking for pics do so to make sure that your profile pics are of you and not just pics you stole from somewhere.
It is not about being shallow. If I’m opening myself up to someone online then I want to make damn sure that I’m not being catfished. I personally HATE taking selfies because I am horrible at it, but I do it as a way of showing that I’m serious about the other person. And to me that attitude of being sodisgusted that a guy would ask for a selfie just for them smacks of entitlement and self centeredness. That its all about you and you wont budge an inch for anyone else. Its ok to be self centered. Its ok to become enraged merely because someone asked for a pic. But if thats how you feel then you shouldnt do OLD.December 8, 2016 at 2:51 pm #583404
I think there is a difference between asking for a pic or two to verify a potential date’s appearance and pushing for multiple pics instead of even trying to get to know you. Or asking for sexual pics before you’ve even met, let alone had sex! Personally, the latter two (pushing for multiple pics instead of getting to know me or asking for sexual pics) are a complete no go for me.
I believe those are the situations most of the women here are complaining about. Regardless, the bottom line is your personal boundaries are yours alone to decide. If you’re okay sending pics, good for you. If you’re not, good for you. Any guy who isn’t okay with your choice isn’t the guy for you.January 2, 2017 at 9:54 am #589137
Too many pics
Guys who want too many pics are not looking for someone, but they are trying to treat you like some sexual fantasy. These are guys who spend all night on the internet looking for porn.
I, too, have been the victim of guys asking for tons of pics. Every single woman online goes through it, especially if you are attractive or somewhat attractive. I dont want to spend all day taking photos, it is tacky. I have other things to do.
If a guy asks me for more photos more than three times in the beginning, i just stop talking. I have face, full body, close up and far away.
Yeah i understand you’re horny and completely value looks above everything, but guess what? You’re behavior is creepy. Seems guys are just like you gotta understand and just accept it. How about you understand that we key into behavior and you should not be a creep?
Lol.. But actually, no. Im glad men dont know how to behave and that they are clueless because it makes it easier to weed out the douchebags.
Chances are we are never gonna be in a relationship and this conversation will end within a few weeks. Im not gonna send out 50 pics to every single guy i speak to on the internet, which is dozens. Thats just crazy. Its crazy for guys to expect that. Understand we are people not sex pros on a fantasy sex site.January 8, 2017 at 8:57 am #590836
I agree it’s really annoying that two seconds into a conversation and sometimes even before they say “hi, how are you” the guys asking to see a picture.
The way I’ve handled it in the past is to explain my reservations about sharing my photograph with a complete stranger. If they don’t respect that, I do one of two things either I block them straight away or my favourite is to send them my picture and after they have responded, usually favourably, I explain to them that I’m blocking them because I have no desire to be involved with any man who could so completely disregard my feelings over his ‘need’ to see a picture. After all he’s not going to be involved with my picture he’s going to be involved with me. They usually get angry or beligerent at this point and that tells me all I need to know about them.January 8, 2017 at 9:08 am #590840
LOl Susanna that is great! I hope more women do that.January 8, 2017 at 9:23 am #590844
YES!! very annoying. One time i asked a guy why so many pics he said it’s cause he doesn’t want those that everyone online has or have seen them. But when i asked him to send me one of his he says i have to send him one of mine FIRST for him to send me one. Im like okay. i take one and send he does same then he kept asking me for more on my side. It’s exhausting and annoying. Total turn off. How much more do you need man??!!! I stopped chatting and he got the idea after that cause he asked if i lost interest in him because he asked for the pics. What do you think dude?!January 9, 2017 at 8:51 am #591155
I really hate when men start asking for pics, especially body pics. It makes me umcomfortable and I feel like… I’m being stripped. I grew up in a strict asian culture. So when men, who I just know for a day, ask me for my body pics,I feel kinda insulted.
I’d like to share my experience.
I once met this guy from a dating app. It was still 2 hours since we introduce ourselves when this guy started asking for my pics. I sent my selfie and he replied, “if you wanna see my pic, just look at my profile picture”. I am so enraged towards his manner. Oh, and he also said this, “It is how it works in America. You have to follow American culture if you want to live here (I told him that I planned to study in America)”
😕😕😕January 9, 2017 at 10:43 am #591179
been there done that
Asking for more pictures isn’t wrong afterall. My BF told me stories of many dates he went to and was surprised to see that the girl was so different than her pics and he was hating his first dates. I am not very photogenic, when my present BF saw my pics and saw me live there was a difference. For him I look way better in person than my pics. If a guy is really interested in pursuing something they would want to know more about you and/or ask for more pics. If you don’t feel comfortable simply let them know that you prefer meeting up in person.January 17, 2017 at 8:24 pm #593439
I got this to from a guy I met online. He asked me to send a pic to him while he was at work and I found it odd. But then again, this was an international dating site so the chances of seeing each other in person were slim. He later explained to me that he wanted a picture that no one else had and is taken for them. The pictures on your profile anybody can see. It doesnt have to be anything racy if you are not comfortable. But if this guy is not doing the same when you ask him for a pic, i dont know girrlll haha.February 6, 2017 at 12:05 am #598910
Well, I met this guy who wanted me to send him a picture everyday. It kind of scared me because I thought he is just trying to figure out where I am. So as a way to keep tabs on me. So I refused and he would beg. I couldn’t stand it. It does kind of feel creepy to know that a stanger has your pics and is using them to fantasize about you or whatever he is doing.March 15, 2017 at 4:25 pm #611092
It sucks big time and so annoying . A guy was asking for photos of me everyday. That’s so creepy and not normal.March 15, 2017 at 4:31 pm #611094
Never had this happen to me. Maybe because I include full body shots (NOT bikini/sexy dressed– just looking nice and pretty but representative of my actual figure/body type), many faces pics from different angles… dressed up and natural/outdoors, and state that they are all recent. What else do they need to see? I think if you are being asked this they either have suspcioun your photos are hiding something (i.e you are much bigger than you appear to be) or they are angling for scantily clad/sexy stuff in which case they are disrespectful and should be immediately ignored. If someone asked me for more photos I’d say “why and what do you mean”. Make them answer– if they tried to say they wanted something suggestive I’d ignore and block. The only reason these idiots continue this beahvior is because a small percentage of clueless women will happily indulge them, which trains them to think the rest of us are dumb. the more we make it clear that we won’t be treated as such, the better for the next girl/woman.