Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › how would you feel or even handle this?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
LaFrance Thibodeaux.
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tara
Hi girls, how would you be secure and feel confident when your boyfriend voices out when a celebrity, actress, or Tv personality looks pretty, because my boyfriend is exactly like this I don’t know if he says it to make me feel insecure/ jealous or because he truly means it without any harm or intentions whatsoever.
The other days we where watching a Tv show from his country and this girl who happens to be an actress from my country, so he was saying how beautiful she is and that from the rest she happens (for him) to be the prettiest one, but then he said that she had an empty brain because of a topic they were discussing.
Then we where watching a tv show where they play games and male celebrities and female compete against each other, so there was this actress/model who he had happened to mention in the past stating how beautiful she is,, so he said the same thing now.
The point is that if he sees 5 women in a day on Tv and thinks they are wow, gorgeous he will just says it out loud in front of me, ex: oh yeah, this actress is very beautiful is this alright? would you not feel like your self esteem goes down or even makes you feel insecure.
Do you find it disrespectful ( especially for him being a good man, with principles etc etc etc).
Wanderer
Okay so I recently had a fight with my guy over this but the situation was reversed. I used to do what your guy is doing. I used to compliment male celebs and guys but I did this to play it cool and make him jealous so that he be more expressive about his feelings for me. which definitely backfired lol. So I wouldnt recommend doing that haha. I guess your guy might be doing that in front of you for the same reason. lol
Raven
I’m guessing he’s young… Nevertheless, he’s a bonehead-
Gracelyn
Do you find it disrespectful ( especially for him being a good man, with principles etc etc etc).
If the comments are all the time, yes, I would.
But not if it’s once in a blue moon.
I guess it would depend on the context.
Then again, I wouldn’t want him to feel as though he can’t be expressive around me.
Erika Gingold
My ex, ex being the operative word here, used to do this to me constantly. Even after I expressed how it made me feel, and pointed out that I don’t do that to him, he kept doing it. What made it even worse, is that he NEVER told me I was beautiful, hot, pretty etc. and I pointed that out to him. He didn’t start paying me the same compliments, he just basically ignored me about the whole thing. This man does not respect you. He may also be a narcissist and if you find out that he does have narcissistic traits, I would run girl, run. He will never change. I promise you, he will continue to do things that make you feel like you are not enough, and only stay in the relationship if it benefits him in some way. He is insensitive to say how beautiful a girl is on tv, and not consider how that would make you feel. Also, since he keeps doing it even though you told him it makes you uncomfortable, then he is putting his own needs before yours and always will. You may really want to consider the other things he does that lower your self esteem. If I am right, and he is disrespectful or insensitive to you in other ways, I would get out of this relationship. I stayed with this man for 15 years of my life, and it damaged my self worth.I always thought he would change. But the odds are that hes too selfish to consider changing for you. My wishes for a better man to come into your life, Erika
Lane
I would have a calm conversation about it the next time he does it if it bothers you so much. Don’t go into judgement mode but pose it as a question such as “I notice you say they are beautiful or pretty a lot.” Then let him answer why he does because that is your answer.
Men are very visual and some are more expressive than others. I bet 10-1 its become a habit that he doesn’t even consciously realize he’s doing, just something he picked up when younger watching TV alone or with his pals. Most men just think it, but he’s the type who says what he thinks. Even if you get him to stop saying it, he’s still going to be thinking it, so you really haven’t gained anything even if you get him to stop saying it out loud.
One of my good male friends told me this: “We look at women like art but it doesn’t mean we want to buy it.” Meaning they see the beauty in women, like one does a piece of art, a sunset, a car, a house as they driving by it but it doesn’t mean they want to possess it, there’s just something about it they like and express it out loud.
My BF does this with houses he likes the exterior of as we drive by and trucks he sees on the road lol. I remember one time when my ex husband (of over 20 years) blurted out “I think she’s beautiful” when we were watching a movie together on TV and interestingly enough she had a lot of my features haha. For me it would depend on how much he does it and in the context he says it as to whether its a bad habit, fixation, or just saying what’s on his mind at that point in time and doesn’t mention it again.
Better off single
“We look at women like art but it doesn’t mean we want to buy it.” smart guy.
It’s a world of beautiful people with amazing talent. I choose to admire, not envy. Maybe he is the same way. I know I’m not the only one.
What are the chances she would be into him?
What’s the likelyhood of him running into this celebrity and cheating on you? It’d be like winning the lottery.LaFrance Thibodeaux
I’m confused as to why a television personality would make anyone insecure?..I could understand if he’s making comments about the next door neighbor or a woman within his reach..Does he ever complement you,telling you how beautiful he thinks you are?..If not then that could be the problem..
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