Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › How long do you wait before meeting an Online guy?
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 9 years, 2 months ago by
Ann/Christie.
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Kay
So i started talking to this guy online about a week ago, it’s been like 1-2 msgs a day. He asked for my number two days ago and we started texting. And he recently asked if I would be okay with talking on the phone or meeting up for a coffee because it’s kinda difficult to talk over text.
I’ve already looked him up on google, he seems like a legit/real person.
I just feel like I dont know too much about him yet..(in terms of personality)
So question:
1) How long do you wait before meeting up a with an online guy?
2) Im thinking we should talk on the phone first..what questions should i ask him to get to know him more?Sherri
As soon as he asks you out, you check ur schedule and give him a time and place (which u are comfortable with). No point in waiting more. Meeting will tell u if you feel any kind of chemistry or not else all this chatting/texting/talking is a waste of time. Online dating is not meant to be “virtual” forever.
When chatting with the guy u need to check with him the below to make sure its not a deal breaker for u. If all are fine, why r u still wasting time chatting? What is going to change except that he may lose interest or think that all you are looking for pen pals and move on to another woman who is looking to meet and develop a connection in person.
1) When did your last relationship end?
2) How long was it?
3) Do you have kids? their ages?
4) Full/shared/visitation?
5) What does he do for a job?
6) Does he have a car?
7) What are his hobbies, likes, dislikes?
8) What he is looking for online? (when u ask this u r looking for a guy who is open to getting into a relationship, not a guy who is just going with the flow. I usually tell guys that I tend to take things slow so guys only looking for sex lose interest and move on.)
9) Does he live with his parents?
10) Does he live alone? (believe it or not, some guys still live with their exs)
11) Whether he is separated or divorced if he was ever married?Sherri
Some things to be cautious about:
Do not sleep with him doesn’t matter how “connected” you feel. You need to make sure his words match actions and that only can be done over time. You can gauge a guy’s personality in person not over text or phone. I remember making this mistake when I first started online dating. The guy I met first was so different than what he projected over text/phone. It felt like I was chatting with 2 complete separate guys and you know what …. that could be possible too.Ann
I know that happened to a guy I met on POF Sherri. He chatted on POF for weeks, and then when they decided to meet up, it was a different woman (he didn’t know that). It turns out that the first woman was a friend, who was trying to help out her friend who was not very savvy in dating. It turned out to be a disaster, because the first woman, who was doing the chatting for her friend, ended up having feelings for the guy. Nothing is as it seems on-line. The quicker you can meet someone in person, the better. I think of those sites as introduction sites, not dating sites.
Kay
Thanks for your responses. He’s in his mid 20s, no kids, has a good job, doesnt live with his parents, never married.
So skip the phone conversation and just go ahead with meeting up with him? Merely one week of chatting online is sufficient? Cuz i told him i havent met up with that many guys cuz i’m picky about who i go out with (which is true).
Ann
Face to face is the only way you know if it has potential, in my opinion.
celesteannv
I always suggest within a week or so. Do not create a virtual relationship. See Christie’s comment.
redcurleysue
I would meet for coffee, daytime. Keep it short 15-30 minutes so he will want to see you again to learn more.
Ann/Christie
Celeste……lol. Why do I say my name is Ann on here?
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