Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › How do I take charge of my happiness and not depend on anyone for emotional or f
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Newbie.
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Tired
I have a small circle of friends that lately are moving on with their lives (baby on board) and can’t hang out anymore as frequently or as usual. My boyfriend seems to be putting everyone first in his life except me. I have to wait to see if he has plans with other people so i will know if i will see him or not. I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore, but his birthday is coming up and I have already bought him an expensive watch. Plus had some unplanned expenses on my car and all my savings are gone in a flash. I have no money and im trying to get through the day until next pay. I’m glad that I at least have my job. But i have realized that I cannot rely on anyone to understand or just share some advice in my life. So im turning to strangers on the internet. Please give me your wisdom. I just want to live a happy life and manage my finances and emotions on my own.
Tallspicy
Yeah, return the watch and do something for you. And …. gentle nudge… less self pity and deep dive into a hobby. Reading, cooking, exercising etc.
Tired
Thank you for responding Tallspicy..I have thought about returning the watch but the problem is i have had it engraved and it has his name on it and a personal message. They wouldn’t accept it back.
I like your tips. That’s what i want to do, get my focus off him and off my friends. Im not sure how to do it alone as i get the need to want to talk to people frequently.
Anon
Think about what you’re doing- giving and giving to this boyfriend literally to the point you have nothing left to give as you have no more money. You have given too much away and have lost who you are. Absolutely do not give this watch to him, he does not deserve this from you. You will give this to him expecting that he will show you attention and prioritize you more and he might for a little bit and then He will go back to the way he is- not prioritizing you and not respecting you. You have to re-align your life and completely de-prioritize him and then you will he taking care of the most important person in your life- yourself.
Anon
* be not he
Tallspicy
No one said not to talk to anyone. We said to work on yourself. Maybe a therapist could help as you do not seem to be able to see the difference between taking care of yourself and needing others to validate you. It is about where to find your validation. There is no wrong or right, but best to learn to find your Own validation from you so no one can take it away. So keep talking to people, enjoy them and do the things you enjoy with or without them.
Tired
Points noted.
Newbie
You are in a funk. And people around you move on whole you feel stuck. Yeah then its time to take matters in your own hand. Start with clean up your house and enjoy it again. Then make a list of your montly expenses, costs for food and some to save up. I know i must sound weird but its really unclouding to organise your life and house again and put some beauty in it like flowers. And then go handle the bf. Have a convo youre done being the last on his list. He can either put you up high on the list or youre gone. Im sorry you bought the watch but its a lesson to not overspend
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