His busy schedule

Hi Lane,

I’m not giving him any power. It’s very early days so I was curious to the inputs of others if they was in this situation.

Thanks so much for the big response tho, very much appreciated.

Some thinking to be done, which is why all the opinions I can get is helpful in forming a conclusion.

Yeah tall it feels like he’s gave me a list of all the times he’s not available for me. It’s just so excessive and there’s so many holidays with friends, doesn’t ever really factor me or us into his timeline. Feels like his life and friends and bachelor life is his priority & I’m there when he has free time.

Also looks like all his holiday allowance is consumed with holidays abroad with friends: Ibiza & Thailand at the main ones, which are very typical places to go to if single.
Also, doesn’t give us any time to get away.

Just feels a little perplexing if in the early days he’s so busy, feels almost like he’s unavailable & not too invested in me.

I did also wonder if this is a sign he sees me more short term than long term.

I’m happy to see you are now applying logic and rational instead of giving into the chemical fog of infatuation—it will trip a lady up in making poor dating decisions by hanging on far longer than they should have. Your gut is screaming “run” or you wouldn’t have come here as he is clearly telling you by sending you those calendars “I am more interested in being single, traveling and hanging out with other people than developing a relationship with you.”

I personally would have responded with “Wow, you’re a very busy guy. Have fun traveling the world, hanging with your friends and playing football. Its clear to me that we are not a good match, or on the same page as I’m looking to develop something long-term with someone who has the time to devote to it. It was nice meeting you, Good bye.”

If he’s busy, then he’s busy, that’s on him.

I’d end it with kindness, because that’s the classy way a lady does things…

“All these plans you have look like you’re going to have a great time, I’m really happy for you. It’s been great hanging and getting to know you, it’s clear you have a lot to offer someone. I’m just looking for a partner who wants to devote consistent time to the relationship. I wish you the best with your future travels, I mean that.

This is what I call, the Cool Girl Exit :)

Dear Lord run! I cringe just reading his list. A boy stuck in stag- dos and lad- holidays. Booze, more booze and getting laid. I bet when he isn’t on holidays or playing footie, he is down the pub with his mates every night. I know the sort…they very rarely change for a relationship! Run

That’s so bizarre. Who sends someone they’re dating for 1 month an Excel spreadsheet of their activities for the year?

I think your gut instinct is 100% correct when you said in your original post: “it’s feeling like he’s wanting to live the single mans life, with a GF on the side when he’s bored or his friends have no plans.” I think that’s exactly what’s going on. I like Amy S and cupcake’s comments too.

It sounds like you know what to do. This guy is not interested in developing a relationship with you. No guy who wants to be close to a woman would distance her in this manner. From the looks of it he could maybe squeeze you in in October and December (that’s sarcasm)– but seriously, who wants to date a guy who makes it clear that his priorities are his friends, concerts and football matches?

Wow!!!

Thanks so much for all the responses!!!

I wasn’t sure if I was being silly, however 100% of the responses have all confirmed the exact same as what I was thinking!

I did think it was weird he has it all on an Excel document. He’s a list crazy guy, has lists for everything. I told him I was going to look at a holiday and start doing fun things, which is why why he sent me the spreadsheet. Soon as I seen it? I did think, there’s zero time for me! At all.

I think it’s fine if the guy wants to keep an Excel list of his plans for himself. Some people like lists. That’s OK.

What was weird was that he sent it to you, as if you were his secretary or something. You’re someone he just started dating, and is presumably trying to impress.

You said he’s very difficult to lock down for dates. That in and of itself is enough reason to cut him loose. A guy who’s interested in building a relationship with you will make himself available whenever he can, especially early on when he’s trying to win you over.

Being difficult to schedule and on top of that sending you his calendar like you’re his assistant or something– that speaks volumes. He’s not trying to impress you or woo you. He’s letting you know where you stand. If you continue dating him, then he’ll tell you later on that you can’t complain that he’s not giving you enough time and attention, because you KNOW how busy he is (eye roll).