This topic contains 22 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Sissy 1 month ago.
June 12, 2017 at 4:52 am #633712
I said to him – I missed you – he said “I missed your company”-
Should I have be offended – it doesn’t make feel great though
So we have been have going back and forth for a whole week – he cancelled on me Thursdays – I cancelled him on Saturday- and then I rescheduled for Sunday – where we met – we had a quite night – it was relaxing- it was like though to friends handing out- he was affectionate- Hugs and kisses but as it was getting late and I was feeling sleepy. He said “Im gonna leave now” he put his shoes on and he headed to the door 😱I felt sad – and I wanted him to stay – so as he opened the door – I told him “I want you to stay” – which he did and one thing led to another .
So as we were in bed – after the deed – I told him -“I missed you a lot while we were apart” (exactly two weeks) he and then he says “I miss your company” – to me that translated as – I didn’t miss you much at all.
But the odd bit – he asked before that – if i had a whole weekend free -so we can go somewhere together. I obviously ruined that and said ” are you sure -you want us to spend a whole weekend together- which he said why not.
And this morning when he was leaving- I told him “I feel like things are bit strange between us” he said how – but then I got tongue tied and couldn’t express how I was feeling.
And to be honest I don’t even know how I am feeling.June 12, 2017 at 5:02 am #633713
Well I kinda want to know some more info… like are you two just dating or are you bf/gf? I will just assume you two met eachother for some weeks/months ago, and you were one a few dates. Yes it is strange he said “I miss your company” instead of just say “I miss you too”. I would kinda take it as “Its fun hanging out with you, but I dont really miss you that much”, but again, I dont know what that man is thinking.
You are feeling confused and strange, most likely because you two have sex. Like it or not, sex changes everything, sometimes for the better, other times for the worse. In this case, it might be for the worse… If you want something serious, its not a good idea to have sex right away, but this guy seems pretty laid back.
You shouldnt be overthinking this, yes you had sex, yes he might never contact you (or maybe he will). Just wait and see what happens, but it doesnt sound like he feels the same as you.June 12, 2017 at 5:04 am #633714
I miss your company.
I enjoy being in your company means I miss your companionship, enjoy your presence, have fellowship with you.
Not as intimate and close as “I miss you”.
I can understand how this creates distance. I would keep my eyes open on this. It sounds a little stilted to me. Granted, men are not at good with words as women often are, so it may also mean nothing…June 12, 2017 at 5:15 am #633715
@Jose so you’re one of the Lucky ones that I have not seen my other threads regarding this guy.
Yes we have been seeing each other for over 4 months but it has been very rocky for the last month or so.
And this is not the first we slept together- we having been sleeping together for three months now.
The thing is – he usually says “I miss you” and this is the first I said first – because there has been bit of distant between us.June 12, 2017 at 5:17 am #633717
@redcurleysue – that’s exactly how it come across to me too – I felt like he was putting some kind distant between us.June 12, 2017 at 5:57 am #633723
Yeah I dont think I had read your other posts about this guy, at least I dont remember I have. It does sounds like he is taking distance from you somehow, but since you two sound close I guess you should talk with him about. Because this is bothering you. You need to think this through, because telling him that something is “strange between you two”, isnt going to get you anywhere, especially if he doesnt feel like there is anything wrong. Be clear with your feelings, deep down you know exactly whats making you feel like this, dont try to push it away.June 12, 2017 at 6:18 am #633726
I miss your company is a very strange way to say I don’t miss you as much as you miss me. I’d let him lead from now on and observe him for the next month or so. Don’t initiate meet ups and let him do so, and definitely do not text him. Get rid of him if his interest is anything but lukewarm.June 12, 2017 at 7:52 am #633742
This is the guy that just stood you up and has done so before, right? You were just crying on here a few days ago that’s he ditched you last minute using the same excuse he usually uses. He didn’t even call, he sent a text.
And now you are wondering what he means by this statement? Most of us told you to stop seeing man that treats you badly like this. Instead you let him into your home and ask him to stay over. You reward him with ‘hot sex.’
Hun, he’s using you at his own convenience. And he said exactly what he meant. He doesn’t miss you, he missed th get together and the sex. But you were determined to see him again and now don the feel any better than you did last week after he stood you up. This man is wasting your time if you want a real bf.June 12, 2017 at 9:09 am #633761
I didn’t see your previous post but I do agree with Kayla on this one. He made sure to insert another word-company-into his response to your ‘I miss you’. That is to try to make you see that he wants you to know that he is not into you at all really. He wants the sex, sure… nothing more and nothing less.June 12, 2017 at 9:42 am #633765
Kayla and prairiegirl – the thing is he didn’t even initiate the sex – he was leaving after we spend very long time together 8pm to 1am I stop him from leaving which makes me think is also losing interest in sleeping with me too.
And why would he ask me for weekend away?
He messaged this afternoon and said it was nice to see me – hopefully we will see each later this week.June 12, 2017 at 10:15 am #633774
Yes, this is the guy that you said stood you up? Sweetie, it just doesn’t sound healthy. There was a long thread about how he stood you up and the passive-aggressive “I didn’t think you were going to make it anyway,” and now he’s “hanging” with you and you practically begged him to stay. Of course he stayed, because he’s getting sex out of it. You’re allowing him to use you. You’re practically grabbing at him. And saying “I missed you” without even knowing how he feels….I see this over and over here, on these forums. Don’t throw your heart into the ring if you don’t know for sure how the guy feels about you. A guy doesn’t have to say “I love you,” but if he does, believe me, you KNOW it. I keep seeing you lovely women trying to get a specific response from these guys who aren’t that invested. You can’t make a guy feel things he doesn’t feel. He either feels them or he doesn’t. Guys can “hang out” with girls and sleep with them, and even like them, but it doesn’t mean there is a deep connection, or any real connection at all.
You’re doing yourself a disservice by allowing yourself to be used by him. A healthy relationship makes you feel like a better version of yourself, you feel cherished, you don’t have to wonder, because when a guy is all in, he’s all in. I want you to be happy. You can’t get there with this guy.
Ladies, keep your cards close to your chest.June 12, 2017 at 10:20 am #633776
Dee, so after all the advice, you stood him up on Saturday as a retaliation for his cancellation? I think you are your own worst enemy, he clearly likes you a lot, he wants to spend a week-end together, instead of being elated at his suggestion you go – are you sure you want us to spend the whole week-end together? And then – things are weird between us. How do you think he is going to interpret all this? Most people are insecure, they are going to interpret it as “not into me”. You asked him to stay and he turned around and stayed like a puppy. He is texting you nice things, but you are always playing games with him. So he said he missed your company, maybe he was being cautious, maybe this is what he meant. If you ask me, it is better that he missed your company, not just I missed you too, he missed you as a person, with your friendship, your conversations, everything. Stop picking on things! He texted you something nice the next day, did you notice a correlation between you telling him you missed him and his message?
He might not be the most chivalrous guy but you are making it so much harder, even if he wanted to court you, it would be hard for him to do without feeling like you are blowing him off at every step. What do you expect from a guy? Crawling to you on his knees and begging you?
He messaged you and said it was nice to see you!! He suggested to spend a whole week-end together and go away somewhere, isn’t it romantic? Stop playing games, be sweet to him, flirt and show him your feelings, then he will open up to you and will show you his feelings more. You are not giving him any chance.
When you go away with him I suggest you use self control and restrain yourself from talking about your relationship, and especially do not start with your hypocritical pokes “things are weird between us”. They are not weird, you are playing games, that’s all. Let him enjoy the time with you and enjoy it yourself. But I have a feeling you are going to do the exact opposite. LOL well.. good luck!June 12, 2017 at 10:33 am #633777
Emma, I don’t think he’s in to her at all. “It was nice to see you” is the kind of message I would get from guys who liked me but not enough. He mentioned a weekend away; I’ve had guys who weren’t in love with me ask me to go away with them; guys do lots of things for consistent sex. I think he likes her, I don’t think he’s really invested. I’m with Jose on this. Dee is way more into him than he is into her.June 12, 2017 at 11:34 am #633791
@Emma -thank you – you’re right I am my worse enemy –
I do overanalyse things instead of just enjoying the moments and going with the flow. I have never said to him I wanted a relationship- all I ever said to him was I would like to see him regularly once – that one was the time we didn’t see each for nearly a month and things did change afterwards when I told him – but to every two weeks instead of once a week like it use to be before.
Yes I did cancelled on him on Saturday because I wanted him to know how it felt.
It does seem like he likes me but I agree I like him more – so I would like to slow down my feelings for him until he start showing more -which I think will be unlikely. But we will see
And the weekend away suggestion – he took that back after my little comment :(
Fran – I didn’t beg him for sex – I like this guy very much – I didn’t see him for over 13 days so of course I wanted to have sex with him – I don’t know why he wasn’t feeling it last night – – but he always been late back about sex but this was the first I initiate it.
One time when I was on my period – he asked if he could see me – and I told him I was on my period – and he did say “it’s not all about sex you know” which kinda too back.June 12, 2017 at 11:47 am #633795
Omg, I can’t read anymore of this. You cancelled on him bc you wanted him to know how it felt? You are playing games and behaving like a 13 year old little girl. This is all your own doing. You are appearing flakey and conniving to him and who wants anything to do with that? Look at your actions, would you want a relationship with you?
If you want a relationship with this man then stop playing games and act like an adult who knows how to communicate. I always treat my boyfriend in the manner that I want to be treated. I show by example. If he cannot do the same then he is not for me. You are being passive aggressive looking for a reaction from him which will get you nowhere. You really need to grow up.June 12, 2017 at 12:23 pm #633808
Dee, I said “practically begging.” There’s nothing wrong with initiating sex; but this sounds desperate. The dynamic of this is just appalling. You canceled on him out of retaliation? ….I can’t imagine doing any such thing to anyone, not even a friend.
The thing about guys is, you can’t change their minds. You should never have to convince a guy that he should be with you. The guy should have to convince you. It’s not possible to make a guy feel more than he does. If he isn’t really invested after several months, he isn’t going to be invested. This is all game-playing and manipulation. Any healthy relationship is based on open communication, honesty, understanding, and kindness. I doubt he’s on a forum asking about this. It’s not in the forefront of his mind. I know it seems too painful to let go, but sometimes you have to, in order to find the really really good stuff. This is low-hanging fruit. There are better apples in the orchard.June 12, 2017 at 1:36 pm #633835
When you told him things are strange and he asked you how, you became tongue tied and couldn’t express your feelings. Is there any really serious and coherent communication between both of you? This sounds like a cat and mouse relationship.
Communication, really honestly and calmly expressed with no drama, is the requirement here.June 12, 2017 at 2:10 pm #633848
Neither of us are deep talkers – he actually more expressive than me.
I do have a problem when I like someone I do get tongue tied to express myself freely.
From now on – I am gonna stop obsessing over everything he says and actually just speak to him freely – like someone here once said “he is not God” so yeah thanks everyone xJune 12, 2017 at 2:25 pm #633853
Dee-he has been “with” you for 4 months but you have gone a weeks, weeks and a month without seeing him-this is going no-where, he does not care about you much-sorry but you should just move on and stop waiting for nothing.June 12, 2017 at 2:37 pm #633855
Reading this was like banging my head up against the wall.
In your last thread you received some solid advice and yet you threw it out the window.
I’m starting to think you like the drama aspect of this relationship.
You two have poor communication, stand each other up, and both don’t seems to know where things are going.
What exactly do you want and what is stopping you from getting that?
I think you are getting in your own way and again showing truly weak boundaries.
When you can move past all these things only then will you have a healthy fulfilling relationship.
I wish you the best but, I will say this is a cautionary tale of how women find ways to sabotage relationships.June 12, 2017 at 3:33 pm #633868
Since you have made more posts about this guy, it sounds like he is more trouble than fun. I just dont think you two really can make it work, I mean, why do you wanna be with someone who makes you that confused and causes you to make multiple posts about him? Dude maybe I think you are just not ready to be in relationsship at the moment, you take things way too serious and that just cant work with someone like him. Maybe you should take some “me-time” and stop trying to find happiness within others.September 24, 2020 at 12:39 pm #814736
April E Dutton
Thank you for posting this. I googled He said I missed your company and read this. I can relate a little to your situation. I appreciate all the advice given. For the first time, (41 now) i had a guy tell me this and thought it was awkward yet i did not want to read too much into it. First, he told me that he misses me. I asked him what does he miss about me. He said that he misses my company. I did not ask further what he meant and figure that i would just observed his behavior and give him a chance. We separated in May after a 3 month relationship.September 25, 2020 at 4:46 am #814832
This is why I’m against sex before relationship. Bc rather one realizes or not, when you dont get the response you’re looking for, then you start to devalue yourself and feel like you’re just booty call. I would just play it cool and have fun at this point. You shouldn’t confront him for not giving you the response you wanted, and maybe the rejection is making you like him way too much.
Not to beat you down, but if one has to cancel, there is no need to punish the person by dropping out of a date. Also, just bc a guy has sex w.you does not mean he likes nor care. So try not to base things around having sex. You prolly looked tired, so that’s prolly why he was gonna head home. Good luck girl.