Getting Over a Crush


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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Better off single 5 days, 14 hours ago.

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  • #779744 Reply

    Liz

    Hello all, this is my first time posting on a forum in years, but I’m so desperate right now I really need some support. I’ve had this serious crush on a guy for the past year. He’s really been the only crush I’ve had in my adult life, I’m a very picky person (I know, this is a fault I’m trying to work on) and I don’t often find guys I really like a whole lot. This particular guy seems to be, this is going to sound cliche but it’s the way I feel, everything I could dream of. Not only that, but I feel a deeper connection with him in ways I can and can’t explain. We share so many similarities I feel like. I’ve seen him almost every week this past year because I volunteer weekly at a place he works. We’ve talked and texted, mostly about the work-related matters, but about personal things too, especially right after I first met him. He was in a relationship when I first met him, so I kept my distance, but then he broke up I kind of went a little crazy chasing him. I asked him out on two dates, both which seemed to go so well, except he told me on the second one, in terms similar to, “I’m not ready for another relationship now.” I never told him straight out how I feel but I know that he knows because of how I’ve acted. He’s entered my thoughts in some way almost every day for this past year and I’m mentally exhausted. I’ve never been able to build up enough strength or think up enough reasons to let him go. He seems to have just grown on me and become better to me more and more as the time has gone by. I need help with letting him go, and I don’t really know how. Please, any advice?

    #779770 Reply

    Better off single

    Focus on the facts:

    HE DOESN’T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

    Realize it’s such a waste of time pining for a guy who is emotionally unavailable.

    #779771 Reply

    Sylvia

    I agree it’s a waste of time but I feel you.
    Not to mention that one year crush is long! Liz, it’s a fantasy of this guy you crave but it’s most difficult to let go. You’re working, probably have hobbies, met some people during the year yet you still have a crush and it’s not diminishing. Clearly we need to find another way to deal with it.

    #780252 Reply

    Better off single

    Let the illusion of it becoming some perfect relationship go.

    It’s exciting finding someone you’re attracted to and there’s mutual attraction there when it doesn’t happen often for you. So i get why you’re having a hard time letting go.

    You’re better off going no contact and finding other things to do if/when he invites you over. He doesn’t want a relationship with you and it stings. Its better you’re finding this out now rather than later. I say never give up your pride to cater to a man who is indifferent.

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