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- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 2 years, 5 months ago by
Marie.
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Marie
Hi! A couple of nights ago, I went on a virtual date with someone I was chatting with online. In my eyes, it went well. However, I have not heard from him since. I know this is not the best sign! I was wondering if you had any advice on a nice follow-up text to send to try to get an answer or if it’s best to just leave it alone?
Have any of you experienced this before? If so, please let me know how you handled it. Your help is super appreciated.
AngieBaby
Please leave it alone. The silence is an answer. Don’t force him to reject you or make up excuses. If he’s interested, he’ll contact you. Some guys won’t call right away after a date because they don’t want to appear desperate. So don’t you go chasing him and appear desperate either.
The correct attitude dating online after a first date, if it well well, is: well, that was fun. I’d see him again if he asked. Who’s next or what else have I got going on? And that’s as much thought and energy as you give it.
Liz Lemon
AngieBaby is right. Just let it be. You may still hear from him anyway. After my first date with my bf (together about 4 years now), it took him a few days to contact me. I just waited patiently, he got in touch and it worked out fine (obviously!).
If he is not interested in pursuing things with you, contacting him won’t change that. It’ll just make you look desperate. And if he does intend to contact you soon, then you contacting him will make you look like you’re chasing. Neither scenario is good.
Just wait and see what happens. Try to adopt the mindset Angiebaby described.
Lane
Agree, a blow off means “I’m not interested” which is OK as you don’t want to waste your time on a guy who isn’t interested, no differently than you would want to be pestered, harassed or harangued by a guy you aren’t interested in.
Do not pursue men! If its not a HELL YES, then its a hell NO! Need to accept that not every man you meet is going to fall for you, no differently than you are going to fall for every man you meet—it MUST be mutual. Be the woman who can say “I am worthy of a great man who treats me like a queen” and only spend your time with those guys, yes, multiple (so to increase your who’s really the best guy for me options) that are trying to wrangle you into a relationship, if not, then walk :o)
Marie
Thank you all for your advice! It’s so easy to fall into the trap of chasing sometimes, but it’s best not to. Your posts and advice helped to keep me strong in knowing that not everyone will fall for me, and that’s ok. I don’t want to come off anxious or needy. It will be obvious when it’s the right one.
He did end up contacting me, so I am thankful to have waited it out.
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