Do men you briefly dated ever come back?

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This topic contains 20 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Patti 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #681451 Reply


    I’ve had so many friends the past few days tell me, I feel like this guy is going to come back.

    But after a few dates, and he tells you that he isn’t feeling it, I feel like it’s a nail in the coffin. I’ve been debating this and friends think I’m off!

    Sure , if we had dated for a few months but a few dates!?

    I Am not sitting around and wait for this guy. But I’d like to hear if anyone had a story where this has happened

    #681453 Reply


    Guys who tend to come back are here for the following:

    – Sex
    – An ego boost (because they recently got dumped or a dating situation did not work out)
    – Boredom
    – And last but, not least a genuine second chance

    Its rarely the latter, so if a guy who told you he wasn’t feeling or ended comes back really think about it. Do you really want to revisit a chapter you already read?

    #681463 Reply


    Not a guy who said “he wasn’t feeling it”

    But guys who I’ve been imitate with – and didn’t work out for whatever reason – there was attractions or unfinished business – always came back.

    But if a guy is not feeling you after few dates – why would he come back.

    #681482 Reply


    Are the chances high he’ll come back? Hell yeah!

    Are the chances high he’s worth reconsidering? Hell no!

    #681499 Reply


    Hm interesting question –

    I’ve dated guys briefly, and only one came back with a lazy text of “Yo, what’s up.”
    To which I completely ignored and didn’t respond, because I was already seeing someone that I was interested in (this ended up going for 4 more months), but ultimately, I was happier with someone else, and didn’t feel the need to respond to his lazy crumb of a text.

    Honestly, I’d be wary of a man who came back around, period (irregardless of how long you’ve dated, had sex etc etc). He needs to come back changed and hungry to want something with me again, and to show that THIS TIME around things will work, and he’s in it together to fix and grow together, build a deeper connection w/ each other. Now, most of the times, this doesn’t happen and it’s usually lazy texts or calls that men come back with, that women tend to fall for. So, unless it’s a real dedicated, committed attempt of “I f*cked up, I want to be with you again, let’s give it another go and let go of the past” then I am not putting my chances on him.

    Move on w/ your life, and be the best version of yourself you possibly can. If the stars align, he will notice your new, improved self and might want to come back around to know that person, OR you will attract someone even better, more dedicated and willing to go deeper w/ you. Best of luck to you, and continue focusing on yourself. The right man will show up, as long as you keep trying and don’t give up after being rejected.

    #681500 Reply


    If a guy tells you he isn’t feeling it after a few dates, I’d listen to him. Otherwise why would he have said it? Your girlfriends really don’t know anything.

    If he did come back, it would only be for one thing. Please don’t go there..

    #681517 Reply


    Well meaning girl-friends who adore you often give the worst advice and predictions when it comes to your love life. They are rooting for your happily ever after (as the should), but they seem to advise like your life is a perfectly scripted romantic comedy. Guys won’t follow their script, and you shouldn’t either.

    I don’t think this guy will come back in any meaningful way. You deserve a guy who whole heartedly adores you. He will find you, and there will be no room for doubt. :)

    #681525 Reply


    If a really fine man asked you out, and then you blew him off, why would you suddenly contact him? Only if you viewed him as someone so pathetic, that they might entertain your “hey, what’s up?”

    #681530 Reply


    I think that if a man said “he is not feeling it”, he won’t be back. Why would he? He already knows he had no spark with you. It’s his feelings, he knows how he felt. He would look for someone new with whom he’d be “feeling it”.

    If there was any other reason than yes, chances are very high, but as someone said above, those reasons are almost never “good”, so you need to be very careful.

    But if a man genuinely wants a second chance he is not going to send you the text “I am sorry I want a second chance” right off the bat. He would first try and test the waters, so he’d start with a hi how have you been, then exchange a few conversations, then coffee, etc etc. it is understandable because he doesn’t know if you’ve moved on, if you even remember him in any romantic way, he might be setting himself up for a rejection or an embarrassment, if you are with someone new for example. So if you still want him and he sends you are hi how are you text (but a little more polite than the example above), with more effort of course, then you can reply to him. But if you see that he is not trying to ask for a second chance, then do not set yourself up for an emotional trap of being his nurse or rebound or an ego booster.

    #681554 Reply


    Sorry, but your FRIENDS ARE OFF! What part of “i’m not feeling it” are they not getting? If a guy told me “I’m not feeling it” it would be ADIOS and good bye forever!

    Your right, friends are wrong, move on.

    #681558 Reply


    Maybe he will come back and maybe he won’t. Please forget him and don’t waste your own time asking questions that don’t have an answer.

    #734899 Reply


    I realize this question is a year old, but I’m dealing with this myself right now. I dated someone a couple of years ago. He was recently divorced after 25 years at the time. I felt we met each other at the wrong time. He wasn’t ready to make an effort into having a relationship, but he wanted to keep things light. Needless to say he felt things getting more ‘relationship’ oriented than he wanted, he cut things off. He’s been texting me here and there, off and on since then. Here we are two years later and he would like to see me. As mentioned above, he’s keeping it ‘friendly’ right now, but I get the feeling he’s going to migrate over to wanting to see me again. I’m in a quandary as to whether to go down that road again. I don’t mind us being friendly, but I don’t know if I want to take another chance with him and him dumping me again.

    #734902 Reply


    3 words = No Thank You

    #734904 Reply


    you might want to check the term “floaters”.

    Men know that it is easier to get sex with an ex than with a ne woman. It is also easier for them to act like a-holes as well. No “new” damage for THEM.

    It is easy to get elated when an “ex” contacts you, I’ve been there myself more times than I would want to admit LOL but in the long term it always ends up causing YOU pain. Whereas he’d be feeling like a king.

    Besides keep in mind, chances are you are not the only one he’s been checking on all the time. He might be rotating women on a roaster, feeling himself sultan Suleiman LOL

    A man needs to prove it to you that you are really special to him and that he is willing to do a lot of win you back (and actually do those things, not just say that he is willing).

    Do not let some dork to float in and out of your life, boosting and pampering his ego, while causing stress to you. LOL

    #734913 Reply


    Yes, they come back without fail, but it would have to be more than two or three dates, in my experience. If it was three dates or less, it would be a no.

    #739741 Reply


    I know this post is over a year old but I am dealing with the same issue at the moment. We dated briefly and it was SUPER INTENSE. He walked away without even a by-your-leave. Blocked me every which way. I would get texts from google numbers and I knew his email address so things got heated and very nasty. I have a horrific temper that when ignited, is absolutely unmanageable. I decided to walk away for both of our sakes because it was taking a dangerous turn. Lo and behold! He texts me wanting to explain why he just disappeared. Wanting to give me closure. So he said. We talked, and he apologized profusely for hurting me. And we resolved to become friends because we really did have a great connection and rapport. Now he wants to reconcile. I would, but I am scared. He has been upfront with everything thus far and we are moving at a snail’s pace, a far cry from the first time around! But I still have my doubts. We’ll see.

    #739751 Reply


    “I have a horrific temper that when ignited, is absolutely unmanageable. ” – OMG, exactly what do you do in those episodes?

    and what are “google numbers”? and how do you know it was him? I get weird calls too, and so do many people.

    #739770 Reply


    Be very wary.
    These guys come back & then disappear again.

    #739775 Reply


    I’ve had this happen without the ghosting, amicable stop, but I can’t fall back into the feelings I had before plus not wanting to get hurt. Raven was correct and he did disappear again even though we dated again a few times…he had personal issues and as I suspected they were not resolved so I’m glad I didn’t get invested again…

    #797998 Reply

    Abi I

    Funnily enough, I was seeing someone last year and things were brief but good and consistent. Then he slowly started ghosting me, so I then removed him off my social media and temporarily blocked him before not talking to him ever again. A year later, I randomly go on his profile (which I never do, honest lol), click on his story (his profile is public) and came off as quick as I came on. He then whatspped me within minutes and explained that his mum had cancer at the time which was why he went quiet. I was so shocked and felt awful but I understood as my own mum was diagnosed with cancer many years before she passed. He also apologised for leaving me in the dark and said that he owed me another date. I agreed but now I’m thinking about a few things…and what I’m going to say to him. I understand why he couldn’t open up but even if he just said “I’m going through something, now isn’t a good time” or whatever at the time then I would have been fine, but no communication is a bit red flaggy to me. I will see. I’ve been understanding so far, but I want to balance that with not rushing anything, taking things slow and maybe just halting anything romantic. But already we are talking again like no time passed. I will see.

    #798051 Reply


    You are lucky he was actually honest and spelled it out for you. A lot of people just ghost without a word, leaving you wondering what happened.

    I don’t think he’ll come back around. Please move on.

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