Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › Did I even start No Contact good and is NC worth it in my situation?
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by
Lane.
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Xabr1
So I’ve been with my girl for 2 years. We’ve seen each other like once a week cause she lived 30km away from me. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago and went to collage on the other side of the country right after. She never went to clubs with me, she didn’t like new people. Right now she’s going to clubs and meeting people from all across the city. We messaged each other for like a week after our breakup but I said to her that it’s too painfull for me and if she doesn’t want to give us another chance it would be better if we break contact. So she replied that it will be better if we go our separate ways. I thanked her for everything, she did too and said that it’s too soon to even think about friendship. 5 minutes after that she asked me about my profile picture on facebook cause I uploaded some stupid one but I didn’t replay to that anymore and ignored it. She didn’t message me anything more after that and our conversation is just hanging on her question. Right now I’m one week into no contact. She had our photo on her background on facebook even after our breakup and she deleted it yesterday. So did I even start No Contact good ignoring her question? Won’t she get mad at me? Also is no contact even worth it considering she’ll comeback in december and overall she’s social now and having fun when she always stayed at home in 2 years of our relationship and was so antisocial? I don’t think she even has the time to think about me, she has so much going on in her life. Collage, so many new people… I don’t know what to do anymore, I really want her back ;/
Raven
30 km = 18.5 miles… That’s not a big distance…
Why did this short distance keep you apart?j
What goes up, must come down.
Of course she will miss you, as you have been together for 2 years so she will most defiantly miss/think of you.
Whats probably happened is that she’s had a quiet, anti social life with you for two years & now, she’s starting to experience a new world and a new way. of living, i.e going out, having fun & she’s started to see the world from new eyes. She’s liking here new life of going out and clubbing. People change and she is discovering a new sense of self and a new world. She’s potentially seen this new world as a complete change from her old life and wants to break from you too. The grass is always greener syndrome. This life will be fun and amazing for so long, but give this lifestyle a bit of time and it will become less of a novelty. Like everything after a while, the fun wears off.
There will come a point when she will think and miss you. To what extent, I am not sure if that will be enough for her to want you back, however humans most definitely want what we can’t have.
Going NC is the best way to gain higher chances of her coming back because by you removing yourself from her life, you are giving her a chance to experience life without you in it. She’s been comfortable with you for two years, when she no longer has access to you, then she will start to wonder about you.
I always go NC after a break up, not to gain them back but to heal and 95% of the time ex’s have tried to get me back. I use NC to heal however, because I don’t think you can be so active in an ex’s life without feelings being present.
Xabr1
@Raven I’ve got a phobia about traveling. I can’t drive by anything because I can’t breathe when accelerating, even very careful. I had to travel to her 1 hour via bus and psychiatrist said that I can’t do it because it’s too dangerous for my heart. The only way I can drive is by a car. I’m doing driving license now so if I ever get her back now I could visit her, even considering that I’d have to drive across the whole country
Xabr1
I mean my phobia is really complicated. I can drive by a car just because I can stop whenever I want and I don’t have this comfort in bus for example so I’m beginning to panic because oh, it won’t stop when I can’t take a breath. I’m going to psychotherapist to get rid of my phobia so it’ll be good. But it doesn’t matter now, I just want her back
Anon 2
How are you going to drive if you’re so terrified you can’t breathe?
Raven
Your responding to therapy will not be an overnight change…
Xabr1
It’s really hard to describe how I feel. I mean when I’m driving, or I’m in a car with someone I know and I have on mind that we can slow down or stop when I can’t breathe it gives me a lot of comfort. I can’t drive by a bus or train cause I’m panicking that it won’t stop. I have my phobia since like 2005 so yeah, I’m happy that at least I can travel by a car till I get rid of it. Until then traveling by a car especially when I’m driving will do.
But regarding to my original question, what can I do to get the best out of my chances to get her back? Would be so thankful for your help
Lane
As hard as this, you really need to stop relying on her so much as it sounds like she was the center of your world, felt trapped, and wanted to break free from it.
I highly suggest you learn how to become self reliant. Continue to set goals, such as tackling your phobia, then set another, and another until your able to survive on your own two feet instead of standing on a woman’s. Show her your improving, because you are *actively* improving where she may come around if she see’s enough positive changes in you, if not, she’s going to meet and latch on to a reliable fun guy.
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