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Jo.
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Dolly
I’m currently living with my partner of 3 yrs. we’ve known each other for 6 yrs. I’ve recently been diagnosed with PTSD due to violence in my workplace. Needless to say, dealing with this condition has been a nightmare. What I find even more troubling is my partner’s lack of compassion and empathy. He doesn’t show any signs of affection. He stopped touching me. If we go out, he doesn’t hold my hand. He walks in front of me, as though to show we’re not together. I’m thinking, he is having an affair. It’s the small things that I’ve noticed: later nights at the office. Frequent lunches out( he stopped taking his prepared lunch from home). Recently we went out and the passenger seat of his car smelled flowery. The passenger mat was wet. I asked him if he carpooled with his employees to his holiday luncheon and he fumbled his way thru his response. I’m currently being treated by a psychologist who specializes in PTSD and trauma, and have yet to discuss this with her. I’m wondering, until my next appointment, what are your thoughts?
Newbie
The problem with a trauma like ptss or other mental issues is that youre not the only one suffering from it. Partners and family suffer too in dealing with specific behaviour for example. It could be that he, dealing with his issues, slowly detached because the examples you are given show a lack of interest and care. If that also means he is cheating i cant tell obviously. I dont even think thats the main issue now. If you got the diagnose ptss recently, then now is the time to talk to each how this affected your relationship from both perspectives. Thats the only way to find out if the bond is still strong. If it is he may need some councelling too
Better off single
Its unfortunate you’re going through this.
You might be pushing him away because of your condition without even realizing it
Focus on the facts
Take some space and time for yourself
Whenever you feel anxious or something triggers your ptsd, do your best to stop it (its going to take a few times and it will be uncomfortable) have some affirmations for yourself to get through it.
Think positive thoughts
Watch lots of comedy
Let the past go because it’s behind you now.Jo
BOS that’s an unbelievably naive post. You clearly know nothing about PTSD.
OP regardless of whether he’s having an affair, and personally I think he is, do you really want a partner who won’t be there for you when you need him? Yes, PTSD is hard on those close to you, but you deserve a partner who will be supportive, hard or not.
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