This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Sensy 6 days, 4 hours ago.
May 23, 2020 at 4:42 pm #791452
Hello, hope everyone is coping well in this strange time. My bf has been texting and phoning me less and less. At first I thought it was because of the pandemic but no. When lockdown first came about, he would still initiate texts and phone me at said time. If he promised to phone, he’d phone. For the past three weeks, he would take hours to text me back and never follow up on calls when he said he would.
My question is, is he losing interest? Is he seeing someone? Tbh I’m a bit annoyed when he can go 12 hours without replying to my simple text. I know I can’t control his texting habits and he could be busy. I asked him a few days ago what’s up and he said nothing. What should I do and what do you think could be happening?May 23, 2020 at 5:14 pm #791453
How long are you in this relationship and what is the last time you have seen each other?
And are you always the one starting to text? I would stop doing that and see what he does. It looks like he did loose interest so the best way to find out is to sit back.
If this is a relative short relationship like between 2-5 months i would say he lost interest for sureMay 23, 2020 at 10:10 pm #791459
It seems to me like he lost interest too.May 25, 2020 at 10:08 pm #791511
It depends on how long you have known each other and how close you are.
If he’s a stable boyfriend of several months or more, then talk to him – ask him if he’s OK and ask him if he’s noticed that he’s been a bit more distant and preoccupied. Perhaps he’s struggling with lockdown or worrying about his job. You should be able to weather big problems together if you’re compatible so it’s important to be able to talk, and I can see why it would strain things if he doesn’t reply in a timely manner. Even with an established relationship lack of time for each other can ruin things in the long run.
If he’s someone you are casually dating ( 2 month of lockdown don’t count TBH) or a very new boyfriend who youre not used to discussing feelings with, then it’s trickier. I’d say yeah, if you don’t have a long and intmite history with him, then maybe it’s time to pull back and see what he does. If he can’t make the effort, then he’s disengaging from the relationship. A guy in the early stages of dating should be excited to talk, and a little scared he’ll lose you if he doesn’t keep your interest. It’s not a good sign if he doesn’t reply all day. Now, we all have jobs and priorities – my BF and I know that if either of us is at work or with friends, a reply will be hours coming. But if your guy is usually been able to reply in a timely manner because he should feel aware that he’s left you waiting.
I mean he could be pulling away in either circumstance. Or he could be preoccupied or depressed in either circumstance. But when you have that history and intimacy with a longstanding BF you can raise things in a way you can’t with a guy who’s known you for two weeks. If a guy you barely know pulls away, you let him go.
In some ways, I find it odd how we put so much emphasis on the point of exclusivity /becoming BF/GF/calling it a relationship. When in actual fact that’s still really early days, particularly if some people commit early. That doesn’t automatically make you emotionally intimate or ready to share yourselves with each other – and it doesn’t mean you know each other very well, yet. Relationships aren’t just a set of gates you get through (exclusivity, going steady, engaged, married), but an entire spectrum of intimacy and experience in dealing with each other’s emotions.May 26, 2020 at 11:20 am #791535
Simply peel the energy off of him and put it onto yourself. Things will work out that way and you will be with him if he is feeling it.