Boyfriend follows instagram "models"?

I mean… seriously? These are “IG models”, they don’t want to get with your boyfriend, and they aren’t messaging your boyfriend. My husband follows these girls on IG too, I got all flustered and pissy about it too – I realized it came from my insecurities with how I looked – I went to the gym, lost 40 lbs, toned my a** and now I could care less because I feel secure with myself. And at the end of the day, who really cares? It’s probably just for a “release” if you think about it, and it was probably just coincidence it happened after you started dating – you’re kind of thinking way too much into it. If you’re secure with yourself and your boyfriend, what does it really matter? And you obviously don’t trust him if you automatically want him to start unfollowing them.. he’s going to look at him if he’s following them or not, you can’t control his every move.

If you’re THAT uncomfortable talk to him about it, talk to him politely and kindly about it, but I am telling you now this is a fight not worth having and better letting go. I’d personally only confront IF these were ex’s, past lovers, or someone he’s cheated on you with, not “public figures” who have 15.2 million followers who will never bat an eye at your man and honestly not people you should be that bothered about. If you’re insecure about your body then make positive changes to make yourself feel better so you don’t feel intimidated by (lets face it) fake people on IG.

Thanks everyone. I’m trying my best to let it go.

Fran – none of these girls are following him. No offense but these girls are way out of his league 😂

My bf follows insta hoes and they follow him bacl. I caught him ( he actually admitted) once he was kinda flirting with them online! He says he loves me and wanna get married. He is a decent person. He is honest if I ask. He says he follows them because he has insecurities as a man and it kinda gives him an ego boost! I told him several times not to follow thise hoes however I just saw he followed a new one. These hoes suppose to be mutual friends from the music industry whatsoeva! I hate it and I’m so pissed but I don’t wanna look insecure. What am I suppose to do? Any mature ideas?

hahah I am glad Anne ohio said this. I was thinking t myself, am I the only one who’d never deal with a dude if he does all those “follows”. I honestly think that an intelligent mature man would not be “following models on instagram”. I know teenagers (boys!) who think it is stupid. Duh!

I think its an age difference TBH. The women in their 20’s and early 30’s are dating guys raised on easy access to porn and women on insta who post soft core porn. Older men had to go buy videos or hit the strip club or subscribe to playboy.

So yeah, it’s easy to say “don’t date a guy that goes on instagram” or my technology challenged 50 year old man would NEVER friend insta hoes.

As I online date the first thing I notice- if he’s under 30, he friends me on IG. If he’s over 40, he doesn’t have IG.

As for following IG models, guys like to look at all sorts of pretty women. If he really loves and values you, it is not just about how you look.

OP, what kind of boundaries you set regarding these things is a personal decision.

I really don’t like the assumptions such as “all men do this” or “most men do it” so just let it slide. If it makes you uncomfortable, I do think it is best to talk it out and figure out the reasons. And I’m not saying tell him to stop, but to just have a discussion about it and find out if it is something you can live with. I am friends with plenty of guys that don’t do this!

My ex of 11 years never looked at porn and we actually had a discussion once because I did and he didn’t like it and we mutually came to the conclusion that what he didn’t like was not sharing it with me, and so we started watching it together. I have known some women who didn’t give a fib that their partner watched porn all the time and some where it was a deal breaker.

so generally, there really are all kinds when it comes to this and it truly comes down to what you are comfortable with. If it doesn’t bother you, then it doesn’t matter!

It’s hurtful seeing women your guy finds attractive. It’s natural for a woman to then compare herself with them. Even though more than half of them have had surgeries, and filtered and doctored the photos, these men still fall for it. If I were you, I’d start following gorgeous men. I did this with my last guy, and he became so upset with me. That showed me he had bad intentions, AND he learned a lesson. He stopped following chicks. Point is – follow some men back.

I think he gave you an honest answer. Questioms: it seems you might not have a mutually beneficial sex life. Either he cant or wont tell you what he needs and may need you to be a madonna and he finds the who-re…. elsewhere due to shame. I would really think about if this is a good relationship and if you can explore more sexually. If not, I suggest you end it. Unless you are ok with him actively using porn. I personally am ok with occasional and strippers at a bachelor party, but not regular for either.

If your BF has behaviors that don’t align with your own personal values then walk away. This happened to me and my now ex BF had been following very provocative and very young half naked female accounts and also had been paying for only fans. I found out because one of my children felt the guy was fishy and he researched him. Some of the girls were girls my child was in high school with. I did have a conversation with him about it. He threw it back on me saying why was I stalking him. He then learned how to make his accounts private and he blocked my child.

Its a very personal choice. For me, it was a values thing. That behavior just did not align with my values. I have sons and it was important to me to be involved with good examples of stable honorable men. I later found out he was a cheater and a liar so it helped me get out before too much damage was done.

But… what I learned is if it doesn’t sit right in my gut – that is my intuition talking. And if I have to overthink about it or analyze it to death – then I already know the answer.

Good luck. I hope you value yourself enough to not settle.