Advice needed..

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lane 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #783371 Reply


    30/f here. I need some advice… I am not a virgin (I’ve had 5 partners) but i am pretty unexperienced sexually. I know how important ‘sexual chemistry’ is and I do have a decent libido (i think?!! I would be willing to have sex every other day if i had someone lol) so i don’t feel asexual, but i feel like i am wasting my prime years. I am putting myself out there more now, making an effort on my dating life but the thought of telling a guy my age, ‘hey by the way.. i’m kind of unexperienced’) makes me feel like he will GO RUNNING. Any advice for broaching the subject ?

    #783379 Reply


    I would not consider a woman who is 30 and has had 5 sexual partners to be inexperienced! You sound pretty fine,normal to me. I would not bring it up. Guys don’t really want to know how many people you have slept with anyway. Zip it- don’t talk, and quit worrying about it.

    #783380 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    What does “unexperienced” mean to you, OP? Do you mean you haven’t tried different/kinky positions or whatever?

    I don’t think you should discuss it at all. Especially when you’re first dating someone! I don’t think I’ve ever asked a partner, or been asked by a partner, about the number of people he/I have slept with. It’s just not something anyone needs to ask.

    If you what you mean is that you lack experience doing different positions or kinky stuff, again, I wouldn’t stress about it. When you get to the point with a new partner where you feel comfortable and want to try something new (a new position, or whatever) just tell him. Say, I’ve never done it this way and I want to try it.
    Guys aren’t gonna ask a lot of questions! They’re usually happy to oblige if you want to try new positions or experiment with sex. Of course I’m not referring to kink/fetish stuff here (that’s a whole different conversation), just your mainstream run of the mill sexual positions and stuff like that.

    #783382 Reply


    You don’t need to broach it unless its an actual problem. Every man and woman experiences sex differently where some have learned how to please a woman or man and others haven’t because they don’t know that all women are different or women are afraid to openly discuss it and tell them what works for her and what doesn’t. The biggest problem I see, of which I was guilty of too when I was young and inexperienced, is that you are afraid to tell the man he doesn’t give you any pleasure so you fake it in just to be with him but all it does it makes you sexually frustrated and end up breaking up because your unsatisfied with the relationship.

    Thankfully, when I was dating my ex husband, he loved me enough to want to learn my body and what gave me pleasure, to the point I had my first orgasm and was like “wow, this is what great sex feels like!” Having sex with each other had become so pleasurable that we had lots and lots and lots of it, heck its what primarily kept us married for 20+ years, a decade longer than we should have lol.

    If you know your body, know where your pleasure spots and feel comfortable exploring it with a partner by showing him through touch, body movements and/or saying “don’t stop, that feels sooooo good” and also asking him what he likes—then all you have to do is practice until you are both truly pleasured and want to do a lot and lots of sheet wrestling with each other :o)

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