This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Lane 1 month, 1 week ago.
February 24, 2020 at 3:23 pm #786039
I’ve met this guy on a dating app before Christmas, but because we were both spending time with our families and friends we agreed to meet after the holidays. So a few days before Christmas I texted him asking about our plans and when did he wanted to meet and he told me that he had met a girl he was really interested in and he wanted to do it right by her so he wouldn’t feel comfortable seeing me, even though he still liked me, but not as much as before. I told him off and we went our separate ways until we started talking to each other again around late January-early February. He apologized, said that girl turned out to be a horrible person and that he knew he made a bad decision, so we both agreed to take things slow and agreed to get a Sunday roast at the pub. But we had to cancel our plans because that Sunday was the day a massive storm hit Scotland, so trains got cancelled and everything was chaos. I ended up asking him out again this Sunday, but at 6 am he texted me an essay saying that he got sick, spent the night puking with his head around the toliet and didn’t want me to catch whatever it is that he has.
So when he called to apologize I snapped at him. Massively. Because it sounded like bulls**t, like he was toying with me and I was feeling stupid but all the time he kept apologizing and insisted that he do wants to go out with me. Then I’ve finished the argument telling him his words mean nothing and that if that’s what he truly wants, he has to prove it with his actions, by asking me out next time.
I’ve decided going no contact because I’m heartbroken and emotionally drained by all this. I believe there’s a chance he wasn’t lying about being sick but the problem is, now that I’m pulling back I’m just scared that he’ll never come around again because he’s not as interested as I am and that terrifies me because I really really like him and don’t want him to cut me off but I don’t think there’s much I can do and also, I’m exhausted of always being the one asking him out, going after him. I feel like I’m the only one putting an effort.
Real advice appreciated. CheersFebruary 24, 2020 at 3:28 pm #786122
All this for a guy you’ve never met?!February 24, 2020 at 3:34 pm #786123
The short answer is: No, it won’t work. You’ve never met this person. No contact only works when you’ve established a relationship and a bond, because it gives the guy a chance to realize what his life would be like without you, and hopefully realize he’s made a mistake. It doesn’t work for someone you’ve never met!
Additional comment: He told you he blew you off for another woman and yet you agreed to take him back a month later?! And you say you are “always being the one asking him out, going after him.”? This guy is not interested in you. He’s possibly stringing you along for an ego boost, but he’s not interested in meeting. Move on.February 24, 2020 at 3:34 pm #786124
He originally had ou, then met someone better, now its not worked out with her? he’s back to you?
If he liked you enough? He wouldn’t have been tempted by another girl he ‘likes better’
No contact is game playing, if you like him? be mature about it and communicate – keep us postedFebruary 24, 2020 at 3:36 pm #786125
For the record? If a guy tried to come back to me after things went wrong with a girl he liked better? I wouldn’t even entertain it. He’s not that into you.February 24, 2020 at 5:13 pm #786126
I agree with Liz, no contact is NOT going to work with some guy you haven’t even met! There is no bond there with him and he’ll probably move on to the next girl and not even think about you again! Not only that but YOU were the one asking this guy out. If a guy is interested he’s going to ask you out instead of other girls he’s interested in. Not sure why you told off a guy for being honest when you’d never even had a chance to meet. Then you make another Sunday date and he gets sick (probably hung over) and you “massively snapped at him”. Why exactly would a guy even want to ask you out if you react this way to everything? You need to get a grip.
Also to be heartbroken over a man you’ve never met and be so exhausted and emotionally drained means you are WAY more invested than you should be in this STRANGER! What is there to really, really like about a guy who ditched you for another girl, came back when things didn’t work with them and then stands you up for another date? Why exactly are you a Sunday date anyway? Why weren’t you good enough for a Friday night or Saturday night date? Doesn’t matter because this guy is only mildly interested and you need to stop begging men to date you!!February 24, 2020 at 5:39 pm #786128
Its time to move and don’t look back.
Never be anyone’s back plan or second best in life. The fact that you are willing to accept this tell me you need to do some work on yourself.
Do not reach out to him again or cave in if he reaches out to you.February 24, 2020 at 7:17 pm #786134
It was over when he put another girl before you..February 24, 2020 at 7:54 pm #786139
Find a man who asks you out. Drop this man and move on.February 24, 2020 at 11:40 pm #786153
You are taking dating waaaaay toooooo seriously!!!
A man does not OWE you a date! If HE asks you out and bails, you bail back and stop talking to him unless he has good excuse and even then you don’t get angry, you simply WATCH and OBSERVE to see if it was a ‘one off’ or a bigger case of not interested.
You need to chill out and stop DEMANDING a man take you out on a date! Men ask you out, if they don’t or they stop, its because they don’t want to date you. If you want to be the guy then set the place, time, and pay for it. If you want to be the lady, then learn how to act like one; stop being so darned angry with a guy you’ve never even met, and especially one who blew you off for another! Honestly, I highly doubt you will ever hear or see this one because you probably act or behave like the one he just ditched.