Why do men always talk about themselves

Men are more likely than women to be autistic and therefore lack empathy. Perhaps these men are high functioning Aspergers or autistic who are left on the shelf and don’t know how to communicate.

Definitely not the sharpest tools in the shed. And I also agree with your statement above what the point

It is proving that men are also astonishingly mind boggingly boring time and time again also.

As a male I have met many wonderful woman and love my wife, finding she says things I never thought of. Nevertheless I don’t even expect her to work that hard on being interesting, why should we expect one another to work that hard. Maybe if Stephen is so sad he must be dating women who are a reflection of Himself.

Where are you finding all these chatty men? The last few dates I’ve been on has been like a silent movie. Unless I ask them something they won’t talk. But to address your concern, one of the main reasons they would dominate the conversation is when they feel they are not getting anything from you. How was your end? Did you at least attempt to talk about yourself? Conversations are a two-way street, even if he didn’t directly ask a question, you should be able to share your insights and connect with your date.

The man I would see a future with is someone I can share with become intimate with and have a bond with. It wouldn’t be some man who goes on about himself solidly for 2 hours straight without a thought for his date. It’s called give and take.

Thank goodness for the andersons in this world.

This is my experience 75% of my dates. And I do know how to break in and say “when I was in grad school…” or “when I was in Madrid, I thought…”. And sadly that still doesn’t raise the curiosity or awareness in these types that now it’s time to give me a chance to share, and get responses on my topics, for even a couple sentences. What always happens is you get your one sentence, they nod, and jump right back on to what they were saying about themselves as if you haven’t even talked. Then I tend to feel bad, like I must be boring, even if I can see this guy is self-absorbed.

Learning to interrupt or interject about myself even when he isn’t showing interest took work and courage, and I’m still glad I do it even if it doesn’t get the desired results most of the time.

What I haven’t done is called them out specifically for the disproportionate amount of time, or the fact that they are supposed to be getting to know me too, and be interested in me and my thoughts and experiences.

So I really want to thank a couple of women here who shared their blunt style with us because for someone like me that would have never occurred to me as a possibility, or my brain would tell me it’s horrifically rude. Obviously if someone is yapping your ear off and ignoring your attempts to be anything other than a passive audience to them, they are the rude one. So it was very inspiring to see the woman above share that after she pointed out to the man that he had not asked her a single question, he suddenly became aware and apologized. Or the person who suggested saying “now that I’ve learned about you, do you have any questions for me?”

Just think what would happen if all of us polite, pleasing, good listeners had a knee jerk reaction of immediately putting down a boundary on how much self absorption and conversational narcissism we are willing to put up with. I am inspired…

I’ve met lots of men as well as women like this and I don’t keep them around because they don’t have enough emotional intelligence for me to want to keep a friendship or relationship with. I mean, if you can’t see you’re talking too much and all about yourself then you’re just not my kinda people.

I dated this guy once who a mutual friend set us up. He made dinner plans for us which I didn’t really want as a first date but since we had a mutual friend I was like ok.

All that guy did was talk about himself and his job. So much so that he’d actually say things TWICE! It was crazy! By the end of the date he offered to walk me to my car and he made a joke about not even knowing what I did for work or my last name. I just laughed it off because by that point I had no desire for him to even remember me by that point.

He texted to go out again the next day and I legit ghosted him. He seriously deserved it IMO. When our mutual friend said he hadn’t heard from me, I told her he had himself to keep him company and I’m very sure she told him which was fine.

He then proceeded to blow my phone up apologizing and asking for another chance. I remained a ghost. He basically treated me like a ghost on our date so I was just fine with keeping that role.

People who only talk about themselves are annoying.

Oh I did want to add that it seems to be what a man does in the particular situation of a date because he is nervous. Sitting face to face at dinner and talking directly about your life when someone is asking you questions about you and summing up if they are attracted to you and might want to sleep with you makes them nervous. When they were doing it I noticed they didn’t look at me at all. Men seem to be approaching dates like a job interview. When they like you. When they don’t I have found them to not make any conversation effort and be like a shut door, even more uncomfortable situation! Women might be approaching it like an interrogation, adding the points up and analysing their personality and lifestyle. I think it’s important that we learn to accept men and women’s differences and communicate our needs clearly. Through this phenomenon I am learning to express my needs without feeling rude. A huge lesson for me.

imo maybe it’s okay to comment on old posts like these. Because it’s not a personal story but a discussion. Amd even if there’s only one comment once in a while, it can still serve as a useful running collection of experiences and opinions

// The only thing I can personally add is that I’ve noticed if I’m genuinely interested/pursuing a girl there is a significant change in how interested I am in getting to know her i.e. it seems like I never run out of things I may want to know- preferences, hypothetical scenarios, tastes, opinions etc.

But keyword: significant. Because I’m naturally a curious person and generally want to know about people, including males, just for conversation, or because I’m in the moment coughorfigureoutwhatmakesthemtickcough.