This topic contains 44 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Alice 1 month, 1 week ago.
January 24, 2018 at 7:26 pm #680706
Been on a few first dates with guys and I’m so over it. Nearly all of them just talk about them selves and their life stories without even asking me any questions.
I’ve noticed it’s a trend lately with the men I’m dating. This one guy literally just sat there and talked about himself for three hours straight. He mainly talked about his business, his kids, his car, his past life and divorce. Only once did he ask me one question about myself. I was nodding like an idiot throughout the whole date. I couldn’t even get a word in to comment on whatever he was saying. Wtf. I’m all about sharing and conversation but it has to go two ways. I felt like a freaking therapist on the first date.January 24, 2018 at 7:39 pm #680713
I would have cut that date short after one hour if the convo was one sided.
Do you talk to these men before the date? Perhaps try having a 30 minute convo before the date. If they are all about them in that conversation don’t go out with them.January 24, 2018 at 7:46 pm #680717
Lol, fact is, truly there are men who understand and empathize and make it a point to listen and really focus on others. In my life of 56 years, I have met about five. That is a woman’s lot. To understand that men are pretty much stupid. So find one that’s got a higher IQ than average, and you will have something to work with!!!January 24, 2018 at 7:53 pm #680719
Meh, I’m not one for texting or phone calls.
If you wanna date a phone that’s on you L.January 24, 2018 at 8:51 pm #680738
Men talk about themselves for the same reason women talk about romance, dating, relationships, marriage and babies.January 24, 2018 at 9:02 pm #680739
P. h. Uh, women don’t talk about those things you mentioned on a a date. We are intelligent with many things to talk about.January 24, 2018 at 9:08 pm #680741
Just don’t date men like this. Dating is about weeding out bad matches, isn’t it. As soon as you realise that you are having a ‘me, me, me’ conversation, you’re gone. I think you were just unlucky, there are plenty of men who aren’t like this.January 24, 2018 at 9:14 pm #680744
Why did you put up with that for three hours??? the last date I had like that was over lunch and I cut it off after 45 mins. The guy spoke only of himself, on and on. When I was able to get a word in I asked “you have not asked me a single question about me, are you here to get to know me or to teach me about you?” He tried to back track and steer it back me but I was done and left. He followed up by email that he was just nervous but I had no interest That is a definite deal breaker. I would much rather point out to a man what they are doing than put up with it. Maybe he will learn something.January 24, 2018 at 9:30 pm #680750
Actually, I’ve had people do this on dates and at work. It’s a complete one-sided conversation. They ramble on, not every giving you a chance to talk. I always feel like I should be getting paid like a psychiatrist would.January 24, 2018 at 10:03 pm #680754
Men like this are doing a sort of presentation. They are laying out as much detail as possible so the woman can choose where she likes him and his plans for the future. A man’s career is his identity. Did you know that men die in droves approximately 2 years before and up to 2 years after retirement? Many men simply cannot handle the loss of identity that retirement bestows upon them. A woman has many identities and when one identity ends she can happily live on inhabiting her other identities. When you only have one identity what remains when it is taken away from you?
I would add though that quite often when a man never bothers to ask a woman a question about herself then it is a definite sign that he is only looking for sex.January 24, 2018 at 10:58 pm #680762
Actually PH, I have heard this before. My dad died 6 months after retirement. Never used all that pension he had. My mom died a year after him. I work with a man who is retiring, and he is planning to get a part time job. It’s like men have to have a purpose, like career, job, etc. old women can sit around and do nothing but watch soap operas and gossip.January 25, 2018 at 12:28 am #680781
My identity is my career too and I am able to refrain from talking about myself all the time. This is called good manners.January 25, 2018 at 4:11 am #680801
Hi Sara – this was my ONLY experience of dating too. And I went on lots of dates with lots of different men. I find it so rude. But for it to be so common, I think it must be how their brains are wired, or a consequence of how boys are raised. Often mothers spoil their sons, making the world revolve around them, and this follows through to manhood. I don’t know what the solution is unfortunately.January 25, 2018 at 4:13 am #680802
I’ve tried things like:
“Now we’ve talked about you, is there anything you want to know about me?”
Some women I know are like this too though… annoying!January 25, 2018 at 4:59 am #680803
Had sumilar experience… Texted for a few days before having a phone conversation. He had been talking about himself the majority of the time and asked about 10 times “you know what I mean? ” I think it is his habit to keep asking that when he talks, but that’S really annoying. I interrupted him saying do you always talk this much? He thought that was a compliment and kept on talking. I eventually cancelled our date. Do not want to meet him at all.January 25, 2018 at 5:13 am #680804
If you’re meet someone you met online, just grab a coffee with them. Then you can escape really quickly if you don’t like them.January 25, 2018 at 8:10 am #680815
Conversation is a skill. It takes practice to get better and some people are better at it than others.
While both men and women can be awful at conversation, I do think guys *in general* get the short end of the stick; women are expected to be able to socialize in society and have more support in that area, men don’t often have that. They have their career and maybe a hobby they’re supper passionate about and that’s all they have.January 25, 2018 at 8:12 am #680816
Super*January 25, 2018 at 12:27 pm #680847
Ooft you dont need to ask why you just need to move on. I havent met many like this. You just been unlucky but then again I would have been out of there after half an hour instead of wasting 3 hours of your life on him. First date is always better as a quick meet and greet. xJanuary 25, 2018 at 5:45 pm #680889
Sara doesn’t seem to get the point. If you actually talk to a man on the phone BEFORE you meet him and all he does is talk about himself then you don’t waste your time going on that 3 hour date.January 25, 2018 at 6:54 pm #680899
This is where you learn how to break into a conversation. It is a skill. Sometimes men are just nervous and talk and talk. Break in a shift the conversation with things like, “I know what you mean about that…and did you hear the Royals won today?” Shift, shift, shift.January 25, 2018 at 7:07 pm #680900
I wonder if he was thinking, “Why won’t she talk? I can’t believe I have to carry the entire conversation…”June 27, 2019 at 4:13 pm #755228
Christine m Sharland
I just chatted up a man in a shop and he asked me out and we’ve seen each other for 16 hours over two days. Not sure why he even wanted me with him, as he talked non-stop about himself his hobbies his friends what he liked. No questions about what I liked or what I wanted. I am quiet person but I would like to be able to be asked about myself on a date….he also repeats himself and seems totally unaware hes doing it. I was at his house relying on him to take me home as I have no car. I had to ask hi three times to go home and said I was unwell. Unwell from listing for hours on end. Lol. I was totally exhausted if honest as I’m a bit of an introvert and he sucked the energy out of me .
felt totally left out as the if I wasn’t there and that he was just enjoying the sound of his own voice. Sadly I do not think I’ll be able to see him again.
I had a very messy home filled with memorabilia old antique stuffed papers hundreds of CDs ornaments books everywhere I think he has ‘issues’so I’m not going to even get involved.June 27, 2019 at 4:40 pm #755240
Going to a strangers house isn’t safe…June 27, 2019 at 8:20 pm #755269
I’ve had similar experiences with men. They whine about problems & expect you to sit there & listen. No questions about my life. I think, like, who cares about your woes?
I rarely follow up again with these types of characters & would not have sat there for 3 hours!
It shows right off the bat that they are very self-centered. You will complain until the end of time. Better to get rid of them at the start. They will suck the life out of you!