What kind of relationship is this? I’m confused


Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals What kind of relationship is this? I’m confused

This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Tammy 2 months ago.

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  • #937426 Reply

    Deja

    I’ve been seeing a guy for about 3 months now. We were talking for a year and a half through social media and text, phone calls prior to us finally meeting. He’s had a crush on me for awhile. Once we met we hit it off, we’ve been spending every single night together. He pays half my bills and buys me nice things and is very affectionate. We tell eachother we love eachother but I have never been to his apartment, idk if he’s embarrassed because he’s mentioned his apt not being as nice as he would want it to be. I know the complex that he lives in but not his actually unit. Also we have not been on a single date, every single night he just comes over and we watch movies and cuddle, sex is not always involved. He usually comes around midnight and doesn’t leave until usually 3 in the afternoon. He’s mentioned dates and I’ve mentioned it before too but he never actually makes it happen. He doesn’t mind going out with his friends to eat and shop and do things with them but won’t go anywhere with me or even plan to. I haven’t met any friends or family. Also I can’t get a direct title from him as to what we are but he says he’s never felt the way he feels about me for any other girl and that I’m the only one. He’s 28 and says he hasn’t had a girlfriend since high school when he had his heart broke. He says he’s never talked to anyone as long as he has talked to me so he has no experience in a serious relationship. I’ve mentioned things that I don’t like to him before such as feeling like a bootycall, him not texting me much throughout the day or only on social media, him not seeing me except at the end of the day.. midnight. I’ve also mentioned not feeling like a priority because he only has time for me after he has done work, hung out with his family, hung out with his friends, ran his errands, went to the gym, played video games and then he has time to see me.. in the last hours of the day. It’s always between 1130 and 1230am. I’ve also mentioned him not trying to build with me by us doing things and EVERYTIME I tell him these things and try to break up he says he will change and he begs for me back, will buy me a gift or send me money so that I take him back but nothing changes. I’m confused as to what I am, I feel like a bootycall sometimes or a friend with benefits because he does do things for me and tries to take care of me by helping out monetarily but idk what it is or is it a relationship? I’m just confused and with me mentioning numerous things a few times already in such a short span of time- I just wonder am I being strung along?

    #937427 Reply

    Shawna

    Is this for real?? How old are you? This is all pretty obvious, there’s nothing to wonder about. You’re not a priority and you never will be. You’re a booty call. And really, you’re a paid booty call AKA professional girlfriend since he’s paying your bills, giving you gifts etc but not taking you out or involving you in his life. If you don’t like being treated this way, then just quit taking his calls, his money and his gifts and block him. If he comes over don’t answer the door. It’s that simple. If he hasn’t had a GF in that long he probably doesn’t want one and these are the terms he’s offering to get sex and a little companionship on his schedule. Up to you if you want to accept or not. If you accept it you can’t complain.

    #937428 Reply

    Mary

    Curious why is he paying half your bills.

    #937429 Reply

    Deja

    He just started doing it on his own, from day one. Giving me money, buying me things, then he started paying my rent in full or would pay half my rent. He said because we were involved it was only right to help me out. Even though I never asked him for money or needed it

    #937432 Reply

    Raven

    I’m curious @Deja, What do YOU think is going on?

    #937436 Reply

    Rox

    Hi Deja,
    Just look at the facts, you’ve been out with other men before, right? Midnight as a meeting time is not respectful.

    I mean it sounds like he has another life and maybe doesn’t actually have a place to go home. He might have a place, but has troubles at home he is avoiding. .

    Paying your rent maybe so you don’t shoo him away. Do you work during the day? Why are you so free to accommodate him?
    Definitely dodgy if you never went on an actual date. Call him out as uncommitted because he is probably with someone and doesn’t want to be seen in public with you. You need to look at the situation for what it is.

    #937437 Reply

    Tammy

    Your just a bootie call!

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