Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › What is wrong with Scorpio men?
This topic contains 119 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Ali 10 months, 4 weeks ago.
Hi Scorpio and Leo,
To answer your question, I can honestly said I got curious after he comes back to me but I dont force him to tell me. I wait until he himself admits what he did when I wasnt around. This is my most harder part dealing with my guy as my curiosity mixing with insecure ate me deep inside. He would tell me, for example he go out with his friend (mentioning his male friend’s name) and they spent time fixing stuffs at workplace etc. I made it clear to him, I dislikes the idea of being cheated behind my back (this happened once with a Leo guy, long time ago) and if that ever happened I assure him I dont think twice to go. My Scorpio guy understand this. Maybe he too, experienced being cheated before. I never knew this part but just from the way he acts and didnt trust women as I do to men, I can only assume that.
I would contact him if Im worried but not showing my insecurity on him although you know deep inside me I feel like almost explode. My way is I would share jokes to him. Light jokes and hoping whenever he saw that, he will smile and thinking of me even a bit. Oh God, after some time he shares me his fav music in return and asking me to listen to it! Indicates thats he also wants me to relax and think of him maybe hahaha
Astrologically speaking, categorizing people based solely on their Sun sign, would be a little naive. Yes, the general traits of each sign might be true, but the placement of other personal planets (especially Moon and Venus) is crucial in determining someone’s characteristics. Have you noticed how two people of the same Sun sign can be very different? That’s because their other personal planets are in different signs. More specifically, a man with Sun in Scorpio BUT Venus is Sagittarius will have a more playful and lighter approach to love than a man with Sun in Scorpio AND Venus in Scorpio. When someone’s Venus is in Scorpio, you are dealing with a real Scorpio — emotionally intense, obsessive, dark, secretive, someone who loves deeply and sees love as an all-consuming experience, manipulative, and oh-so-sexy. Yes, Venus in Scorpio people are some of the most sensual people out there.. they just ooze sex appeal (Google it). They are very emotionally intense and not for the faint-hearted. That being said, if they fall for you, you will have one of the most devoted lovers out there. I have studied Astrology for a while, just out of fascination, and have come to realize that focusing only on the Sun sign can be very superficial (and sometime misleading).. you have to do someone’s Natal Chart to have a better understanding of their behavior (there are sites that do Natal Charts for free).
Generally speaking, Aries and Scorpios are not the best match. Yes, they might be attracted at first, but it rarely works in the long run. Water and Fire are not very compatible in general. You might be both intense, but in very different ways. Yours is more of a raw, physical intensity.. Scorpio’s is more of an emotional intensity, that runs deep and it’s not always very obvious. Also, Aries might be a little impulsive, impatient, and self-centered for the emotional Scorpio. Yes, it’s true that Scorpios can be manipulative.. that’s because they have a need to control the people they love. It’s also a defense system.. being so emotional, they hate to get hurt. Because they operate on an emotional basis, they can appear moody too. So yes, dealing with a Scorpio can be a somehow frustrating experience, especially if you’re not the emotional type, but it can also be very rewarding if you win their heart. But at the end of the day, it all comes down to the chemistry between two people. Hope this helps :)
The two Scorpio men I have been involved with were prolific liers. One would lie for unnecessary reasons that don’t even benefit him. It’s like he wanted to lie to maintain control.
They tell you they are upset by withdrawing and giving you the silent treatment This kind of behavior is for 2 year old boys, not men. It is also mental abuse. Be a man and say what’s on your mind. I would totally respect that. If these guys can find a woman who will happily try to “read their minds”, well good luck and happy hunting.
Both Aries and Scorpio do not put up with being controlled by anyone. When these two try to play this game with each other, heads butt big time. The games continue until they both end up hating each other. Scorpio wants a woman who will not resist and let him have this control.
Zaeda I’m quite interested in astrology too. Not for predicting the future but it teaches you to stand back and look more objectively at someone’s personality and what really drives them.
Husband is a true scorpio. He’s scorpio sun sign and venus but Virgo moon. I’m a Virgo sun, libra venus and pices moon. It works for the most part as long as I don’t let him bully me and he doesn’t let himself get too stressed out. I also need to make an effort to be more affectionate at times.
I agree with advice. Whatever this guys star sign is, he sounds like a nightmare!
You’re right, Hannah. A battle of wills seldom yields positive results, especially when the parties involved are *extremely* headstrong.
I’ve tried to avoid going there, but it seems like every time I caved, it gave him an opportunity to play more games. If I tell him that I miss him for instance, he’ll use that as a leverage to see how much he can get away with, how well he can control me (i.e. By pulling away to see if I’ll chase him).
I’ve found that the most effective way to deal with this nonsense is to completely ignore him but quite frankly, I’m at a point where I wonder if this “relationship ” is worth it anymore.
How did it take
I meant to ask “how long dit it take for things to settle down with your husband?”
Micky, husband didn’t play games as such. Right from the start, he wanted to spend all his free time with me. Like literally all of it! He acted like a BF but I could tell he wasn’t that into it in a way I can’t explain. He was also getting texts and attention from other women. I just kept doing my own thing, didn’t bring it up and kept everything casual.
After 3 months, I found out another woman was trying to meet him and that was the last straw. I told him I knew by text and wouldn’t take texts, calls or anything until I could tell he was seriously worried. When we finally spoke, he told me he really liked me but wasn’t ready for a relationship. So I said “fair enough. Let’s stop seeing each other”. Straight away he said he couldn’t not have me in his life and that was that!
Then he totally changed. Mr relaxed and casual became controlling, jealous and possessive. It was a challenge for about a year, lots of fights etc. But gradually improved during that year and calmed down totally once I moved in.
So yes, not sure if I’d call them games but he was a challenge!
Ignoring definitely works. I spent years arguing and it just drove me mad! Now I just give him a look of disgust and won’t talk to him until he’s finished being moody, controlling, difficult, whatever. It sounds passive aggressive but it works! He calms down, realizes he’s upset me, works out why (he’s very perceptive and understanding) and THEN we talk. Both of us can admit our faults and we always come up with a plan to stop whatever the issue was.
I know this sounds weird but I can’t be too nice to him! Naturally I like to do things for people etc. But if I do too much for him or am too nice, he takes me for granted really quickly, so I have to be a bit tough. He’s better when I make him stand on his own two feet and do my own thing a bit. Then he’s really appreciative and we get on great.
Donna the solution to your problem is to STOP DATING SCORPIOS if you honestly feel that’s such a determining factor of another’s personality. I agree with Zaeda, that it’s a bit naïve to bunch a whole group of people together based on their star sign but to each their own. Clearly in your 2 experiences, you simply weren’t compatible. So nothing is “wrong” with them, you just don’t seem to have a compatible personality with the ones you’ve experienced. My on/off was an Aries and yes again, like Zaeda implied, he sometimes lacked the emotional depth I was looking for but we were a decent balance because I took our relationship to the stars while he kept it grounded. It’s ultimately about compatibility in all relationships. If you feel such frustration with anyone whether they’re a gemini, libra, aquarius, scorpio, you just don’t date them…?
Hannah — I also appreciate Astrology more from a psychology point of view (how it affects people’s behavior, love style, communication, etc) than as a medium to predict the future. Often I find the daily horoscope to be a joke, lol. Yes, if your husband’s Venus is in Scorpio, then he is a true Scorpio. Yours seems to be a great match, astrologically speaking, as you have that Sun-Moon double whammy — your Moon in Pisces trines his Sun in Scorpio and his Moon in Virgo conjuncts your Sun in Virgo, if at the same degree (and that is THE BEST aspect to have with someone, as it promises overall compatibility and harmony, especially when living together. It’s the masculine and feminine blending in a harmonic union.) I am in the cusp of Cancer and Leo (proud like a Leo, but emotional and nurturing like a Cancer) but my Moon is in Virgo, therefore I get along great with Virgo people whose sun is in the same degree with my Moon :)
Donna, I agree that this guy sounds like bad news, but let’s not forget that there are liars and manipulators from all signs of zodiac, lol. A lot has to do with a person’s upbringing, background and family, childhood, etc.. which greatly influence their character as adults. You also seem to have very different styles.. you are straightforward, while he is more withdrawn. I am guilty of the silence treatment sometime too.. when I feel hurt or misunderstood, the Cancer in me just wants to go back to her shell and retreat until ready to communicate again, lol. Now someone might consider that childish and manipulative, but to me is more of a defense system and important to my emotional well-being. See, we are all different ‘animals’, thus finding someone whose communication and love style is compatible with ours, is crucial!
I’m a cancer sun, aquarius moon = I’m the sweetest, most detached thing ever. Lol. It’s great. My mind processes my emotions while I completely feel and understand them in a way where I’m capable of making others feel a certain way without being affected much myself unless I allow myself to be… Strange
Jenny, I agree, what a strange duality to have — Cancer is really emotional, while Aquarius is the most emotionally detached sign out there! :) Your Moon in Aquarius might also make you put an emphasis on someone’s intellect and really appreciate a highly intelligent partner. I have NO planets in Aquarius and find them too detached for my taste, lol. But my Moon in Virgo makes me very practical and grounded at the same time.. therefore, even though I like emotional/sensitive people, I also have a need for common sense and practicality in daily matters. Isn’t Astrology so fascinating!! :)
I hear the advice for me to stop dating Scorpios if I am so upset with their behavior. It makes a lot of sense to just avoid them. However, with the last Scorpio especially, I have never felt this type of spiritual connection when we were together. I always connected strongly with his vulnerability and softness. I would just melt and want to love him so much. I still do love him despite all the complaining here.
Think the purpose of this post was to try and hear what others have experienced – try to understand them – since mine would rarely talk about what was going on with him.
Aries and Scorpio – a very challenging match. They can teach each other a great deal. Them – to be more open like us; Me – to tune in and appreciate their sensitivity. Don’t just blurt out anything that comes out of my mouth.
Donna, I agree, you can/should learn from as many social interactions as possible. There’s always ways you can improve and you should always look to continuously grow as a person. Everyone’s on their own journey, I try not to take too much personally, most things are reflections of the individual rather than yourself!
Zaeda, I am very much attracted to highly intellectual men. Mental compatibility can make or break my relationships. If I don’t feel we connect on a mental plane, I become frustrated and dismissive. The Cancer part of me makes everyone feel at ease and comfortable and my “friendly” aquarian nature further emphasizes this but yes, I’ve had many times when people misjudge my curiosity or acceptance as interest and/or investment so they invest in and attach to me under that assumption while I FEEL little to no attachment to them. I care for them, but in a very distant way. I guess sometimes my Cancer energy confuses them so when I walk away 100% unaffected *and not ACTING, legitimately* it hits them a little harder and is perceived as cold and/or cruel. My current squeeze is an Aquarius Sun, Virgo Moon *I love ya’lls tidy and meticulous nature BTW- he’s always so helpful and accommodating, always making sure I’m comfortable, my water’s filled, I don’t “need” anything, etc.* I admire so many things about him, he has such strong character and we seem to bring out the best in one another. Additionally we’re both complete weirdos so that’s a plus too. Lol
“I know this sounds weird but I can’t be too nice to him! ”
I can totally relate.
Thanks for the insight, Hannah!
i had no idea everyone here was so superstitious. :/
Hi, can someone explain why you can’t be too nice to Scorpio men? Do you have to treat them hot and cold, dismissive?
Always thought they pined for attention and wanted women to chase them.
Well this is only my husband so it may not apply to all Scorpios but I find he starts to take my kindness for granted and actually treats me with less love and respect the more I do for him and the more supportive I am. He also gets more controlling and expects more from me.
If I sit back a bit we get on much better! Mainly because I’m happier and don’t feel taken for granted. He treats me with more respect and appreciatea what I do do more.
There’s a difference between what you want and what you need. Most Scorpios love female attention! But they get a lot of it and are chased a lot so they’re used to it. My husband has always had women after him, some obsessively so. He laps it up and does little to discourage it! Ithe means absolutely nothing to him. I had a previous relationship with a scorpio too and both chased me. They will if they’re motivated to and, like all men, they appreciate what they’ve had a work to get. So don’t chase or tell them they’re amazing. They already get enough of that!
I’m not actually remotely superstitious BTW,I just find it an interesting guide to help break down someone’s personality and work out who they really are. It’s more complex than some of the psychology personality types that just bunch people together in large groupings. It is quite often bizarrely accurate though! But I think some of that is because you tend to discount the parts that don’t apply to an individual.
I’m superstitious to an extent. But I’m also practical and grounded and ultimately believe that through consciousness, you can gain control of the things that are capable of being controlled. As we all know, some things aren’t *other people for example* but my behavior, reactions, expression, and perspective can be balanced and precise with enough self-awareness regardless of the “stars”. I use astrology more to see if things apply, maybe it’s a placebo to an effect but it creates conscious though to my own personality traits that I then review as positive or negative and in turn, use my strengths and attempt to resolve my weaknesses. Anything that get’s you THINKING in regards to personal growth and stability is fine by me! :)
Superstitious?! How?? I personally don’t even read the daily horoscope.. I think that’s a joke. Planning your life based on what your horoscope says daily, would be superstition. An understanding of personality traits and behavior based on the placement of planets at the time one is born.. that’s science.
Donna, forget for a moment that this guy is a Scorpio. Do you feel in your heart he loves you? Aside from some of the typical Scorpio characteristics that you mentioned, the claim that ‘they don’t communicate’ is a myth. They DO communicate and will reach out, if they care and have developed feelings for you. Maybe you are attracted to drama and toxic people, and it just happened that the last two guys were Scorpio. I would say, in general, if a guy is not giving you what you want, if you don’t know where you stand with him, if you’re not happy with their communication or love style, then step back and keep your options open. Your happiness should come first. Most likely he is seeing other women, hence the disappearance/reappearance. Don’t let that become a cycle. And absolutely do not be on hold! A Scorpio man, and any man for that matter, will not respect you for that. Scorpios can be controlling, but ironically, they fall for women they can’t control. Be that independent, strong woman who doesn’t need a man to be happy. When he senses that, you will definitely become more attractive in his eyes. ‘What can I do to attract him?’ is not the right mindset — that makes him the trophy, when actually YOU should be the trophy! You sound very conflicted about this guy, but if you still want him in your life, then start by changing your mindset and attitude. Never be a doormat, don’t be available all the time, especially to last minute plans, stay busy and have an interesting life, and if he really cares, he will put the effort. If he doesn’t, then he is not worth it.. just let it go. Good luck!
Well, my boyfriend is Scorpio and he’s the calmest and most chilled out guy I’ve ever seen. Trusts me a lot, looks out for me and in fact when I get hyper, he calms be down. He’s the best communicator too. Nothing wrong with the sun sign, per se.
AK no nothing wrong at all! Star signs really don’t define a person. But seriously I’ve never met a chilled out scorpio! You have a special one. How long have you been together?
Are you serious? :) that’s nice to hear :) and ive been with him for almost a year now and we rarely fight. (Maybe once a month/ 2 months) Even when we do its on minor issues (as we are in different time zones) I’m a Sagittarius and he gives me space and trusts me implicitly so it’s very good and There are times I get hyper (typically when he’s too busy) and he cracks a joke or something to lighten up the mood and calms me down and then talks normally. In fact I have dated guys who are Aries, libra, Leo, Virgo and he’s by far the coolest and the most chilled out, zero drama.
Ahh! You just click! Let’s face it, that has nothing to do with star signs. It’s just compatibility. Maybe you have other aspects in your charts that work or maybe you don’t. All that matters is you work well together. It is seriously usual though! I’m not sure I’ve met a male or female scorpio who isn’t a drama queen at times!
Thank you Hannah. Yes that could be it too that we just click and/or there are other astrological aspects that work well with each other :) seriously unusual you mean? :) well, here I am capable of doing a bit of drama here and there but he’s like the poster boy for no drama! Lol in fact, I used to do too much drama in the past and thanks to his influence I have become way calmer! No kidding!
Interesting thread. I’ve just met my first Scorpio and went on a date yesterday (even though I’ve been taking some time off from dating for the last 4 months), he seemed too good to pass on (too much in common). He was very guarded at first, but became super silly and childlike by the end of the evening. I enjoyed the date very much. So far his pursuit of me has been typical of all the “alpha” males and I don’t find anything different there. You know he will jump in bed with you the minute you give him the green light.
My best friend from childhood through high school is a Scorpio, and it was never a dull moment with her. But she was also a bit of a bully…