What does space mean? Am I being unfair or stubborn?

Hell to the no, dump this dude. He just demoted you. He did not say I need some space for work, he said I need some space for work and I want to keep seeing you but not tell anybody about it. Read that again and tell me how that feels. It is not secure attachment to take whatever garbage the dude gives you. It is secure attachment to know that you can find someone better, and to not take poor treatment. I’ve done enough work on this to know that what you’re suggesting is to just take that this man has completely downgraded her. The reason why I know this is _ it’s not just that he said he had work to do, it’s that he said I want to see you behind closed doors. That is absolutely ridiculous. And any person with secure attachment would not except that because that is not someone who’s available.

at the very minimum she should go back and ask what the behind close door thing is about before she decides what she wants to do but I don’t think it’s a good sign. However the end of what she suggests a good idea which is go focus on yourself and if he doesn’t come around and try to see you etc. and that you’re still continuing to be confused dump him.

Into the poster you don’t know what this guy feels for you. I got to tell you all of this does not bode well for how he feels about you. It does not mean that you shouldn’t wait it out for two or three weeks but I wouldn’t give it more time than that. Even very very busy people manage to have good relationships.

Secure,

The issue is not the busy. The issue is the “let’s date behind closed doors”. That is a deal breaker, I am sorry. RED FLAG. She should get clarity on that and why he is saying it. What does that mean?

This is not about him even seeing other women, it is when a man wants to hide you, you have someone who is not into you. He can see her once a week and try to make it romantic and fun, and public and people know about it. Men who want to be boyfriends, show you off and bring you into their life, even when it is busy.

If they have been together more than a few months, this is not ok in my book. It is purposefully creating distance and looks a lot like avoidance.

I have dated very busy men before, and when they are busy, they say – I am busy until this time, they then come back with a fervor to see you, and they NEVER EVER say – let’s date behind closed doors.

Secure,

There is a big big big huge difference between putting your relationship on display and someone outright telling you that they are going to hide your relationship. That is what he said.

If you are ok being with someone who hides you (which is not necessarily the opposite of someone who shows you off), then I am happy you are ok with that. I want a man who wants me in his life and grows our life together and is ok/wants people knowing about it at a reasonable pace. All it means is that the don’t put distance between us by saying things like – our relationship is going to be behind closed doors.

There is a huge difference between private and hidden. They are literally different words :-)

Kinda petty but ok

LOL… we all know BOS wasn’t going away that easily. She’s been here for years. She has nothing better to do.

So many fake posters being outed here as well. Hard to know who’s for real. Appreciate the admin taking the time to clean this place up.

To the OP: you’ve been dumped. And he’s keeping you as a bit on the side. Hard to take, but I hope you won’t stick around to be used at his convenience.