This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by 1 month, 1 week ago.
September 11, 2015 at 4:12 pm #457522
The guy I’m ‘dating’ called me naive. He literally said “you’re so naive, you’d believe everything”
We have dated for a few months but then he said he wasn’t in love with me. I was crushed bc I thought he was really into me and the it was going somewhere. We decided to end it..
He is sending me mixed signals the past 3 months. We had a good talk and he explained why it wouldn’t work out and that he was really confused bc he really liked me. We’re still flirting at work (he’s my co-worker) and we still kiss sometimes..
I feel like he’s also in love with me but he is fighting his feelings.
Now he told me i’m naive and i can’t stop thinking about it.. Does it mean i’m stupid to believe him?
Please help me out..September 11, 2015 at 4:37 pm #457527
If he broke up with you and explained why it wouldn’t work and told you he wasn’t in love with you and for 3 months has not tried to reconcile with you, then he’s made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
He apparently likes you, flirts with you, kisses you, but doesn’t see himself falling in love with you. There is nothing you can do or say to make him change his mind.
Maybe he thinks you’re naïve because you think he’s in love with you but fighting his feelings when he’s clearly told you he’s not. Or maybe you’re naïve to think there’s still a chance at reconciliation. You really haven’t given us the context he said it in to even speculate as to what he meant.September 11, 2015 at 5:53 pm #457540
OUCH! Basically he is saying he has no respect for you. If you think somebody is naive and you’re telling them “I don’t want you but I like you” then you’re just trying to soften the blow and are pretty much laughing behind their backs…..he thinks he has complete control over you because he doesn’t want you, and yet you believe he is “just scared” or “just confused” and give him chance after chance. In a nutshell it means he thinks you are EASY. Maybe he’s just an a-hole, maybe you need to tighten up your standards. I know when I did that my whole life turned around and I had the love and devotion I always wanted from great men.September 11, 2015 at 6:38 pm #457545
Thanks for your replies ladies..
I guess I made a fool out of myself.. We’re co-workers and it’s hard to face him on daily basis. I tried to distance myself from him so many times but he keeps coming back. I told him i can’t do the casual thing bc i’m in love with him. We’ve had ‘the talk’ a few times and he kept saying he liked me a lot but was confused. And I think I was naive to believe that.
He also knows i don’t want the friends with benefits thing. I realize i should have insisted on staying just friends instead of hoping for more..September 11, 2015 at 7:11 pm #457547
You’re not a fool!! You were smart enough not to do the friends with benefits thing with a man you knew you were in love with. And he would have been happy to have a FWB arrangement all the while saying he was still confused and stringing you along. At least he was honest with you. You’ll read a lot of stories on here of guys stringing girls along by saying everything they want to hear. Then they disappear and leave them heartbroken. There is a guy out there for you. Just try to stay away from co-workers in the future. As you can see that can be messy when things don’t work out.September 11, 2015 at 8:24 pm #457552
Thank you Kaye.. I’ve learned my lesson, never again. Thank God i haven’t slept with him. That would be so much worse to deal with.. I really felt a connection with him, (i still do) and was ready for the next step. Glad i waited.
We still talk a lot and cuddle & kiss but i feel sad afterwards because i want more. I’m having a hard time letting go of him. I love him as a person but don’t know how to stay friends without falling back on old habits.September 11, 2015 at 8:28 pm #457554
Stop cuddling with him!!!!!!
You are causing your own pain…. Please just stop. So you. An meet a man who is truly romantically interested. Even cuddling is beneath you… He doesn’t deserve it and you deserve a man who isn’t using you.September 11, 2015 at 9:03 pm #457566
You’re right, i feel miserable because it feels like he is out of reach anyway. Thank you for your reply xyz