Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › What does he want?
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by
Colleen.
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Annoymous
So I met this guy a month ago and have been texting almost daily. We’ve been out three times so far. I confronted him that if he’s not interested in dating me then we should just leave things. He said he wasn’t too sure as he’s been single and broke up with someone a very long time ago. He said he wants to be friends first and get to know me before going onto dating.
But everytime we’re out, he paid for food, tickets and coffee. The restaurants we went weren’t super expensive but they weren’t cheaper either. I offered to split it but he insisted. I don’t think it’s fair as we agreed on being friends?
What do you guys think? What does he want?
Andrea
If he tries to sleep with you despite telling you he wants to “take it slow”, then he’s after sex.
Dangerouse
You are a difficult person. Why would you use the term confronted him, instead saying, “I brought up the topic”.
Its only been three dates. What gives you the right to confront someone. What has he done wrong? He’s texting daily and talking you on dates.
He wouldn’t be dating if he wasn’t looking. He’s looking. He’s been looking at you. Then you had to “confront ” him, ?
After being confronted, he pulled back. Because you were pushy and scared him. Ate you an aggressive person?
And now you are pissed because he is not rushing but paying. You don’t seem fun, you are too demanding that he rush
Kathy
What made you want to confront him?
Anonymous
Hm because I feel like he usually prefers me to start the conversation I’m pretty new at dating and still figuring things out. I didn’t do it to be mean, I just didn’t want to waste both of our time if that make sense.
Maybe I didn’t use the correct term. Confront is a strong word- I brought it up.
Better off single
So he wants to start off as friends. What’s wrong with that? There is no pressure when you start off as friends and then things will either progress naturally, fizzle out, or end disastrously.
So he wants to start off as friends and you don’t want to continue dating others? Keep yourself occupied doing other things? You wouldn’t be wasting your time that way.
Don’t you think the whole love at first sight, head over heels, weak at the knees, butterflies, instant relationship is overrated? EVERY Love at first sight situation I have ever been in ended badly. With the last one, I idealized the person he was in my head and turns out he was not that person at all… he threw me off by putting up a slimy prince charming that got past me. I stayed in that miserable relationship too long waiting for that prince charming to come back. It never did.
Just enjoy the attention when you get it, try your best not to over think it, and keep your options open. Let this be an opportunity for you to decide if you actually want the guy or just the relationship status. Have fun. Get creative. Watch his actions…even the s×it he posts on social media. Listen to your intuition and use your brain. Ignore how you feel about him for awhile. You were just fine before the guy popped in your life, you can stay that way even with him in it.
Tallspicy
Honey if you have to ask about the status of our relationship at three dates you’re not healthy enough to be dating. The reality is you may be wasting your time and you may get your heart broken and that is what happens when you actually go out and meet people. It’s best to just pay attention to whether or not he’s showing up for real for the first month or two, do not sleep with him until your exclusive, and let him lead. If you cannot trust yourself or let things just progressed for a couple of months then you shouldn’t be dating. No healthy person at 3 dates knows anything more than – this person is interesting, I want to see them again. If you cannot date with no emotional
Investment, you need to get emotionally healthy first.Better off single
Write your irrational or emotional thoughts out in a note pad and read them back to yourself a little later in the day. Once you feel you’ve gotten over it, delete it, burn it, or throw it away.
Tell nobody about it. Especially the guy you’re dating.
Colleen
He seems nice. Give him a chance. Be appreciative instead of demanding. Keep busy with your life, and, above all, be courteous. No games, no attitude, be ladylike. Respond to his texts in a timely manner, be ladylike, etc.
After you get to know him, you may, or may not decide that you two are special. That is dating, not everyone you date will be that special one.
Be your most respectful self, and see where it goes. You sound as if a guy must become an instant boyfriend. That is wrong thinking.
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