Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Very confused by boyfriends behavior
- This topic has 15 replies and was last updated 4 years, 5 months ago by
Lane.
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Ashley
Hey all— do you find this suspicious?
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months. We hadn’t slept together yet.
All the sudden a few weeks ago, I meet a bunch of his extended family and ever since I met them— he’s been so sweet and loving toward me.
Not that he wasn’t kind before— but what changed? Why this sudden super attitude.
I’m suspicious maybe he feels guilty about cheating or something and is now being nice?
He wanted to sleep with me for the first time after that day. I just find it very odd. Why now? Why not before?
Strange.
Ashley
Still looking for advice on this
Better off single
He is taking things to a deeper level and you wanna question it. What advice are you looking for?
Liz Lemon
How old are you two?
Honestly five months is a really long time to date someone without having sex, in my opinion. He must be really into you to still be with you after 5 months with no sex. Unless you two are really young, like in high school or just out of high school (I’m in my 40s for the record).
Why do you think he’s cheating because he’s being extra nice to you? Has he done something in the past to make you think this? I don’t understand why you’re suspicious. Maybe he introduced you to his family and you really clicked, maybe his family told him you were great, so now he’s wanting to take the relationship to the next level?
It’s normal to want sex after 5 months of dating. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with of course, don’t do it if you don’t want to. But I just don’t understand why you think there’s a problem. The guy has been respectful, waited 5 months, still introduced you to his family, is being extra nice to you…and now because he’s finally asked for sex, you think he might be cheating?
Warasen
Why haven’t you two consummated the relationship yet? That would help understand what might have changed.
I agree with Liz, unless you’re both young, he’s stuck around for 5 months and doesn’t seem to have pressured you for sex. That sounds like a “nice
Ames
What are you confused about? Your BF is being nice to you. Would you prefer him to be mean? The only thing “strange” here is you and your question. You should be happy he’s not pushing you for sex and is being patient. Also that he introduced you to his family. You’re lucky..
Ashley
Sorry for my delay I just mean that why is he being nice all of the sudden?
He never wanted to sleep with me before I meet his extended family but now he does?
Doesn’t that seem just odd to you? It’s not that he wasn’t pressuring me. He didn’t want to! I tried and he wouldn’t. I felt like a loser
But now all the sudden boom?! It’s just suspicious.
I havent ever really trusted anyone. I’ve been cheated on in every single relationship I’ve ever been in. To no fault of my own, and now I can never relax in a relationship because I know at any second they will/can leave me.
Ashley
Please help with this
Vera
After 5 months together you can certainly speak with him about this issue . Have a conversation about how you feel and what sex means to each of you. Don’t do anything with him you don’t want to do
Ashley
I just want to know, why he wants to sleep with me now as opposed to before.
It’s clear to me he had someone else he was sleeping with and that must have ended and now he’s just back to me. Even though we have been official for that whole time.
Liz Lemon
How can you possibly know that he was sleeping with someone else before? Do you have any proof at all? Or is it just your insecurity and paranoia messing with your head?
If you want to know why he wants to sleep with you now, then ask him. A bunch of strangers on the internet can’t give you an answer to that.
How old are you both?
new Newbie
I’m not sure I see this as a red flag.
A green flag is when they introduce you to their friends/family.
A red flag is when they haven’t introduced you to friends/family after a reasonable amount of time.
Better off single
Sleeping together has to happen at some point.
Do you really want to be with this guy? It seems like you don’t.
anon
I see it as he is a good guy, who sees that you have potential, wanted you to meet his family to see how you fit in, you passed the test, and now he wants to get closer. Maybe he has hurt women by sleeping with them too early and had to break up with them when he found they were not a good fit for his life.
Ames
Maybe he wanted to take it slow now he’s ready after you met his family. Maybe he was sleeping with half the town of NYC and now he wants only you. Maybe he’s not even a man? Have you seen his D? Point is, just ask him. And next time post a somewhat interesting question.
Lane
I think you are blaming him for the sins of others. There is NO GUARANTEE that man will never whether you’ve been with him 5 months or 20 years! There are always RISKS whether you get in your car and drive, or get into a relationship…that’s a fact of life.
Why are you not talking about this??? You have to go deep; to get deep. These are discussions you have no differently than asking them their favorite color, what music they like, what their short and long term goals are. Why are you *afraid* to communicate with him? Ask him why the sudden interest in sex as he’s the one who knows that answer and its your job to get them if you have a concern, worry or just plain ole curious.
After 5 months I’m curious as to why neither of you have opened up and discussed this topic? That’s the whole purpose and intent of dating and getting to know each other better in order to determine you and he make really good couple/partnership or not. If you can’t even discuss this simple topic, how are you going to be able to discuss others, especially the hard one’s if your afraid to speak or talk to each other? You were given a voice for a valid reason, use it.
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