The last straw! Help me make a decision please

I honestly feel sorry for you that you care about yourself so little that this is still an issue. Honestly when a man is not even consistent for three weeks you should be dumping him. He has told you that he will not give you what you want. Do you want to tell the universe that that’s what you want or do you want to tell the universe that you want the right thing for you? This is not even about him. It is about you and your lack u of self-care and self abandonment. I suggest you go to a therapist because my guess is that this is an ongoing issue around bad boundaries and taking care of yourself emotionally. If you were healthy you would find this all soSo gross that you would never even be attracted to him. Please look up anxious attachment, and go get some professional help. You have it in you to take care of yourself but you have to own that you are responsible for you. This man is not and will never be. What pattern is this repeating?

As the other posters indicated- he told you the truth. Reply back to him- thank you for your honesty, I’m moving on from this relationship because I want someone who’s all in right now. Do not listen anything else he says afterwards because more than anything his actions speak volumes and he doesn’t really care about the relationship.

Take care of yourself and do not reply to that message. He has not shown a change in his actions and he is just trying to draw you back in with words. If you feel tempted to respond, then block him. You have to be firm with this guy.

Yes I dont think I believe him now. I need to cut it off although it really hurts to let him go but I guess its best for my mental health. I am really suffering because of him.
Thankyou so much everyone for your support. I cant thank you guys enough.

Raven if a guy just turned up at my door uninvited I would be scared and worried -normal people don’t that no more – it’s not like the movies.

Thank you Ems!
But I am honestly so drained rn. It feels like a burden on my head. I havent replied to him and I dont plan to because I feel this mental trauma right now. If anything happens or he reaches out again then I will definitely update here. I dont think I can do this on my own.

I can understand why this guy is confusing to you. He is giving you two mixed messages: i cant be the man for you, i made this toxic, but i will step up when i can. But you have to see this as just words. If this guy really wanted to commit it would be cristal clear you are his girl and he is your guy. But you have been going nowhere in 7,8 months. I can understand you Have a hard time letting go, but i think you need to. And in the end it wont be so bad. No more confusing from mister unavaible. In the bagage reclaim site, i think the name is, from Nathalie lue, you have a whole website about this type of guy

FFS… would people please not encourage Stacy to stay with this guy. NO BUENO. Ever. There’s nothing left to “fix.”

Hello everyone!
So here’s an update as I promised.
He said that he is willing to commit if I am willing to. By commitment he means giving up social media because he doesnt like me talking to any guys. He hardly uses social media himself but I guess he doesnt like the attention I receive from the guys.
He was very happy when he found out that I deleted my snapchat (which was purely for study purposes because I have medical exams coming up) but at the same time, he stopped using it too.
I am in a better headspace now since that day and I am not crying anymore for him.
I am confused now. I used to be very active on social media a year ago but then I started using it very less because of my studies. I am confused now. If he is so insecure about it then isnt it a problem?
Secondly, I read between the lines from the conversation we had that he made me go through hell and acted hard to get just because of the male attention I get. It blew my mind because I have always been so loyal to this person and always showed it through my actions. Now I am wondering if he even deserves my love.

Honestly, this is too rocky and I don’t expect there will be calmer waters just because he threw out some words. Men are ACTION orientated whereas if you don’t have actions before or after their words then they are not being honest to you or themselves. WORDS + ACTION = THE TRUTH and that is how a man’s character should be judged.

I don’t believe this is fixable, whereas he is blaming you for him not committing!?!? That’s a manipulation tactic to get you to believe it was your fault and never his! Sorry but what he is saying is hogwash as I get a lot of male attention from men too but that never inhibited them from committing, if anything, it made them step up and work harder to make sure darn sure another man wouldn’t steal me away! Anytime a man didn’t, another man did, so I dropped Mr. wishy-washy pretty quickly.

I would stand pat and not let him wiggle his way back in so easily. Make HIM do the hard work to SHOW YOU his words have meaning behind them (says what he does and does what he says), if not, do the permanent walk.

These days, it’s weak to care too much or have any compassion at all. People are becoming less empathetic, more psychotic, sociopathic, and narcissistic because of social media. It’s an unconscious hold on the human race. Social media is stupid.

Guys are becoming lazy a×sholes.
They chase after women who glam up almost every minute of their life posted on facebook and Instagram, have the good job and good looks but are a total selfish ugly b×ch inside or they chase after the ones who know how to flirt and say the right thing only to manipulate men and abuse them.

The guy sounds really stubborn, not flexible at all. It’s his way or the highway. Can you imagine what arguments would be like? You’re having a difficult time now, after getting to know all your quirks and habits, he will know exactly where to hit you. where it hurts the most. I’d rather get punched over psychological control and manipulation. When you have all 3 good luck getting out of that situation. A few years down the line, he will have your spirit so broken you won’t have anyone to run to or even know who you are anymore. He’s already flipping tables on you causing you to question if it is you with the problem (its not).

Does he deserve your love? Probably not. It sounds like he wants to possess you and objectify you as a thing. Not a person with thought and feeling. He’s willing to commit as long as you give up your life pretty much…no trust, no relationship. Sounds shady AsF.